To be pissed office by my friends double standards

[Cheeseplease73]

Very good friend knows that’s me & DP having loads of problems as talked to her about it in detail. Assumed that she’d keep it private but she didn’t and told her partner plus another friend.
Last week she told me that her & partner are doing ivf. As it goes I hadn’t said anything to anyone but 3 days later (and after clearly talking to her partner) sends me a ‘reminder’ text to say that her business is strictly private.
Aibu to feel pissed off by her text- she blabbed about my relationship to 2 other people but I am send reminders about her business.
It’s the tone of the text has upset me more than anything.

YANBU that would piss me off. Reply "Of COURSE I wouldn't say anything! What sort of a shitty friend talks about people's private business??"

Reply back that their are 2 sorts of friends, one of the keep the gob shut type and the other blabber mouths. You are the quiet friend.

That’s pissed OFF in my title and no pissed office Bloody autocorrect!!!

That is shit. And MN really opened my eyes to this kind of thing recently. I assumed when people tell their best mate a secret and make clear it's not to go any further, that it won't go any further. But many on here seem to think it's ok for the mate to tell their partner. It's really not.

YANBU. It’s horrible. I don’t think she was thinking, but just to make sure, reply with one of the excellent replies above^

Op did you tell her it was in strictest confidence? Sometimes you have to spell it out to people, which is what she's done.

I feel like texting to say ‘it’s a shame you didn’t show me the same courtesy’ but I won’t!!

Why won’t you?
I would

'I'd better cancel the full page notice in the daily mail then'

I'd literally text everyone in my phone but then again I'm a massive bitch

Say "of course, id never gossip about my friends personal problems they tell me in confidence. By the way, how come you told your boyfriend and Susan about my relationship issues?

@princess9891 I am tempted!! It’s the assumption that her life is more private (and thus important) than mine that’s irritated me I think.

I'd reply - 'No need to worry - I'll stay just as quiet about it as you always do with my private issues!'

Then tell her. She's not your boss. She has no control over you. You can put her straight on her behaviour without blabbing about her business.

Maybe she’s told someone else and they’ve been indiscreet. Some people might not get that someone else’s IVF isn’t something to share.

Tone is sometimes hard in texts etc. It sounds like she isn’t that great a friend anyway though.

I am tempted!! It’s the assumption that her life is more private (and thus important) than mine that’s irritated me I think.

That’s exactly what she’s saying. Please send her a reply that shows how rude this is.

I'd assume strictly private includes the 2 people she blabbed to

I would text back and say -

Yes, of course. The same level of privacy afforded to the info I trusted her with. Best of luck with your ivf.

@Princess9891

I'd literally text everyone in my phone but then again I'm a massive bitch

I admire those who own their bitchiness 🤣

I have no advice to offer, I'm afraid. I might be inclined to get a little dig in though.

“I won’t speak about your private business to others. Would be if you could do the same for me the next time we discuss mine.” That way you’re not attacking her. And you can see what she responds.

Oops would be great if you could ....

I'd reply - 'No need to worry - I'll stay just as quiet about it as you always do with my private issues!'

This ^

Virtuous passive aggressive....

"I'd no more dream of talking about your private business than you'd dream of talking about mine"

I tell my partner any of my friend's gossip 🙄

I think telling her that you feel aggreved here is ok

‘Don’t worry I wouldn’t dream of it, I know you told me in confidence. I have to be honest though, I really wish you hadnt told x and y about my stuff either, I didn’t realise I would need to remind you not to do that.’