To notify cms or would it be petty.

[walkingwithmyeyeswideshut]

Nc for this incase im outed.
Ex dp pays direct pay each month set by cms. It used to be our own agreement but after many times of Missed payment I contacted them. All been fine since.

Had a call from cms, saying he's applied for a variation due to travel which is average £10 a week in fuel. The lady was lovely and explained it wouldn't mean I don't get the whole £10 it's a percentage so means it goes down £1.10 a week.. She said that he seemed to think the whole amount would be deducted but it doesn't.
I'm not going to argue it as no need to and tbh he is that tight with money it obvious means more to him than his son does. Even though he chose to move so far away.
He gets the shared care element as has him 52 nights a year.., 2 night a fortnight . Well supposed to, and nothing else. He doesn't supply anything for DS when he's there in clothing or toiletries. I do. Which I have no issue with.

Now since Sept there has been 13 nights he hasn't gone when supposed to. So then means the shared care element should be removed.
I have all the texts of when he's gone on holiday or DS hasnt wanted to go.. He's a teen so has his say as he don't particularly get on with his new wife..
I've always just rolled over to everything he's done and wanted but I'm thinking about notifying them the fact that he don't go as much as he's said he does.
Would I BU to do this?

Cms would only go by what the court had ordered when my sister called about the exact same thing (so ex not having her d's as much as he was meant to) but they said they will only base it on the court order no matter what evidence my sister has.

We have no court order

I would.

It's not petty. This is money for your son. He should pay up because he's the father. If his son doesn't get on with his new wife that doesn't mean he should be quids in.
Means you should get more maintenance to cover more outgoings.

That's true.

Yup, absolutely.

He's enough of a bastard to have actually taken the time to contact CMS to try and make sure his son gets a tenner less from him.

So I'd absolutely tell them.

He wants to correct the figures eh? That's fine. You're sure his reasoning is that he wants to see things correct to the letter, not that he wants to try his hardest to reduce payments... because that would make him a cunt.

I'd correct them.

I’d tell them. It wouldn’t have killed him to suck up the travel costs if you’re paying for everything else. If he wants it exactly right I’d let him have it exactly right.

It's defo to line his pocket. Yes he travel is ten a week. But they only take a percentage so its 1.10 less to pay me
He's that tight everything he spends he writes Down. DS had a £350 school trip. He gave me £20 towards it..
But that's the only ' extra' he's ever given.
So yes definitely as he's pathetic..

He gave your son £20 towards his trip?

Fucking tell the CMS everything they want to know!

Tell CMS and tell him they asked you for information about overnights as he had been in contact with them.

DS heard me talk to my dp about it in the kitchen. And he came in and said. Wow all dad can buy with that is an ice cream.. Guess that's what I'm worth to him

Well also DS has decided to return to boxing which is every sat morning, so when there's a space. He will only go to his dad's from sat to sun fortnightly.. As his dad won't pick him up fri, return sat for boxing, wait the 90 mins and collect. So he'll have to just collect.
May wait till then to notify them.
. Arghhhh why do some dad's have to be so deadbeat. When theres men out there who would walk hot coals to do things for their kids.

Could you open up a dialogue with him. This could be a turning point in your relationship.

You message him to say that you have been notified of the reduction and you’re not going to kick up any fuss because you aceotnots reasonable. However it was well within our rights to tell the cms about the missed dates and that would have likely impacted on payments, but you won’t because seems petty.

Surely if he’s rarely having your son he’s not actually paying any travelling costs so shouldn’t be claiming them

As you have the evidence of this I would provide it and ask for a recalculation, he actually owes you more money

Don't be stupid highhorse. if the man had any interest in dialogue and turning their relationship around he would have stuck to their original agreement and not forced the OP to go to the CMS to force him to contribute to his own son's upbringing. Him going to them about the petrol money is a power play. The OP can and should push back.

He lives 30, miles away. So in theory it would be 60 mile round trip on the Fri. Then again on the Sunday. 120 miles each fortnight.
Even if he collects just the sat to sun it would be the same.

So he says it's 20 a fortnight in fuel.. Average at 10 a week. Which is the minimum cms will take into account..
But it don't reduce the claim by the full amount.

It's not amicable for ' being an adult discission' as his reply would be ' whatever'

Just like when I was in hospital last yr. Asked him to drop DS to my dad's. He said no as he don't like my dad.? I said we'll to end of his Rd then and watch him go in.. And after all he should step up being as I was in hospital and be thankful my dad could take time off, His reply was ' whatever'

Oh goodness, he sounds bloody awful

Did you do it?