Don't want my children there

[Hausfullofgrls]

Ex husband has been dating a woman for about 2.5 years. He moved into her house 6-8 months ago. She seemed nice but quickly became extremely moody. Recently while I was there dropping off my girls (6&7, we split time 50/50), she was yelling at my ex, in front of everyone, about leaving a coffee cup in the bathroom. So that's just one example of her attitude. Anyway, they broke up yesterday, apparently she caused a huge fight in front of the kids and kicked my ex and my girls out of her house. I don't care what happens in their relationship, but AIBU to not want my children at her house anymore? I don't think she's thinking about the kids at all. She's being very selfish, imo. I told my ex I would keep the kids as long as necessary (they're staying at his moms rn), but I do not want them with her again. AIBU? My blood is boiling, tbh.

Well it’s not really an issue if they’ve split up is it?

@BuggerLumpsAnnoyed I'm worried that they're going to try to get back together. She said she wanted to "think about things".

Why would your children go to her house if she is no longer with your ex husband?

She kicked your children out of her house? You are definitely not being unreasonable and I would be livid. That’s appalling behaviour. If they do get back together then I would try and have a mature, calm conversation with your ex about how it is not in the girls’ best interest to spend time there. If he’s on board then it’s far more likely to actually happen, as otherwise you may struggle to insist on it when it’s his contact time.

The OP is obviously talking about if they get back together. A lot of couples have that kind of volatile on-off relationship.

I agree with keeping the kids away from it.

Oh for God's sake clearly OP is talking about if they get back together.

To clarify- ex husband kind of made it seem like they are on a break, she wants to "think about things". I am concerned that they are not making a stable environment for my kids (or hers!) to be in. They shouldn't have to be around constant fighting or have to suddenly leave on a school night and go sleep at grandma's. If they want to be a family, they need to act like one. She's being very selfish, yeah?

Of course she's being selfish. But so is your Ex if he goes back and expects his children to have to go there.

What's his mum's view?

@LineyHasntLeftTheBuilding She's in agreement with me. She's seen many mood swings from the girlfriend too. She's been very involved with our kids since they were born, and knows this isn't a good situation for them. We are hoping he makes the best decision for the kids, but we can't tell him what to do.

If his mum is backing you up, you're in a good position though. Especially as you're in the right anyway.

Where's he living now? With his mum? Will she tell him her thoughts?

@LineyHasntLeftTheBuilding Yes, he's staying at his mom's house while he figures out his next move. She will tell him why she thinks, of course, but it's up to him. If he gets back with her, I want her in therapy. Or something. My kids deserve a stable household. If she can't do that, she doesn't need to be around them.

YANBU if they get back together I would just say she has a strong temper and I don’t want her anyway near the children in case they accidentally do something that she feels is wrong and she kicks off at them, it's not healthy for kids to see this

If he’s living at hers with your kids, she’s probably woken up to him being the cocklodger he appears to be from what you’ve written.

Just talked to him, seems it's all over and he's going to be moving out ASAP. Kids will stay with me/grandma until he is settled. Phew. I was just so worried about my kids.

It's really a relief that everything turned out to be that way! But if they'll be together again, if I were you I'd never bring my children anywhere close to her anymore! What a behavior...

I'm not saying you were wrong to be worried, but 'I want her in therapy' is massively overstepping the mark here. He lives (lived) in her house. They had a fight and she wanted him to leave. Obviously (and unfortunately) the kids go with him in those circumstances.