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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex refusing to come and see DC!!

20 replies

donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:15

That would be fine except he insist I take them to him instead and he just won't stop bullying me.

We have a CAO which does state i take them to him (as he lied his head off) but to do this it would cost me £200 in train fares, and he says he wants them overnight but they don't want to stay overnight, they don't even want to see him for the day really.

He is taking me back to court - i have repeatedly suggested he come here to see them as per their wishes but he says he doesn't care what they want the court order says i take them to him so ......

OP posts:
Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:15

They are young teenagers BTW so perfectly able to make their own decisions plus they just want to see friends not him (or me).

OP posts:
DeathStare · 25/02/2018 14:17

If that's what the CAO says then I think you are pretty tied. Sorry. Taking it back to Court sounds like the best thing all round.

Flutterbyeee · 25/02/2018 14:18

Why did you agree to the order? Judge took my personal circumstances on board.

CoffeenoTea · 25/02/2018 14:18

How old are the kids? what lies did he tell? can your prove the truth?

VimFuego101 · 25/02/2018 14:19

Has he moved since the order was made? I think you need legal advice if you don't want to continue to take them to him (as unfair as it is that you have to cover the cost). I would tell him you're happy to bring them to him but ask if he'll cover the cost as you simply don't have the money. At least you're showing willing if he decides to pursue it further.

doesthislookoddtoyou · 25/02/2018 14:20

You can't force young teens on to a train even if you could afford it, which you can't. Any judge should see that.

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 25/02/2018 14:20

How old were the dc when the order was made? Rarely do judges make orders for teenagers.

Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:21

I didn't agree to the order at all - the judge ordered it.

He is just bullying me and the children.

OP posts:
Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:23

He told the court he had no money was sleeping on his Dads sofa had no car etc and that he lived 6 hours away.

In reality he lived one hour away (I have loads of threads on this) and was driving a range rover - had loads of money.

So in light of his patheticness judge ordered i take kids to him - even though i do all the childcare and have to work to financially support the children.

OP posts:
ColourfulOrangex · 25/02/2018 14:23

Didn't you post about this before? The care order I mean, sure I e read it, sorry if I'm wrong

I do think going back to court is the best thing as due to the CAO you could be in trouble for not following it as unfair as it seems

ColourfulOrangex · 25/02/2018 14:23

Sorry cross post OP

Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:23

I can't afford legal advise - thats the problem! He has barristers etc

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Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:24

I think it is better it is going back to court i suppose see what they say this time. but god it is sooooooo draining dealing with an abusive, bullying, unreasonable twat!!!

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Whocansay · 25/02/2018 14:26

Surely if they are young teenagers they a) don't have to go and can choose for themselves b) are perfectly able to get on a train by themselves. This would not seem to be an issue?

ColourfulOrangex · 25/02/2018 14:28

I refused to let my DC go to contact one weekend as it came to my knowledge that the dad and partner had physically hurt another of their children - pinned up against wall etc - he took me back to court and judge said I couldn't do that because of the CAO, it sucks because they manage to get away with everything.

The judge will now take into account what your children want as they are old enough so wouldn't cost much and you wouldn't need a barrister, not like you can force teenagers into a car

Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:33

It does shock me how little regard for children's care the courts have.

The train there involves 3 changes there is no way my two could manage it on their own.

They are also very resistant to going and don't see what he can't come here if he wants to see them. He has nowhere for them to stay except his GFs house who they hate and there were some issues i won't go into on here. But they really do not want to stay overnight.

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Original poster
donners312 · 25/02/2018 14:34

colorful - I can't believe judge ordered that! it's like they have no care for children at all. If you did stop though what would the judge do? In my case Ex is not in a position to have custody so at least judge can't threaten that.

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Handsfull13 · 25/02/2018 14:49

Can you can proof he isn't the distance away he claims. Like every time he tells you to bring them you ask him to confirm the address to take them to. Then when you go back to court you can show he isn't that far away.
He can't have them overnight if he's claiming to sleep on his dads sofa as he won't have anywhere for them.

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 25/02/2018 17:16

For a fiver dvla will send you proof of who is the registered keeper of a car. If he is registered as living with his df Google 192 can confirm that for a small fee, screen shot the results. Let it go back to court, build yourself a case!

ColourfulOrangex · 25/02/2018 20:38

The first time I stopped it they gave me a telling off and said not to do it again as it can be treated as contempt and I could be fined or arrested - pretty sure they say that more to scare you but I'm not sure

My son is counting down the years until the court will listen to him and he doesn't have to go Sad

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