Is this rude of colleagues?

[BlueRiviera]

So me and 3 colleagues were making coffees together and they were talking about going out for lunch.

I said that sounds good.

They then all went off to lunch and didn’t ask me.

One of them I actually consider a good friend and when I said I was a bit hurt, they said they’d done nothing wrong.

What exactly was the conversation during coffee? Did they include you in the discussion, or did you just assume you were invited and join in?

In general, I think it is a bit rude to talk about social events in groups where one person isn't invited, but it really depends on how this arose.

Yanbu. Rude of them! Wouldn't have killed them to ask you considering you were part of the conversation.

We were just all chatting the usual rubbish then one said ooh why don’t we go to x at lunch?

What?? That seems bizarrely rude! What exactly happened?!

When did you speak to your friend about it?

Very rude & mean of them! Maybe they assumed you would meet them there??

You told a friend that you were hurt and their response was "we've done nothing wrong" I am sorry but I definitely think you need to reconsider that friendship. At least he/she should have said "sorry you were offended but..." I would hate to think I had hurt a friend's feelings, even inadvertently.

It was on Thursday and then I only found out they’d gone today.

I mentioned it to friend ... as I’d rather just say something if I’m hurt rather than keep it to myself.

They just said that they don’t think they did anything wrong. Guess they aren’t really my friend.

Guess they aren’t really my friend

Yes, a poor show from someone who considers themselves a friend.

I thought that they'd all gone and left you standing there which would have been awful.

I take it you all went back to work after coffee break then they went at lunchtime. Presumably you had lunch with someone else if you didn't notice that they'd gone. Not so bad.

My two colleagues do this all the time and it’s really hurtful, particularly when it’s just the three of us in the office! The silly thing is i’m Not even bothered about going but it would be nice to be asked

Did they forget to ask you?