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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Present opening ceremony

32 replies

Skinnyboneylittlepony · 24/04/2018 09:20

I bumped into someone I went to school with the other day. Not close friends but got on well enough so it was a nice surprise. We were on the high street and she lives a 2 min walk away, so she invited me for a cup of tea.

Her DD had been Christened that weekend and now it was the Tuesday. On the coffee table were unopened gifts.

While I was there she decided to start opening them and I had to join in at coping over dresses and admiring silver spoons. She also counted out the money from cards.

As an aside, she has done well for herself financially but I’ve ‘fallen on hard times’. I’m sure she knows ‘from the grapevine’ as we have mutual friends. Also I was not invited to the christening and would not expect to have been.

AIBU to have found the present opening really bizarre?

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 24/04/2018 09:24

Absolutley random as hell that !!
Why choose that moment ? Was she waiting for an audience ??

If that was me I'd have just said ah there from dc christening last weekend and carried on with our cup of tea and chat

Why weren't they already open tho
Who / what was she waiting for ? Clearly not her dp or other family though if she opened them with you

Arghh so many questions 😂😂
The mind boggles Confused

BuntyII · 24/04/2018 09:25

Maybe she just thought it would be nice to have a look at the gifts with a friend there?

clumsyduck · 24/04/2018 09:29

Id have found it so awkward though. Close friend - totally different but an old school pal you barely see ?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 24/04/2018 09:31

It wasnt a "ceromony" there wasnt an invite, indeed she wasn't even expecting you to be there at all she bumped in to you as much as you bumped in to her.

It was prehaos a little rude to start opening them in front of you instead of enjoying a nice chat and catch up but it wasnt a ceremony.

Original poster
Skinnyboneylittlepony · 24/04/2018 09:34

Naught - ‘ceremony’ was a tongue in cheek turn of phrases. You may encounter that every now and then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Skinnyboneylittlepony · 24/04/2018 09:37

clumsyduck

The only thing I can think of is that someone else was responsible for collecting the presents at the party and had only dropped them round that morning and she hadn’t had time to open them. But still, I would have provided some kind of explanation

OP posts:
Original poster
Skinnyboneylittlepony · 24/04/2018 09:41

*turn of phrase

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 24/04/2018 09:47

Yeh me too I just find it a bit strange , like you just had to sit there and watch her open them like I say if it was a close friend then It would be totally different

HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 24/04/2018 09:53

I agree it's weird, why on earth choose that moment?

pigmcpigface · 24/04/2018 09:55

Oh my God, that's really insensitive behaviour - it's basically deliberately showing off in a "look what I've got" kind of a way. The fact that she may know your circumstances are straitened makes it worse. She sounds like one of Jane Austen's self-obsessed baddies!!

ScreamingValenta · 24/04/2018 09:58

It's a bit strange. Is she still with her DD's father? I'd have expected the gifts to be opened with him, if they're together, not a seldom-seen friend.

Slartybartfast · 24/04/2018 10:01

what a show off, just shows, money doesnt buy everything

Fairenuff · 24/04/2018 10:05

Some people are socially awkward and find 1-1 conversation and eye contact difficult. Maybe this gave her something to focus on whilst you were chatting.

UpstartCrow · 24/04/2018 10:06

Yanbu, that was sad. Imagine being that desperate, she must spend all day planning little treats for herself that involve getting one over on other people.

Original poster
Skinnyboneylittlepony · 24/04/2018 14:28

She is still with her husband. Most of the things were in gift bags, so I don’t think there was actual unwrapping. Thinking about it, her DH May have already seen them and this was just opening them again !?!

OP posts:
CircleofWillis · 24/04/2018 14:54

Am I the only person who would have actually have enjoyed this? I loved the fact that my sister and her husband opened their wedding gifts when I was there. (I dropped the ceremony gifts off after the honeymoon.)

MoistCantaloupe · 24/04/2018 14:57

That is ridiculously weird. Sounds like she was just showing off. I too, would have felt really uncomfortable.

youngnomore · 24/04/2018 15:00

Apart from the money part. Which I would just place aside and open later. The rest I would be fine with.

Original poster
Skinnyboneylittlepony · 24/04/2018 20:54

CircleofWillis

The key difference is that it’s your sister. Not a random.

OP posts:
CircleofWillis · 25/04/2018 00:08

I wouldn't mind a random either. I always hate handing over parcels to neighbours. I think that if I have taken them in I for them I should at least be able to see what's in the damn package!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/04/2018 00:20

Weird

SparklyLeprechaun · 25/04/2018 00:21

I think I would have enjoyed it as well, I like opening presents. I don't see it as showing off.

theveryhighlife · 25/04/2018 00:45

I agree with fairenuff perhaps she's just a bit socially awkward and needed to be doing something.
I'm sure there was no malice intended. Do you think you could have been feeling a bit sensitive about your own situation? I hope things ease up for you.

ScreamingValenta · 25/04/2018 07:10

Thinking about it, her DH May have already seen them and this was just opening them again !?!

Was she behaving as though she was seeing them for the first time (or did she say this?) Do you think she might have been showing you the gifts rather than opening them in front of you? Showing you the gifts is slightly less odd, if it was in the spirit of 'look at all the lovely things people gave my DD' - this could just have been a way of keeping conversation going with someone she no longer knew well.

pigmcpigface · 25/04/2018 07:30

I think the key piece of information people are missing in their violent urge to contradict the OP is that this woman knows the OP has fallen on hard times. When you know someone's circumstances aren't great, you don't flaunt wealth or possessions in front of them. Basic decency, really.