Feeling empty & numb

[namechanger44]

Does anyone ever feel numb and empty. I feel like this a lot and feel like I have to try extra hard to show affection or even any interest in my boyfriend. I can go from intensely into him so in love, getting matching tattoos and wanting to marry him to not even liking him very much. He says I blow hot and cold and can be distant which is hard for him. But I don't know why I'm like this.

I don't care about anyone's feelings like I really don't. Why? sometimes if I do something and I know I'm in the wrong or have upset my bf or anyone i don't feel bad. Is that normal?

I have to work really hard to maintain relationships I have one main friend and school mum friends who
I don't see out of term time.

I'm always bored and feel like there's more to life like I'm missing out on.

I don't have thoughts of self harm. But I do love a drink because it gives me a feeling of that makes sense

So I suppose my AIBU is aibu to think there's something wrong with me?

Do you have children? Do you feel that way about them?

No, I don't think not caring about anyone else's feelings is normal. Have you talked to anyone about this, a counselor or someone?

I have a 4 year old I love them yes of course but not sure it' because I know that's what mothers are meant to do. I would do anything for dc but I also have to work hard with them. I often take them out on big fun day trips and drives or buy them loads of things to make up for something I'm not sure what.