Can I get away with murder?

[Paddington68]

So it's half-term and the office is dead. A co-worker has taken to putting biro lids in his mouth and sucking them and almost chewing them noisily, he also slurps his tea.
I reckon if I make him jump he might choke, AIBU to be considering this?

Sounds like an accident waiting to happen to me...

Choke him with ice. The evidence will melt away! Not that I've ever considered it...

YANBU.

Or make him laugh, that might do it.

What town are you in? Someone here can give you an alibi

First rule, do not discuss plans on the intertnet.

I have a smiliarly annoying colleague. How about a "Strangers On A Train" arrangement?

TabbyMack

Sounds good.

As long as you leave no clues and hide his body somewhere long enough for it to rot so much that all evidence is destroyed.

It’s a shame they put those holes in the end of biro lids.

You could fill the hole with glue when he goes to the loos next

I read that as brillo pads and was like wtf?! 😂 sounds annoying.

An icicle. Melts and doesn't leave a trace.

Attempting the Heimlich manoeuvre when he's choking on the biro lid could add to the fun. Then send him a get well soon card that says 'sorry I broke your ribs'.

Ice you all say ...