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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu?

19 replies

TheWonderfulCat · 10/02/2018 08:57

DH and I were doing the dishes (he was washing, I was drying) and I will admit right now I am a little bit fussy with how clean the dishes are (i dont like food stuck to them). Anyway I put 2 item back into the sink and DH got all stroppy and walked off.

When I asked him what was wrong he said I make him feel like he cant do the dishes properly. I was surprised, as I wasnt nasty about putting the dishes back and apologised but hes still walking around all grumpy.

Aibu? Or should he have told me it was annoying before he cracked it? Confused

OP posts:
WitchDancer · 10/02/2018 09:09

I can't see how you were being unreasonable at all - this is a common thing to do as far as I'm concerned. There was no fuss, no comments, nothing to warrant such a reaction. He needs to get a grip!

LostInShoebiz · 10/02/2018 09:10

Rude to just stick them back in the sink after he had just washed them. Either explain and show what the problem is or put up with it. Or here's a thought, if he does it so poorly, you do the dishes.

Original poster
TheWonderfulCat · 10/02/2018 09:11

I did point out the bits that were stuck actually

OP posts:
LostInShoebiz · 10/02/2018 09:13

Then you should have said so in your first post actually.

You sound like hard work.

Oneandoneontheway · 10/02/2018 09:19

I don't think that being fussy over food being stuck to the plate unreasonable, sounds pretty normal/understandable

Think he's overreactingSmile

LostInShoebiz · 10/02/2018 09:21

I agree the food stuck to plates is disgusting. However, the behaviour described in the first post was quite rude. The second qualifying post adds much needed context and balances the scales somewhat.

Original poster
TheWonderfulCat · 10/02/2018 09:24

You can tell what Im like from one post?

I forgot to put that part in, thats all.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 10/02/2018 09:25

I’d broach it in the first place as “sorry, Hun, there’s just a little bit stuck to this one” but if he did strip off saying he felt I thought hadn’t done it right I’d say “well you haven’t!” And then we would both sulk around the house but I’d also eat some chocolate.

italiancortado · 10/02/2018 09:26

I can't believe that adults are so immature. The whole relationship sounds like hard work to me. It's not supposed to be.

Original poster
TheWonderfulCat · 10/02/2018 09:29

We rarely argue. Were both going through a bad time with terrible bosses, so I guess that could put tensions higher?

OP posts:
StillTryingHard · 10/02/2018 09:35

YABU my dp hovers while I stack the dishwasher & then takes them out and rinses them / restacks them. Drives me up the fucking wall & I always walk off in a strop

fidgetsmumx · 10/02/2018 09:38

I’d say he’s being overly sensitive. I mean, if he’d washed them properly in the first place they wouldn’t need to go back in..

FarmerSee · 10/02/2018 09:40

YANBU

"When I asked him what was wrong he said I make him feel like he cant do the dishes properly"

Well if there's food still stuck to them he hasn't done them properly.

He's a grown up, he should know how to wash dishes by now.

I find some people purposely do mundane chores like this wrong so they are told not to bother doing it again. My DH has tried this a few times, but I know what he's up to. He can fuck off if he thinks I'm doing all the household chores he 'can't' do properly. As a grown man who runs his own business he CAN wash dishes and I WILL put dirty dishes back in the sink for him to re-do. I couldnt give a shit if it upset him.

youngnomore · 10/02/2018 09:41

Maybe this is what you do often so he got annoyed?Saying that. Food being stuck on plate after washing is a bit gross. So if it happens again just re do them while he’s not watching. Grin

AmberTopaz · 10/02/2018 09:43

I can see both your points of view. It’s annoying when someone doesn’t do a job properly but also annoying when you’re tired and stressed and someone is being critical of you over something trivial. Have a hug and make up.

FEJ2016 · 23/02/2018 17:25

YANBU. People who do 1/2 arsed jobs drive me up the wall. Especially after you explained to him then apologised for upsetting him. He's just being silly. Food stuck to dishes means you can't dry them.
My DH does the same. I re-wash at least 50% of what he does. But I'm glad he's helping so I often don't tell him. Haha.

doesthislookoddtoyou · 23/02/2018 17:37

When I asked him what was wrong he said I make him feel like he cant do the dishes properly

he can't, if there is still food on them when he is done!

Whatshallidonowpeople · 23/02/2018 18:16

Rude to just stick them back in the sink after he had just washed them. Either explain and show what the problem is or put up with it. Or here's a thought, if he does it so poorly, you do the dishes.

Worst advice ever! He clearly need a the practice, so he should wash all dishes until he learns to do it properly

OwlinaTree · 23/02/2018 18:22

Then you should have said so in your first post actually.

You sound like hard work.

In what way is the op being hard work? Because she expects a grown up person to do the dishes properly without having a tantrum?

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