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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to shout a bit at my mum when she drove 2 miles with my son strapped in his carseat, but not strapped to the car??

39 replies

kittylette · 26/05/2007 20:44

She seems to think i overreacted when she put him in the car but didnt check the carseat was actully attached!

I got straight in the front, assuming my fully competent, secretary mother could put my son in the car without help (after all shes been doing it 2 years)

Then when i got in the back and discovered it apparantly it wasmy fault for not checking

AIBU?

I seriosuly don't know? Should i have checked she did it properly when shes had 4 kids of her own?

OP posts:
PandaG · 26/05/2007 20:45

Well, I have doen it myself, so can understand how it happens but, I was angry with myself, so I can yunderstand why you were cross with your Mum.

Hilllary · 26/05/2007 20:46

Hmm a bit unreasonable, he is your son and your responsibility - sorry, also I have done this many times myself, I'm sure we all have when sleep deprevation has hit.

misdee · 26/05/2007 20:46

i have done it several times

was the seat already in the car?

SoupDragon · 26/05/2007 20:46

I've done this with all 3 of mine at some point. Also without them strapped inthe seat but seat fixed in.

Actually, I can't have done it with BabyDragon as I bought a seat base so that it couldn't happen...

NomDePlume · 26/05/2007 20:46

I have done this before when DD was teeny.

Kitty, don't forget that your mum prob didn't have to worry about car seats etc when you and your siblings were nippers. I remember the days when kids rode merrily along in the back with no seatbelt at all.

FlossALump · 26/05/2007 20:47

we all make mistakes! I'd be upset but would try and think of the numerous dumb things I have done myself. I'm sure she was mortified and blamed you as a reaction IYSWIM. I bet it won't happen again, and if it did then would be the time to get really cross.

gemmiegoatlegs · 26/05/2007 20:47

this can happen to anyone - you wouldn't want H2B attacking you if YOU forgot to check. It's just one of those things, at least your ds is safe and well.

saadia · 26/05/2007 20:48

I've done it too - put ds in the seat but forgot to strap him in. The good thing is that we are all OK and will hopefully never do it again. So, as it is a mistake I have made with my own ds I think you are being a tad unreasonable as she is probably feeling as bad about it as you are.

Original poster
kittylette · 26/05/2007 20:48

It freaked me out, especially as later that day she had to emergenct break because of some numbnut woman running into the road,

my mums only 40,

they had carseat then

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 26/05/2007 20:51

I have to say though Kitty, it was absolutely natural for you get a bit upset at it

NomDePlume · 26/05/2007 20:51

I am only a cpl if years older than you and there were no car seats when I was little.

SoupDragon · 26/05/2007 21:00

I remember y neive (now 16) having a carseat as a beby and they were prtty new then. Also, second stage seats fitted with special straps rather than seat belts so they weren't as portable.

SoupDragon · 26/05/2007 21:00

My neice. cr*p typing!

Original poster
kittylette · 26/05/2007 21:01

Yes but shes dont it for 2 years, so its hardly new to her.

OP posts:
gess · 26/05/2007 21:01

I've done it a couple of times- no idea how it came undone assume another child did it. So yes you are BU. It's a mistake, they happen.

ProfYaffle · 26/05/2007 21:04

dh forgot to strap dd2 into her car seat today. I would've forgotton to strap dd1 in a few weeks ago if she hadn't reminded me she wasn't done up. It happens, we're all human.

adath · 26/05/2007 21:05

A little unreasonable but not unnatural
You shouted because you were shocked at what could have happened which is totally natural but I know my mum wouldn't think to check the seat every time and in all honesty I don't either. The same could have happened to any of us and we probably may have shouted a bit in fright but really it was jst as much our fault.

SoupDragon · 26/05/2007 21:08

Do you never make mistakes, Kitty?

ENTP · 26/05/2007 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JodieG1 · 26/05/2007 21:24

Not unreasonable imo, surely people don't follow their parents around when they're doing things for their children double checking it's all been done perfectly? Don't we feel able to trust in others to take some responsibility for themselves too? I don't think you should have to check that your mother has put their grandchild into a carseat properly, if they have doubts they should ask.

lisad123 · 26/05/2007 21:26

I have done it too
You mum would never have put your son at risk on purpose but we all male mistakes.
L

whomovedmychocolate · 26/05/2007 21:27

My DD has worked out how to undo hers (the little rascal). Look it's an unfortunate accident, you can bet she will check closely next time, mark it down to a temporary lapse in concentration and move on.

You are only unreasonable if you focus on things you can't change IMHO.

Original poster
kittylette · 26/05/2007 21:29

I know

but just because someone makes a genuine mistake doesnt mean they were in the wrong

The part im pissed about is the fact she tried to blame me for not checking it!

I couldve not strapped in him properly too at some point, but it would be MY mistake, i wouldnt blame her

AIBU for being pissed she said it was my fault for not double checking was the Q

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 26/05/2007 21:39

Kitty, have some wine!

PinkChick · 26/05/2007 21:41

ive passed lots of cars recently with babies/toddlers in car seats, but not actually fastened in, leaning forward of kneeling backwards in them!

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