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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel lonely in a big city

7 replies

Coolcupof · 09/06/2018 19:09

Am 24, single. Have some spare time today so gone for a wander and a shop. I’ve bought some beautiful flowers and gone to coffee shops, bought.a new book, seen a friend for lunch... But feel a bit shit & empty. I’m normally ok with my own company but much prefer doing things with friends if I can. I can be very independent and have been (lived on my own, moved abroad on my own) but nothing matches up to having loved ones do stuff with you. Anyone else felt like this? Will it get better??

OP posts:
marjorie25 · 09/06/2018 19:14

Yes and no.
You have to put yourself out there.
I love my own company. I travel by myself, eat out, go to the movies, museums etc.
My friend said to me the other day: you know what, people always come up and speak to you and it's true.
If I want to go somewhere I never wait for H or any of my friends.
In fact I am going on a boat ride tomorrow all by myself and I am looking forward to it.
I am tired of asking people to go with me and being disappointed.
So put yourself out there and you will find friends

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 09/06/2018 19:20

It's actually worse in a big city. There's far too many people who look like they are all having fun.

Not all of them are.

Don't feel bad about it.

DaphneduWarrior · 09/06/2018 19:21

I’m in London and I feel the same. I’ve tried meetup, joining stuff, online dating and I’m horribly lonely. I’ve been here since I was 25 and I can’t take anymore. Making plans to move somewhere smaller in the hope of finding some friends. It’s really hard OP.

Coolcupof · 09/06/2018 19:21

Oh I do!

Great advice but I do. I always initiate things (I do get invited out but I always say oh anyone fancy the pub tonight/quick drink/going and seeing xyz...)

OP posts:
Coolcupof · 09/06/2018 19:21

Thanks, yes am in London too! X

Am a v sociable person, it is bloody hard!!!

OP posts:
Coolcupof · 09/06/2018 19:23

People also always talk to me - had a chat with the bookshop lady too, I go to parties and always hit it off with people, I date... my work can be a bit mental though so I always male the most of it when things calm down... But it is hard!

OP posts:
DeadGood · 09/06/2018 19:24

London is tough - everyone is busy just trying to get through day to day life. It’s big and congested and tiring.
Hang in there!

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