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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

combating porn

32 replies

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 08/03/2018 20:04

every now and then i think long and hard about ways in which the world could be a better place. in this fantasy land there is no porn use.
this morning i read this article and thought maybe there is hope.
fightthenewdrug.org/kansas-city-royals-and-fight-the-new-drug/

short version; a major sports team is talking about the harmful effects of porn and educating it's members!!!

OP posts:
DalekDalekDalek · 08/03/2018 20:14
Hmm

What is wrong with porn? As long as it only involves adults and is only viewed by adults, who cares?

Are single people not allowed orgasms?

Seems like I have woken up in 1818 instead of 2018!

sillage · 08/03/2018 20:20

"As long as it only involves adults and is only viewed by adults"

And if porn commonly exploited underage teenagers and was widely viewed by children as per the current reality, what would you do then?

Rawhh · 08/03/2018 20:21

Would you like a ladder to get off your high horse or cab you jump back down on your own where consenting adults view porn without harmful effects.

Yes - we should restrict access to under 18s but we also need to educate mid to late teenagers so that they know what 'normal sex' is and don't think you have jizz on a womans face whilst she fists your arse in order to get off.

Birdsgottafly · 08/03/2018 20:21

It isn't Porn that's the problem, but the Porn industry.

Taking about how damaging the overuse of porn is to a relationship, is a good thing.

It's something we need to address with our Teens.

"Are single people not allowed orgasms?"

In research done, it was found that people had better orgasms and more often, to music, which doesn't have any negative effects.

Mumao · 08/03/2018 20:24

And some people in the porn that you are watching aren’t consenting.

I used to watch porn but have done a lot of research and decided not to watch it any longer... I read erotica now!

CaMePlaitPas · 08/03/2018 20:24

I'd rather the US concentrate on combating guns and implementing gun control...

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 08/03/2018 20:26

Porn isn't wrong in and of itself. There's nothing wrong with consenting adults engaging in porn or watching porn.

The problem is, is often IS exploitative. We need to have honest and straightforward discussions about how to ensure that those engaging in porn ARE consenting adults.

We also need to be educating kids about porn so that they're growing up with healthy attitudes about sex, consent, boundaries and intimacy.

We also need to be sure that those who make porn are fairly paid for their work. The rise of free porn sites has massively disenfranchised those who star in porn (usually women). Free porn sites are also not doing enough to ensure they're only hosting videos where all participants are consenting adults.

Basically - porn is fine, adults can do what they like. But it should be regulated to protect participants, fairly paid, and a topic kids are properly educated about.

Unicornchaser · 08/03/2018 20:28

I mostly agree with Dalek, porn doesn't have to be a taboo or a bad thing. Surely if it's adults making it and watching it then no harm no foul. I personally don't mind if dh watches it on occasion and don't think it has any negative impact on our relationship.

Agree something really needs to be done to stop production of child porn and pedophiles watching it but don't that's a whole other issue in itself!

sillage · 08/03/2018 20:33

Speaking of honest and straightforward discussion, in my Hotmail (early 2000s) account I made a folder to put the porn spam that came unsolicited into my inbox. Here's a sampling

My mom sucked my penis and i liked it
ce urinating pussy pics/movies
nude pictures of my little sis jenny
Thirsty for cum
young & doing it for the 1st time
this cutey spread her legs wide open for us
Hardcore Honeys
It Was Bloody
tiny chicks huge dicks
Crazy Girls MAKE it fit..
Cum Swallowing Blondes
Booty shakin ho's
Jizz guzzlers
why get a pro, get a first timer
Hidden shower cams
Small town sluts
Tight hot teens K
Filthy animal love
Humping my leg
Girls getting fingered
100%free H0rnY eboNy girLs
Petite women try to handle these MonsTer C0ck...
Tight hot teens J
Watch Me Pickup My Friends Mom And Screw Her ...
Watch How I get My Friends Mom To Suck On My ...
-Riding and blowing big Dicks for the first ti...
bathroom cameras
silicone fantasy
B!g T!tty BL0nde Wh0re
Completely free dirty teens s
Where the D!ck G0es
More pussy than u can shake a dick at.. 3k
Twins Get..Fucked...Hard..
Blonde...Hardcore models get Slammed..
teenagers with little B cups
Make Her Choke On Your Huge Knob
Watch These Sloppy Teen Girls Get It All Over
Check Out These Amateur Teen Sl-uts Begging F...
Check Out These Sleeping Teen Girls Being Scr...
women in heat
nude teen stars
Stupid...Blondes get slapped..in the Ass...
chicks face looks like a glazed donut
Seduced....Blondes get Abused
wild lolitas
Watch These Sloppy Teen Girls Get It All Over
naughty schoolgirls
s e e these hoes take it deep
Check Out These Amateur Teen Sluts Begging F...
Watch These Hidden Shower Cams Of Hot College...
Blonde strippers
Drunk..College girls..get taken..Advange off....
Hot Teen Lesbian Threesomes After Mom Leaves
th>ese frea'ks >do anyt\hing
,Dirty,Amateurs,
Nasty ButtSluts take it in the Ass!
Shocking hole stretching
AdV...Mature Blondes..sucking.
You get to see this girl have a dickSlurpee
Bend over my pretty wife for no money Jm ...
Make Her Bleed After You Smack Her Coc-kpit W...
Watch These Sloppy Teen Girls Get It All Over
Nasty..Asian Teens..bent Over..
DEsperate..Mature Blondes..do anything..
Mature..Panty HOs..
Blonde..Hos Getting..Nasty.
Big..Tits on..Hot Blonde..

So, let's talk.

Winebottle · 08/03/2018 20:43

I do think porn can have damaging effects but there is very little that can be done about it.

Campaigns won't be effective because people will do what they want in their bedrooms regardless. Most men in the link probably went home and watched after "taking their stand".

It is too difficult for government to censor the internet, even if they wanted to.

If porn making porn was clamped down on in the US, there would still me thousands of videos coming from the rest of the world where the protections for participants would be less.

PinkChestnut · 08/03/2018 20:44

If porn still had the innocence of the likes of the Joy of Sex books/magazines in a loft etc or was actually people engaging in equally pleasing sex, I would agree that it's fine between consenting adults (though when you step back and think about it it is quite a weird concept IMO)

However it's not. It pushes the boundaries constantly and as others have said before both here and in other threads the violence and abuse and "legal paedophilia and incest"(where young 18 year olds dress younger with teddies etc) pushing is getting worse all the time. There is no control over the majority of it. Children are consuming it and trying to copy it in alot of cases (child on child sexual abuse has increased massively as per news reports a few months ago)

I agree with you OP the world would be alot better if it wasn't around.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 08/03/2018 20:46

It's the parents' responsibility to police children's internet use. Adults can watch what they like and it's none of your business

FellOutOfBed2wice · 08/03/2018 20:50

I’m with Fugitivefrombrusstice. I try not to get involved in these conversations on Mumsnet because I used to work in porn (I wasn’t in the films!) and don’t think it’s a problem in of itself. But when I worked in the industry it was at an independent publishers who championed ethical porn and were interested in promoting films, pictures and erotica produced by women (that was my first job there, writing the stories!) Sadly they were put out of business in the early 00s by the coming of free porn on every corner of the Internet.

People will always want pornography- it’s as old as humanity itself. You won’t change that and I don’t think you should want to, but yes I do agree that in it’s curent poorly paid, often exploitive form it’s not great for the culture, the mental health or the sexuality of our society.

SnibbleAgain · 08/03/2018 21:05

Who are these single people who can't have an orgasm without watching porn? I feel very sorry for them.

SnibbleAgain · 08/03/2018 21:06

Christ that list! And that was nearly 20 years ago...

Mainstream porn is on the whole racist and extraordinarily misogynistic.

piratequeenio · 08/03/2018 21:09

Live and let live.

Yes SOME porn is exploitative so try and avoid.

But then so is Primark et al but we don't call to ban all fashion outlets, do we?

Lots of adults enjoy porn and it doesn't have any negative effect on their sex life - it can enhance.

So YANBU to not like it yourself but YABU to want to ban it.

WineGummyBear · 08/03/2018 21:24

Agree with pinkchestnut

If it was ethically produced, only available to adults and didn't cause harm that would all be fine.

But it's not. It's a proliferation of material celebrating the extreme degradation and abuse of women. And it's easier for children to access than Dawson's Creek on all4. FFS.

Namebot · 08/03/2018 21:32

m.youtube.com/watch?v=_YpHNImNsx8

Gail Dines delivers an interesting TED talk on why porn is something to be concerned about - particularly about the porn culture associated with it.

And yes consenting adults blah blah - but the reality of the porn industry now is truly horrific.

Rachie1973 · 08/03/2018 21:36

Big..Tits on..Hot Blonde..

So, let's talk

Not their best work.

Sorry. I couldn't resist

Original poster
Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 08/03/2018 22:21

but the sports industry is saying IT DOES affect;
physical performance, mental health and interpersonal relationships
so those saying no big deal it actually does seem to be.
and this is an adult team. well done to the royals and hopefully it spreads to all sports and all sports teams.
if this message went out to all the young football and soccer players it would reach a lot of young people.

OP posts:
Grasslands · 07/09/2018 01:23

fightthenewdrug.org/kansas-city-royals-and-fight-the-new-drug/

i posted this before.
a sports team is saying it is bad for their players and bad for the young fellows who watch porn.

men telling other younger men that it's not cool. eventually the slower lot will get the message.

PhilomenaCunks · 07/09/2018 04:45

Probably worth noting that "Fight The New Drug" is heavily tied to the Mormon church, who have, to put it mildly, outdated views on sexuality. The "science" behind a lot of their claims is lacking, too.

SallySideEye · 07/09/2018 05:13

Porn has always been there. Romans were carving into the walls in Pompeii 2000 yrs ago. It's more plastic now of course but basically the same thing.

Hannahmates · 07/09/2018 06:11

I think the problem is not with porn but with the industry. The way they treat women is awful and there's a lot of violence in porn. It's disgusting and it sends a wrong message to teens and men. There are a couple of porn stars who spoke up their horrific treatment in the industry and it was heartbreaking to read.

PositiveVibez · 07/09/2018 07:20

No woman aspires to be a porn star when they are younger.

Their vulnerabilities are exploited in the worst way possible.

How many female porn stars committed suicide last year? I remember 3 that were publicised in the national press.

If you can detach from the reality of watching women being exploited, financially and sexually, so you can get your rocks off, then great.

I couldn't. And the world would be a better place without it.