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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hair cut indecisions

28 replies

FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 16:11

Yes this is so beyond trivial but Im literally just lightheartedl| throwing this out there to get feedback and also if anyone wanted to give me any suggestions or post pics I'd be so happy and grateful... I am overweight and short and my face is chubby and round. I love and always have loved changing up my hair. I've had it every colour and length up till 3 years ago when I took notice of a flippant comment paseed in my
Company about short hair not doing anything for a woman with a fat face . Let me be clear this is a self esteem issue and I'm no way saying women with full faces can't carry off short styles. I love crazy short styles and mad vibrant colours. I've also been every weight from underweight to very overweight during all these styles. I can't find anything that particularly stands out when I Google short styles and I don't want to look stupid or get something I can't really pull off. I'm not sure if I should brave it out and go do something wild or else stay with the grown out long hair in black and play safe. Aibu in my thoughts?please don't be rude or offensive I'm just thinking out loud and looking for different perspectives

OP posts:
JuneBuggy · 17/02/2018 16:13

Do what you want - it’s your hair. Sod what anyone else thinks Smile

Mouthfulofquiz · 17/02/2018 16:16

I agree - you must do what you want with your own hair. If you love changing it up and being brave with it then carry on!

UpstartCrow · 17/02/2018 16:18

That comment was designed to flatten your self confidence and it sounds like it worked. What an awful thing to do to someone, its just bullying.

Fuck that, I'd be going into work with different hair every week and a selection of hats.

falsepriest · 17/02/2018 16:23

It can only grow back, go mad.

Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 16:34

I have to admit I was really nervous posting and assumed I'd be savaged perhaps but those replies have eased the nerves somewhat. Please don't get me wrong I love when women or men of any size do what they want regards fashion,make up,hair etc. I used to be the very same but I think my sense of self esteem has just hit rock bottom the past few years because of several things and my hair had always in the past been a way of expression if ya get me. I never ever considered that a woman's figure was made more obvious by a hair cut but when I heard this remark I suddenly thought "omg do I look ridiculous".. I understand it's more my issues that are now underlying and like I said I'm really just thinking out loud but surely there can't be a thing that fatter faces don't suit short hair,or is there??? I never asked anyone until today... thanks for the understanding,it's very appreciated

OP posts:
Sirzy · 17/02/2018 16:37

Do you have a hairdresser you trust? I have changed my style drastically in the last year but I trust my hairdresser so it made it an easier decision.

Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 16:54

No that's part of the problem. I've had several changes in my life the past few years,not to be blethering on but like a medical diagnosis, significant weight gain,moving to an isolated area so I'm far from my normal town that my hairdresser lives in. I have found a mobile hairdresser that will come out to where I live but I don't know much about her. She seems fine in the messages. I guess I'm just wondering is it an actual opinion that fatter faces can't pull of short styles. Years ago I'd have said fuck what anyone thinks it's my hair but nowadays I seem overly meek in my mindset...I don't even know if I'm getting my thoughts across properly,I don't have anyone to bounce my thoughts off so thought here would be the perfect place. I appreciate any replies

OP posts:
mumpoints · 17/02/2018 16:57

There used to be an app where you could upload your picture and try different colours and styles. (Says she who has had the same bob for 30 years Blush)

Sirzy · 17/02/2018 16:59

When I was fatter (I have lost 7 stone so was very much in the obese side) then short hair looked wrong on me. That doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone though.

And as you said hair will grow so even if your not keen it doesn’t matter too much?

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 17/02/2018 16:59

How long is your hair at the moment OP to give an idea of how long/short a style to recommend?

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 17/02/2018 17:00

is this too long?

Hair cut indecisions
TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 17/02/2018 17:03

I don’t think fat / thin really is the issue. It’s about face shap, neck, bone structure etc. There are some stunning plus size models with short hair. I think saying those who wear dress size X and under suit short hair while anything bigger doesn’t would be a massive oversimplification. Lots of thin people probably don’t suit short hair and lots of plus size people probably do.

Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 17:09

My hair is under shoulder length right now and jet black. I'll show you what I've literally just found altho I think one of the posters here is spot on. I have very obvious bone structure when I'm at a lower weight but not now and maybe this cut needs said structure to look really fab? But I'm in two minds depending on the humour. One moment i say feck it it's my hair I don't care then another says oh lord I may go buy hats to hide my abomination till it grows abut hahah

OP posts:
Deux · 17/02/2018 17:10

I think the thing about hair styles is getting one that flatters your face shape. Whether that’s a long style or short.

Have a google of short hairstyles for round faces and there’s loads of options. You could get a stand out colour that compliments your skin tone too. And a great lipstick and you’re good to go and looking and feeling great.

My hair is jaw length right now and I’m getting it chopped off soon as it’s just too ‘meh’.

Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 17:11

These images always look brilliant till you realise you don't look like the model right😂 also I'm a first time poster of a subject so I'm not sure how to respond to ppl individually sorry

Hair cut indecisions
OP posts:
TrustNaeFuckerEver · 17/02/2018 17:22

I had a similar haircut to that one a few years ago OP and the dangly fringe drove me mad. I ended up pinning it to one side which ruined the effect Sad

Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 17:26

I think I may go back to the drawing board..I'd probably be the very same.. it looks good in theory but not very practical probably. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Chilver · 17/02/2018 17:28

I am literally having the same dilemma right now. I have long hair however due to work and life I have realised I literally wear it pulled back in a clip every day and never even blow dry it anymore, let alone style it and wear it down. So just have thought about cutting it to an A line pixie crop to make life easier. However, even thought I've had VERY short hair before and it really suited me (literally bald to Buzz cut grow out due to chemo), I was 8kgs lighter then so am worried short won't suit me now!! Have appointment booked for cut for the night before my birthday....... eeek....

Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 17:38

Chilver it sound like such a simple thing and years ago I gave no fucks,shaved,Mohawk,several colours etc but just now with the weight and dip in confidence I'm kinda questioning whether it's a bad move or not and also disgustingly considering what others will think of me..I'm the same. It's either boringly down or boringly tied up...there's no life or anything to it.it's plain and borin,somewhere deep inside of me is saying boring and dull isn't how things should me

OP posts:
Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 17:38

I literally don't know how to reply to individual people and make it stand out???

OP posts:
Original poster
FoggyDew17 · 17/02/2018 17:40

*it's boring and dull I meant,sorry,cracked screen on phone doesn't always translate my thoughts well

OP posts:
PixieCutRegret · 17/02/2018 17:42

As my username suggests I really wouldn't recommend going for a style like that unless it's what you really want, my hair is similar to the style in the picture and growing it out is going to take forever even though my hair grows fast. Like marriage, you get your hair cut in haste and repent at leisure!

And echoing trust the fringe is a pain in the arse!

I do know women of different shapes and sizes with the same haircut who look good with hair that short and for them it was a good decision.

Chilver · 17/02/2018 17:53

Foggy, I'm bizarrely worrying about how a short cut will suit me at work in smarter clothes. Casual clothes I am sure it'll look fine!

But screw it, I'm just gonna go for it - and change the colour at the same time too! I can always repent at leisure... And lose the last 8kgs back to a weight I know it suits me at!! (Wishful thinking.....)

I saw go for it! Feel funky and trendy and yourself again!!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 17/02/2018 18:20

I love the cut with the long fringe, would love that style-hair too curly & too little time to faff with it Sad

fairislecable · 17/02/2018 18:31

Look through old photos of your various hairstyles, pick the style you think was most flattering and choose a more modern variation of that.

You can always add different colour, highlights or streaks to give texture.

I have always had longish hair as I felt it concealed my elderly neck a bit but now my style is shorter it looks so much better. (Still the same neck though!)