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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To book wedding BEFORE saving up?

27 replies

CurlyRover · 08/02/2018 15:32

DP and I are planning on getting married early 2019. We've worked out how much we can afford based on our current income / outgoings and how much we'll be able to save in the next 12 months. We know things need to be paid as they come up (or at least deposits) and have factored this in.

However, I remember when a work colleague got married last month she did something similar. But another work colleague said she was stupid and should have the money completely saved before planning the wedding.

So, who is BU here? Work colleague who thinks it's stupid to do what we plan and to save everything beforehand. Or us for wanting to book it now?

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 08/02/2018 15:38

Book it now. Pay later. I'm not sure how much it will be. You have to pay for the license and the registrar fee. This varies between councils.

Bitchywaitress · 08/02/2018 15:42

We did similar, booked the venue etc as soon as we had the money to pay for it in full, then saved and paid as we went. However, we had contingency in place in that the venue was flexible with the caterers you could chose. So should the worst have happened like one of us losing our job we could have had a cash bar and a hog roast if need be. Or cancelled the flowers etc etc. I think booking a full service venue with a package at £££ would be a bit risky tbh.

fannyanddick · 08/02/2018 15:43

Only you know how reliable you are at saving. Have you budgeted unexpected costs? How difficult will it be for you to save that amount and do you want to spend it all on the wedding rather than married life after (house, kids, holidays etc). Also, if you fall short, is there anyone who could lend you money.

If you save this amount every year, either in the bank or for a holiday that you won't take this year then fine. But if you're planning on saving more than you usually do by budgeting then sounds more risky.

Merryoldgoat · 08/02/2018 15:47

We did exactly what you’re suggesting and it was fine. We planned a year from engagement, worked out what we could reasonably afford to save and that was our budget.

After about 3 months we had £2k so that was plenty fur deposits etc to caterer and venue, we had the amount all saved up by the time we needed to pay the full amount.

We didn’t go into penny of debt. However, we did actually pay on a credit card and pay it off immediately for the security it gave.

mumgointhroughtorture · 08/02/2018 15:51

Some places book up years in advance so if you was to save up first you wouldn't be getting married til 2020 at least . You need 12 months notice .

Triskaidekaphilia · 08/02/2018 15:52

We continued saving after booking, I had a spreadsheet with everything to do with the wedding added up and a calculation of what we MUST save to have it all paid and checked on it constantly. We ended up being gifted some money by a family member which meant we were able to add in some extras a few months before. It helped that our venue was quite relaxed and we didn't have to give our final numbers, choices and payment until a month before the wedding.

CotswoldStrife · 08/02/2018 15:52

Are you likely to save the amount up, or do you have form previously for plans that don't quite come off. I know someone who does this and has cancelled her wedding at least twice, unfortunately! If you have a strong track record of doing this kind of thing then go for it! You do have to book weddings a fair way in advance.

GummyGoddess · 08/02/2018 15:54

It is stupid, but exactly what we did. Went to view venue, DH panicked about the dates and booked it. We weren't even engaged! Worked out OK though.

TieGrr · 08/02/2018 15:59

I hadn't even considered saving up before booking a wedding. We'll have enough for deposits when we book and continue to save until the final payments are due.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 08/02/2018 16:00

It depends how much you are planning on spending. A simple do with a family or the whole shebang?

Paying off your mortgage and maxing out pensions is more important than a destination wedding and 12 bridemaids.

Sarsparella · 08/02/2018 16:01

We did what you suggested and if was fine, we paid for things as they came up and knew how much we’d save each month between when we booked & the wedding

Why would you need all the money when most things won’t need to be paid in full until just before the actual day?

MotherofKitties · 08/02/2018 16:04

We booked and then saved; it worked out fine, you just have to budget and really stick to it! Xx

Abzs · 08/02/2018 16:05

Weddings don't have to be huge venue driven expensive things. It depends what you want, what you're prepared to pay, and if you're prepared to take on a debt for it.

I think ours was under 2k (what we had saved at the time), but it was registry office, nice pub lunch and party at home. At the other end of the scale, one of my brothers has been married 10years and only just paid off the debt on the full service hotel wedding he had.

Original poster
CurlyRover · 08/02/2018 16:13

We plan to get married abroad but with no guests. We want to use a company that organise things for us so that's the main fixed costs and then obviously flights need to be so we're in the country on time but can be partially flexible.

This will be our main holiday of the year so we'll save there.

We've just bought a house and over the last year saved thousands for that. Now we've bought the house obviously we don't need to save for the deposit.

The amount we'd need to save (from a worst case perspective) is 55% of our disposal income - which I think is doable?

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 08/02/2018 17:35

We booked and paid deposits and are now saving the rest. Take out insurance, use credit card to pay for protection then pay your card off as soon as you use it....8 weeks to go!

Original poster
CurlyRover · 08/02/2018 18:02

What kind of insurance fluffy?

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 08/02/2018 18:14

Wedding insurance. If one of your suppliers goes bust, inclement weather postpones the wedding, flight are cancelled, dress is damaged the insurance covers it.

Fluffyears · 08/02/2018 18:20

Also credit card payments lend another level of cover as long as you pay it off. I got my wedding insurance from go compare. Our wedding is on the west cost of Scotland in April. The weather could be a scorcher or could be minging or thebusual 4 seasons in one day. There is a B road that leads to the venue that is impassable in snow I need insurance to cover the cost of re-booking if this happens.

Original poster
CurlyRover · 08/02/2018 21:10

Ahh thanks fluffy. That sounds like a good idea - for you and for us! Was it expensive?

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 10/02/2018 22:57

No it was £50 but its a drop in the ocean compared to most weddings, even small weddings can cost a few thousand when you add up, Registrars, outfits, rings, venue etc

Original poster
CurlyRover · 11/02/2018 10:02

That's really cheap fluffy.

The packages we've looked into are roughly £2200 - 2500 plus then rings, outfits, flights, accommodation and spending money. So £50 is definitely worth it.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 11/02/2018 10:05

Neither method is right or wrong. Do what works for you and don’t overspend.

Fluffyears · 11/02/2018 10:30

I know even out elopement is costing more than I thought. Good luck x

NotAnotherEmma · 11/02/2018 10:32

If you all know you're good at budgeting and saving up then I don't see the problem and how you're paying for your wedding really isn't anyone else's business.

specialsubject · 11/02/2018 10:33

I take it you have savings for real life, in case of job loss etc?

While a big party will be pricey, you can economise on the dont care items , favours, chair covers, crap like that.