Is this weird? AIBU?

[friendshipangst]

Texting friend today, asked her and her partner over to dinner for Thai food. No reply. Later, I get a group text asking me over for Thai food at theirs with some others I don't know. I think it slightly odd that she's asking everyone over using the same food idea, but fine. Then a bunch of people on the chat start saying they will bring weed. Again, fine if that's what they want to do, but I'm not interested because it would compromise my job.

So i just replied saying thanks but I'm busy.

AIBU in feeling slightly annoyed? I'm not sure why I'm slightly annoyed. They're free to have everyone for dinner and cook whatever they want, of course, but something rankles. And I can't even go because of the weed aspect.

Would you think it a bit odd?

Bumping...

Definitely strange. Does she have form for this?

A bit strange I agree. Would have eye-rolled when their invite came but nothing you can do or say though. Hope you enjoyed your Thai (at home) .

Definately weird. Maybe she was already on the weed .
If she had already made plans to meet up with others she should have texted you that before the group message. All very strange, especially the same food choice. Is she normally normal?

Thanks for the perspectives. Glad I'm not alone thinking it a bit odd! Not a big deal though obviously, I know.

Whining about it on mumsnet is helping me get over my annoyance though

I’m guessing your message made her think she wants Thai food, then she gets a bit high, forgets why she’s thinking about Thai food but is hungry and wants to get more high and eat nice takeaway..

No, she's got no previous form for weirdness!

She's not smoking weed either. It was one of the others saying they'd bring over some to smoke blunts and make hash brownies for dessert, to try to be healthy by not using tobacco. Everyone seemed to enjoy this idea and agreed to do it.

Are they adults? Or teenagers?

Trying to go one up on the meal is a bit immature. Chatting about bringing weed round sounds like a bunch of 16/17yo's trying to be cool in the WhatsApp

I wouldn't want to be friends with any of them tbh.

I don't think it's odd.

I think she just wanted to have a bigger get-together than you and her at yours.

Quite possibly rude tho. She's made it clear that you are not the priority.

All functioning adults!

I don't really know the chap who is supposed to be bringing weed, only met him at a Christmas party and he seemed fine. But I don't really know him at all.

"Quite possibly rude tho. She's made it clear that you are not the priority."

This feels like a good explanation of why I feel a bit annoyed.

I suspect it is all about the weed and she probably knows you are not that interested: quote 'smoke blunts and make hash brownies for dessert, to try to be healthy by not using tobacco'; FFS! Don't take it personal they just want their 'alternative health plan' without a non-participant. Her priority is her 'alternative health party'.

PS. They sound about 15 years old.

Definitely odd. Good for you for saying no to the weed, that is a mug’s game.

Texts do occasionally go astray. Might she just not have got your first text?

Maybe the text did get overlooked. Though not likely as we have iPhones where it says text is delivered and read.

Get rid of the weed friends- they are no good for anyone.

sounds like a shit friend - fuck her offf

She could have got your text and this happened:

'Ooh Thai food! Darling, FriendshipAngst has invited us over for Thai next week.'

'Great, I bloody love Thai food! Are X, Y and Z coming too?'

'I don't know.'

'We've not seen all those guys for ages. Isn't it our turn to have them round? How about we invite them all over here instead? We've got the space and it would be lovely to see them all and FriendshipAngst.'

'Great idea! I'll send a WhatsApp to the group now.'

It's very odd to completely ignore your text and just send a similar invite back.

I'd have probably replied "oh that's odd, I sent you a text earlier inviting you for Thai here, but you must have missed it. Enjoy your evening but we've planned to cook here now so maybe we can catch up another time."

The weed is a worry though, especially if it compromises your job, so I'd be wary of further meet ups unless you can be sure there'll be no weed there.

They sound like a bunch of nobs I'd stay away...for life.

All functioning adults!

That they may be, but they are not functioning at a level i would want to be at!

Thanks, all!

My mate and her BF are very nice people generally, but I feel this was just a bit thoughtless. I think it's that she was slightly careless with my feelings, and that is a little hurtful.

There's been quite a few other small thoughtless things before. But, lots of good times too!

They don't normally smoke weed or anything like that so that's never been an issue before.

I do know this isn't a massive problem to be whining about, and I'm not upset or anything!

"She could have got your text and this happened:"

Or not....

Yes. Weird.