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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go part time

14 replies

Dratfoiledagain · 08/02/2018 23:04

Just looking for some perspective here. I have a child with sn and am thinking of applying for a pt job. Am currently full time on a reasonably good salary. 3 days in the job I'm looking at would pay just under 50% of what I am on now.

Dp has just made it clear he isn't thrilled with the idea as he thinks I will struggle financially. He is currently living on a similar salary and claims to be losing approx £150 per month, which he never told me before. For context he used to be paid considerably more. If I went pt he would save almost exactly £150 in childcare costs.

I have lived the last 3 year on pretty much exactly what I would be getting paid (been saving the rest) and I haven't exactly been frugal so I'm pretty sure I could do a lot better if I really set my mind to it.

I really feel like the extra time with me at home would benefit my child but I don't want to alienate dp. Aibu to go part time if the opportunity comes my way?

OP posts:

seasidelife · 08/02/2018 23:17

My instinct is kids come first but money worries aren't fun. Is this a part time job that you really, desperately want or could you spend some time looking for a compromise, one with slightly higher pay. Is there any wiggle room in the job that you have, maybe dropping a day?

Lucymek · 08/02/2018 23:20

What is he loosing 150 a month on ?

Cuppaand2biscuits · 08/02/2018 23:21

Do it.

HeddaGarbled · 08/02/2018 23:23

Is he the father of your child? Do you live together? Why would he be saving childcare costs but he thinks you would struggle financially?

Original poster

Dratfoiledagain · 08/02/2018 23:30

Cannot drop any days in my current job unfortunatly and unlikely to be able to get a pt job paying as much as the one I'm thinking of applying for. Most part time roles in my area pay about half of the one I'm looking at!

He is the father of my child, we live together and share all costs 50/50. I think he thinks I will struggle because he is, whereas in reality I have been living on that amount for the last few years anyway!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dratfoiledagain · 08/02/2018 23:33

I have no idea what he's overspending on. I wouldn't expect him to have a great deal of spare money but I'm surprised he's in the red every month. I do all the food shopping etc and would have been much more frugal if I'd been aware that he was struggling!

OP posts:

stargazer2030 · 08/02/2018 23:41

Does your child get DLA? You might be able to get carers allowance if your wages are below £116 (more if you pay for any childcare). Not a large amount but might make up a bit of the shortfall.

Original poster

Dratfoiledagain · 08/02/2018 23:45

I am in the midst of filling out the dla form so will see if we get an award. I doubt it though as I believe they are turning down a lot at the moment. I earn too much for carers allowance and won't get tax credits either.

OP posts:

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 08/02/2018 23:51

Going PT may affect your pension, it’s worth researching your financial projections for when you’re 60 and beyond.

Luckyaide · 08/02/2018 23:51

Go for it. Was in a similar position and did this 12 years ago. No regrets. Quite frankly I don't know how I'd have been able to manage all the medical appointments, time for physio, etc. No longer need childcare but it was always a struggle to find the kind that would really accommodate dd needs. (Rather than just saying they could 🙄)

Original poster

Dratfoiledagain · 08/02/2018 23:54

Have done the pension calculation and am happy with it. Am hoping only to be part time for a year or two but did the projection on worst case scenario. I have a financial background so I like to think I have thought it through. Love other people's perspectives though as I may well have missed something.

OP posts:

AWaitressInACocktailBar · 08/02/2018 23:59

It strikes me as really odd that you and your partner don’t see your interests as mutual and aligned. But since that’s the case, I don’t see why your income and expenses are any of his business. He certainly hasn’t been forthcoming with you about his.

HeddaGarbled · 09/02/2018 00:07

Right, don't do anything until you've sorted out your joint finances.

You are a family and all money should be joint apart from a bit of personal spending money if you can afford it.

You need to sit down together, work out joint income and all expenses. None of this you paying for food, him paying for childcare, him going into the red each month but you not.

If he's frittering money away, it's not for you to cut back on the food spend to compensate. But if he's genuinely struggling, it would be wrong to just ignore that and make independent financial decisions.

By the way, I note that you are not married. You do understand the financial implications of that if you split up or he dies, don't you? If you become financially dependent on him by reducing your income, you could be in trouble.

Butterymuffin · 09/02/2018 00:20

I don't understand why he will be saving on childcare costs if you go part time? And why would he resent that?

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