For wanting to do what I want for MY birthday

[whoopsfallenoveragain]

And invite who I want?
and not go by the list DH has made for me?
Just cos he is an unsociable git we all have to be

i'd tell him if he doesnt like ur plans then he can stay at home while u go out with ur mates

sorry thats not my usual name i changed it for my colour swap & just posted a msg there & forgot 2 change back

The problem is I want to have a bbq at home going into the evening but he doesn't want the house invaded by people he doesn't know and want to know

ooh sounds like me and dh although I'd just invite who I want and he'd get over it

No-its your birthday-thus you should get to choose!I have this nearly every year with my DH as his birthday is the day after mine, (but he is a year older).He always wants to go back to our home town for our birthday weekends and see old school friends and family, wheareas I would rather do something slightly more fabulous..so now we have to take it in turns, one year his way, one year my way...his years are dull as...

Your DH will probably enjoy it despite himself in the end anyway?

Tell DH he can stay inside "reading stories to the children" or finding some other valuable activity to occupy his time! You're allowed to socialise in your own home! He should trust your judgment as to the friends you invite.

Is it possible to close off areas of the house if you don't know people terribly well, i.e - the kitchen and bathroom are off the hall and people are allowed to mill about there but you keep the door to the sitting room closed? No one goes upstairs? etc? He might feel more comfortable with that as a compromise.

We have introduced a rule in our family, the birthday girl or boy gets to decide how to spend the day.

Works great and no more arguments, and noone is allowed to moan about the other persons choice.

You're being totally reasonable!
I share my birthday with DS! Can't wait to share his Thomas the Tank Engine birthday in July!!!!!!!

Aw mate. YANBU. Come and stay at your mums and we'll paint your old town red.

My 21st was on sat, and my dp and mum decided to plan a whole 'surprise' thing, anyway, i managed to weedle out of them what was going to be happening before the event, and (thankgod) it all didnt happen.

one of the things was a surprise party.

i would hate that, and im not one of those people say the hate it, and secretly are overjoyed, i would actually hate it. i told them that they allready knew i have never ever wanted a surpise party, and if it happened i would be mortified and walk straight out the door

after all that i got massive guilt trips from both of them, saying i had ruined my surprise

well sorry!! its MY birthday, and its the one day i get to do what I actually want to

i sound like a moody ungrateful cow, i know, but for me, a birthday (ironically getting older) is the one day i like to act a bit like a child