Charity fundraiser

[Mum251612]

Hi need opinions on this as it's on my mind.

So my DD is doing a charity swim for the unit she was born in at her school ( she was born 11 weeks early) and I set up a page for donations . Now her godmum who is also a good friend is not really having financial issues she just is spending less then usual. She donated her only £5 , I know i should not expect more but it somehow still annoys and I know I can not say anything as just the fact that she has donated is great but I know she could have done £20 any thoughts ?

Yabtu. How much she gives is up to her. She could have chosen to give nothing.

People are free to donate as little or as much (or even nothing!) as they want.

ok fair enough just needed someone else thoughts thank you

You really shouldn't judge someone on the amount they choose to give to a particular cause. Their chosen amount (or none at all) is entirely their own business.

TBh, it wouldn't be my choice of charity.

However, it's more about your DD being proud about the amount she has managed to raise. Could you slip that in to a conversation in anyway?

Maybe she doesn't have the money.
Maybe she has already given a lot to charity this month.
Maybe she has just chosen to spend her money on other things.

Yes YABU to be annoyed.

YABVVVVVU. You have no idea what other causes she is donating to and even if you did it is none of your business.

If I discovered that a close friend was judging me for the amount of donation I made to a charitable cause of her family's choice, I'd be bloody hurt and very angry.

Even more so if it then transpired that she was seeking opinions off strangers online for who knows what purpose.

People have there own reasons for donating. My mum does not like donating for medical equipment because she thinks should be funded by ni/tax contributions. I refuse to sponser my friends gap year trip to build an orphanage because I don't approve of 'voluntarism' yet I was happy to donate to another friend's child walk for the homeless. Donating is very personal and your friend has donated you are being unreasonable.

Crickey! I often ‘only’ donate £5, as I sponsor a fair few people. Could no way give £20. You should be pleased she gave anything!

Also sometime depends on how exceptional people deem the task.

She is being nice to support your dd, and giving an acceptable amount. Also when other people see that amount they'll feel ok giving similar, so more will support it.
I've previously not supported things as I would be the only person putting down less than 20 quid, and felt too self conscious doing that

People aren’t obligated to give anything I’m afraid, you say she ‘could’ have given more but you don’t necessarily know about the rest of her spend for that week/month, debts she might have etc. Be grateful for the donation.

There could belots of valid reasons why she didn't donate more.

Could be that

She thinks tax and the NHS should fund hospitals.
She has already donated to other people/causes that she cares about.
She doesn't really agree with sponsored fundraisers as many people don't want to give money for sponsored events that the participants would enjoy too much/want to do anyway.
She doesn't like being guilted into giving money away, which is how many people feel when it's children that are doing it.
She could be watching her budget.
She simply might not want to, or she might think that £5 is perfectly adequate.

I think £5 is enough, people can't be expected to give £20 for every sponsored event they are asked about. Focus on the fact that she donated, which is a kind and generous thing to do, not how much she gave.

It does depend on what your daughter is doing. Obvioulsy if she is swimming the channel thats going to be an amazing feat and would warrent a bit more than a fiver. If she's doing 2 lengths of the school pool, fiver is fine.

I wasn't trying to be judgmental I just know she has donated more for less serious events but I guess like others have said £5 is enough DD is swimming a 100 length but I should not look at what her godmother has given to other causes as not my business.

Thank you all for your opinions

5£ is a fairly reasonable “token” amount I think, especially if someone doesn’t usually contribute to these types of things. You sound very entitled.

YABU. I hope you mr daughter doesn’t pick up on your ungratefulness.

I think some people did not read my thread I said I thought it was great she donated and only questioned the amount and then posted that I saw the point of some of the reasonable comments . No where did I say I was ungrateful!! Not sure what the point of personal attacks is . God forbid asking people opinions for those who gave their actual opinions thank you . To the rest who just posted personal attacks thanks for your useful opinions

No where did I say I was ungrateful!!

People are just inferring it from the need you had to ask the question in the first place! However I cross posted with you where you accepted this fact, otherwise I wouldn’t have posted.

I don’t sponsor anyone. There are too many people asking for money for this that and the other so I ignore all requests. I give to charities independently as I choose so I think she has been very kind

crispysausagerolls thank you

I often get 4/5 requests a month
I can and do give £10 to each but that’s my limit

£20?! YABU.

just the fact that she has donated is great

That's the thought you need to hold onto, OP.

Hope your DD's event goes well.