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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take DS to this appointment?

29 replies

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 01:34

I woke up at 4am yesterday morning sick, and continued to be sick until about 9am. I've not thrown up since but still feel a bit achy.

DS1 is 7 and at half 8 he threw up all over the carpet and then fell asleep. He has been sick once more, just there at 1am, but only a very slight amount.

He isn't going to school tomorrow, that's a given. However we do have an appointment for his pre-op consultation for minor surgery. We've been waiting since October for this appointment to come through (his actual date is 2 weeks away), and if we cancel this pre-op we need to go to the bottom of the list again or wait on a cancellation.
Since we found out he's been asking almost weekly about it and, at times, getting himself in to a right panic about the whole thing to the point of lashing out and getting visibly upset.

Wibu to take him out very briefly, provided he hasn't been sick in a few hours, to have this check done in order to still go through with the surgery in 2 weeks?

Normally when he's sick it's a blanket ban on school, clubs etc but I feel stuck in this instance because we've been waiting so long for these appointments and he's been a nervous wreck about the whole thing. I don't want to delay it and cause any more stress for him but, equally, he has been sick.

OP posts:

sourpatchkid · 22/02/2018 01:43

I don't know, all I can think is that it's something contagious he's going to pass it to a load of other vulnerable kids and they'll get sick too. Is that really fair?

Original poster

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 01:45

I know and that's what's getting to me. What if someone else gets sick, although OH and DS2 have remained unharmed by the sickness (with ds2 being a baby).

Similarly if we don't go it could well be August/September time before we get seen to again; which means him being left in limbo and worrying for almost an entire year from start to finish.

OP posts:

frankie001 · 22/02/2018 01:45

I wouldn’t. If he passes it on then someone’s surgery may need to be cancelled.

Only1scoop · 22/02/2018 01:46

You can't take him to a hospital/medical centre patients might be there with compromised immunity.

A simple big passed on could be life threatening

Only1scoop · 22/02/2018 01:46

'Bug'

Original poster

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 01:47

If it makes any difference the pre-op isn't in the main hospital area, no contact with wards or the main body of staff/patients. It's in a building next to the hospital which is more of a general gp surgery/dentist/office block.

Probably doesn't help but he isn't trailing through the actual hospital itself.

OP posts:

VimFuego101 · 22/02/2018 01:49

If it was just him being sick I might put it down to something he'd eaten/ too much jumping about, but since you were also sick you know it's most likely to be a bug that could be passed on to others.

Only1scoop · 22/02/2018 01:50

But it's where patients go for pre ops....awaiting surgery

Not everyone is having a minor procedure.

Original poster

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 01:55

Vim I'm not even sure I had a bug. I'm currently suffering from a lot of food related issues but yesterday went out for a meal and at a lot of food that I'd never normally eat and, until DS was sick, it seemed more of a food related issue than an actual sickness bug.

I think DS problem is partially to do with nerves for tomorrow and (given what I've had to clean up), he hasn't actually chewed or digested his dinner properly. The boy literally eats a meal in about 2 minutes flat, despite numerous warnings he'll be sick if he does.
Since finding out the pre-op was tomorrow he has felt 'sick' all week (a headache one minute but then it's suddenly away and he's out to play; feels to sick to sleep etc). It's definitely nerves which makes me feel cruel about cancelling and prolonging.

I know it seems like I'm making excuses but I'd never normally have to face this situation.

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 01:56

Only1Scoop it's dental surgery. He'll be at the dentist.

OP posts:

worstwitch18 · 22/02/2018 02:02

I would ring and ask, be honest and say you're not sure if it's a bug or nerves, should he still come in?

Original poster

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 02:05

worstwitch that might be the best bet. I deliberately held off telling him for as long as possible because of how he can get and when I did tell him there was a full blown tantrum and then there has been tears/excises/illnesses each day since.

If he had to attend a ward or anything within the main body and around other sick kids I'd cancel. However, as it's dental surgery his pre-op is with the dentist as they need to do another xray and examine it all. He won't be near a gp surgery, other sick people etc.

OP posts:

Bowerbird5 · 22/02/2018 02:30

He could pass it on to dental staff though.
Ring and ask. They may be able to squeeze you in in a few days time instead under the circumstances.

Sleephead1 · 22/02/2018 06:44

op if I'm honest it sounds like a bug it's pretty unlikely you and him have both been sick but it's not a bug. if you pass it to the staff they could then pass to every other patient and then all those people may need appointment cancelled plus if all the staff are poorly they may have to cancel clinics. I know it's rubbish for you but it's not fair to infect other people some people may have other serious health issues and getting a bug could be very serious

showgirl · 22/02/2018 06:55

Pre ops are easily rebooked. Not having it today will not necessarily mean he can't have the surgery in 2 weeks. Making people sick could mean that the surgery is cancelled as the dental team have passed a sickness bug around each other. Potentially meaning that several patients have their surgery cancelled.

ZebraOwl · 22/02/2018 07:18

There will be some people attending the dental hospital with/because of serious health issues: there are various [genetic] conditions that can feature dental issues &/or require anything beyond the most basic check-up - sometimes even those - to be done there, for example. Not always going to be obvious who vulnerable people are, either.

Call them & see what they advise. If they say not to bring him, ask if you can be given the next available appointment - if you can accept a cancellation, say so.

Has your DS had surgery before, or is the anxiety over it all being unknown? It's worth mentioning how stressed he is - the hospital might have a Coming Into Hospital leaflet they could stick in with his next letter.

Only1scoop · 22/02/2018 07:46

I don't think the dental staff will welcome a patient still in bug window....

Also I can't imagine it will be put back 6 months. They will just reschedule the pre op surely.

PerfumeIsAMessage · 22/02/2018 07:49

Ring them and tell them the truth.

I imagine they'll reschedule the appointment.

I doubt it will be in 6 mths time.

PerfumeIsAMessage · 22/02/2018 07:51

Oh, and the fact that two members of the same family are vomiting would suggest it's very probably a bug that could be passed on.

littleducks · 22/02/2018 07:58

I would phone them to and ask. Think they may still ask you to come in (though I think they prob shouldn't)

Fattymcfaterson · 22/02/2018 08:08

Please don't take him, you run the risk of making someone seriously ill

Fintress · 22/02/2018 08:11

Phone and reschedule, it shouldn't postpone the op. I've done this in the past as I had conflicting appointments the same day and it wasn't an issue.

elliejjtiny · 22/02/2018 08:18

Please don't. I know how frustrating it is, I've got a 4 year old who has had to have operations cancelled because he is not well but it's just not worth the risk. If you phone and explain, hopefully they will be able to reschedule his pre op so his surgery can still go ahead as planned.

Original poster

sailorcherries · 22/02/2018 09:17

I phoned at 8am this morning (latest time we could go before not making the appointment anyway).

They asked for all the details and said he could still come in. He hasn't been sick since 1am and seems fine this morning; no temperature, no aches or chills etc and otherwise seems fine if not slightly tired.

They attributed it to anxiety (he recieved therapy after finding out about the need for an op) and only advised we cancel if he was sick in the mean time.

Knowing him and how he gets when he is ill it doesn't seem the same iykwim? I do believe anxiety and rushed food were to blame.
I'm also right as rain today, and do believe it was causes by various gastrointestinal issues I've been going through.

I know people may not agree but if they had said no and to cancel then we would have. So far there's no one else in the dentist waiting room so we can hopefully be in and out with minimal interactions.

OP posts:

PositivelyPERF · 22/02/2018 09:23

Did you let them know that you had been sick too, OP?

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