If it was the other way around?

[twosugarspleasee]

Those of you who’s been through hell with their MIL, do you sometimes think about if it was the other way around, if your mum treated DH the way his mum treats you what he would say and how he would deal with it?

I just know that if my mum treated DH even half the way his mum treats me he would flip and would say things like that’s it I don’t wanna see her anymore, I don’t want her coming round here anymore etc etc.

But for some reason I’m expected to put up with all the shit his mum puts me through and make more of an effort with her. When she talks behind my back he will make every excuse for her.. “she’s stressed” ..” she didn’t mean it”.. “you be the bigger person “ etc etc

I’m just fed up tbh 😢

I agree.

Do you have children together?

tbh, dh would not be expected to engage as much with his mil than I would with mine.

Yes we have three DC.

I applied this logic at the last event, and made it very clear that I was willing to defend him to the death if my parents dared act like his did towards me and us, and as he wasn't doing the same in return, he could frankly do one. He then started to stand up for me.

We are NC with them now, which is better as MIL and SIL are poisonous and I was fearful of DS being around them.

I've always found it odd why women are accpected to have a close relationship with their MIL, its pushed so much more than a MIL-SonIL relatioship. I've had good and bad MIL relationships in the past but theres always been a relationship, my mum has never gotten close to my partners.

OP you need to do what you said you know he would do, flip and refuse to see her unless somethings done about it. Both of you would be equally justified in doing that if one of your MIL's is treating you badly.

My family treats my Dh worse than my MIL has ever treated me.

At first he kept trying, for me, but it just got too much for his mental healthy. So he has now backed off completely with my full approval.

He doesn't speak to them, he refuses to be in the same room as them, if he sees them in the street, he ignores them.

Doesn't really affect me too much as since I took my husbands side, they ignore me too