My uncle

[Readyfortheschoolhols]

Aibu to ask for your help?
Will cut to the chase as don't want to get emotional, have just found out via Google (?) that my late aunt's dp has died.
I am nc with all my family and when they split he moved and aunt made it clear I was to take her side. Against my better judgment I didn't make plans to keep in touch.
Massive regret these past years. Even asked on here if anyone knew his whereabouts.
Those bloody sites with past obituaries on won't give me the details!!
How can I find out? I have his name and the date a memorial was posted in our local paper. Absolutely no-one irl to ask.
Thanks in advance.

What are you trying to find out exactly?
Obituary sites normally go back many years.

What kind of details do you need / want?

I would like to visit his grave and pay my respects. He was the most important male figure I have ever had.
The sites just offer lists upon lists of names not his even when I put details in!!

Does the paper itself have an obituary section? If someone has taken the trouble to run a memorial they probably also posted a death notice when he died.

search.findmypast.co.uk/search-world-records/national-burial-index-for-england-and-wales

Might be useful but I don't know how up to date it is kept

You can ask for a copy of his death certificate from the registry office of the District he died in. That will tell you how and when he died.
You can also contact the cemetery to ask for the location of the grave within the cemetery. If you don't know which you can ask different ones in likely areas.
Did the obit not give funeral details?

I'm sorry, OP

Have you tried looking on find a grave? It's all one word and then dot com (sorry - on v elderly phone that doesn't have c and p). Otherwise, perhaps his local paper for the death notice, if it wasn't in the nationals: there's often details of the funeral director or of where the service is to take place, either of which will give you a place to start.

There may not be a grave, may be ashes spread ?

I’ve had similar where someone died and I didn’t know where the grave was, I wanted to pay respects. No one in the family let me know they had died and been buried as we are NC.
I couldn’t find them, instead I set aside some time and had a reminisce, lit a candle and said my goodbyes. They were religious, so I went to a church and lit a candle as she would have liked that.

Well don't I feel bloody stupid!!
The message I read was from him not about him!!
So I had dh take a look as he is more tech savvy than me and du had left the memorial for a lady who had died!!
It has spurred me on to try find him, lots of catching up to do after nearly 20 years. Not sure where to start, not on fb and have no one irl to help.
Thanks everyone!!

That's good news! (For you)

Hope you find him OP