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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

First time 18 year old dd

42 replies

Elusiveone · 21/06/2018 09:20

Is getting the bus on her own from college to home today.
Now before anyone mentions shes 18 and should be doing this on her own by now. Well dd is disabled and has really done well lately with gaining her independence slowly. She usually gets sen transport but wants to do the whole journey back to on her own. She knows the bus and where to get on but i meet her off the bus. Shes been on the bus lots if times but today she is going to go to the bus stop on her own unescorted. She has had a scheme called bus buddies so has been shown everything so today shes taking the plunge to do it all herself. Its only one bus so no changing and a twenty minute ride.
Aibu for worrying about this as everyone said she will be fine.

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 21/06/2018 09:22

Best of luck to her.

TeenTimesTwo · 21/06/2018 09:24

YANBU. The first time a DC does something independently is a big step for both the DC and the parent. This step may be coming later for your DD but it is OK to worry. Did she promise to text you at the end of the journey?

Teggun · 21/06/2018 09:25

Of course you are not being unreasonable to worry! What would have been unreasonable would have been to stop her doing it, but are supporting her because you are a fantastic Mum.

Huge congratulations to your DD and Flowers for you while you wait.!

Orangecake123 · 21/06/2018 09:26

I really hope it goes well for her.

kingjofferyworksintescos · 21/06/2018 09:26

She will be fine , she's wanting to take the plunge and show a little independence and this is her first big step , she will be glowing after today

x2boys · 21/06/2018 09:28

im sure she will be fine but i would also worry ,im also the patent of a disabled child (although he is only 8)well done to your daughter!

Original poster
Elusiveone · 21/06/2018 09:29

Thankyou. She said she will let me know when she gets on it so i can time when to meet her off it. Its quite near her college but needs to cross a road this is my biggest worry. She has been taught road safety from very young so lets hope she remembers. Not a very buisy road but still a challenge for her but she has crossed roads on her own before. Think im worrying over nothing. She is adamant on using the bus from september so practising now.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 21/06/2018 09:30

Well done OPs dd for taking this step and well done you, OP, for encouraging her to the point where she feels ready to do it!

Having brought up a disabled dd with MH issues to the point where she now feels able to live independently in a big city, I know the kind of work and the courage that goes into this sort of thing. And how shit scared you are, and how you still let them do it, and how proud you feel.

Flowers - of congratulation

Allthewaves · 21/06/2018 09:31

My friend got another friend to stalk her daughter the first couple of times (following in a car). So I get your panic

MrsJayy · 21/06/2018 09:32

Oh good luck to her I am sure she will be fine, and well done you for letting her do it you will be on pins till she contacts you Flowers

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 21/06/2018 09:35

Flowers Good to practise well in advance of September.

Leeds2 · 21/06/2018 09:37

Well Done to your DD for having the courage to do this, and to you for letting her. I hope all goes well, and bet she will feel really proud of herself this evening.

Original poster
Elusiveone · 21/06/2018 09:37

Thankyou everyone for your posts. Its been a very long road for dd but im pleased to read other peoples dc have been fine and assured me. I dont think i can do anymore now as even got her a bus pass so she wont have to fiddle about with change then she gets in a panic if shes lost any change. Ill keep you all updated on dd later Smile

OP posts:
SlowlyShrinking · 21/06/2018 09:38

You must be so proud of her! Hope everything goes smoothly

seventhgonickname · 21/06/2018 09:39

You should stop worrying and feel proud of her.Flowers

Original poster
Elusiveone · 21/06/2018 09:43

Very proud of her but wish i could stop worrying but i have anxiety so takes worrying to a different level. Smile

OP posts:
pointythings · 21/06/2018 09:47

I don't think it's possible for you to stop worrying given that you are her mum, but it's a big step. And when it has all gone well - because it will - you should both feel proud and happy and possibly eat chocolate or ice cream to celebrate. Congratulations on your milestone! Flowers

snewname · 21/06/2018 09:53

It's natural to be worried when a child takes a new big step. But we need to encourage them to be independent regardless.
I remember being a bit anxious the first time mine took a bus into town on their own. You are going through the same thing, just a bit later and a bit more intense because of her sn's.
You be unnatural if you weren't worried

AJPTaylor · 21/06/2018 09:56

the very best of luck to her. and well done DD for her determination to be independent.

KaliforniaDreamz · 21/06/2018 10:00

I feel for you OP. i hope she's fine and i am sure she will be. completely normal to worry. xxx

SlowlyShrinking · 21/06/2018 10:02

Natural for you to worry, but you’re obviously not allowing your anxiety to stop her becoming more independent Flowers

Loonoon · 21/06/2018 10:03

It’s a big step whatever age your DC goes through it. FWIW my DC used to love the bus journeys to school. It was a major part of their social lives (and as they were at a single sex school, their only chance to mix with BOYS!!!!)

SunnyCoco · 21/06/2018 10:05

Well done to her!
Everyone has their own battles and struggles and she is overcoming one of hers - it’s great
Of course it’s natural for you to worry but hopefully when today goes well you will both get more confident about it
Good luck x

wizzywig · 21/06/2018 10:06

Good luck op and dd! Let us know that she's made it there ok. Im a few years off this happening

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 21/06/2018 10:09

This is a lovely post, you've done a great job raising your daughter, and today is another achievement, on her life's journey. You must be really proud, but understandably apprehensive.
For you and your daughter. 🌺🌺⭐️