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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about my son’s reaction to my accident?

216 replies

atupri · 20/01/2018 10:04

I slipped off the top of stairs this morning and landed on my bottom. Cried due to the shock and pain after it. My son was sitting right in front of me watching Tv while it happened. He didn’t come to me to check if I’m ok or ask me anything. After a while, I managed to get up and go to the kitchen. He then came over and asked for his breakfast. I felt so sad and disappointed about his reaction. Please tell me if AIBU to be angry with his reaction. He is 7.

OP posts:
Dons1975 · 20/01/2018 10:05

Ah he’s 7. Mine would have laughed and asked me to do it again.

Trinity66 · 20/01/2018 10:06

He's still very young so don't take it to heart too much but yeah you would think he'd atleast ask if you're ok

Thebookswereherfriends · 20/01/2018 10:07

Tv makes children completely zone out. He probably didnt even notice what had happened.

Afreshcuppateaplease · 20/01/2018 10:07

7 is a quite self obsessed age

I fell down the stairs recently and my 8 year old said "oh wow have you broken your leg" He then continued to play on the computer.

Dragongirl10 · 20/01/2018 10:07

so sorry OP l hope you are feeling a bit better now.

I understand why you were upset by Ds reaction, l would be.

l do think kids need to be tought empathy in many cases, have a chat with him, and say that when someone gets hurt or scared, you should always go up to them and see if they are ok and offer support.

Do some role play too it is a good way to teach him how to behave in and accident situation or emergency too..

Hope your weekend gets better!

Northernparent68 · 20/01/2018 10:09

Your son is not responsible for your welfare, and crying because you fell over is a bit of an over reaction.

DO3271 · 20/01/2018 10:09

Its a very strange reaction. My only thought is he was so engrossed in what he was watching he didn't hear you. Ehen my 8 year old son is fixated on something the red arrows could do a flypast through the living room and he wouldn't notice. If he did notice he would be upset and worried for me, he's a sensitive little soul

frogsoup · 20/01/2018 10:12

He's 7! You're expecting a level of attention, empathy and consideration that he isn't developmentally capable of. Some kids might be, most aren't.

Crumbs1 · 20/01/2018 10:12

He’s seven. I’m surprised he didn’t laugh mine would have been laughing for ages and they’re adults. I too am surprised that you cried because you fell over; it does feel like an excessive reaction.

Twoweekcruise · 20/01/2018 10:12

northern have you ever fallen down the stairs? It bloody hurts! Op my kids are like zombies when in front of the tv. Hope you feel ok, you’ll probably feel quite bruised for the next day or so, have a good soak in the bath.

frogsoup · 20/01/2018 10:13

or rather attention-switching. Yes to the red arrows through the living room, mine are the same!

Trinity66 · 20/01/2018 10:13

Your son is not responsible for your welfare, and crying because you fell over is a bit of an over reaction.

Bloody hell, asking if his mother is ok after she fell sin't saying he's responsible for her welfare Grin

Ratinthehat · 20/01/2018 10:13

My son was like this at that age I accidently put a knife through my hand I was trying to stop the bleeding and all he cared about was what he was having for dinner. Even while I was getting stitches at the hospital he only cares he hadn't eaten.

HumphreyCobblers · 20/01/2018 10:13

falling over is a terrible shock as you get older, why be mean to the OP? Especially if she had fallen down a flight of stairs.

Casmama · 20/01/2018 10:16

I am gobsmacked by these responses!
My ds is 8 but when he was 7 in similar circumstances I would have certainly had a discussion about empathy.
As for crumbs snidely comment about crying- ignore it- not sure why she is trying to make you feel worse.

NorbertTheDragon · 20/01/2018 10:16

Ouch! I fell down the stairs a few months ago and had a bloody great bruise on my thigh for ages.

Two of mine have Asd so don't react when I'm hurt.

The others don't but also weren't that concerned. (Probably because I was upstairs to tell them to get to bed as they were mucking about. I totally blamed them for it!)

When they were younger and I fell they rushed over - because they wanted to know if I swore! Hmm Bloody kids!

Pengggwn · 20/01/2018 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 20/01/2018 10:19

It’s normal for that age. I wouldn’t have WANTED him to notice or be concerned. Why on earth would you want attention from a child just because you fell over? Confused

Pengggwn · 20/01/2018 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nikephorus · 20/01/2018 10:20

I too am surprised that you cried because you fell over; it does feel like an excessive reaction.
It's the falling down the stairs that does it - I think it's the shock and the thought of what you could have broken. If she'd cried by just falling over on level ground I'd agree with you, but whenever I've had a minor accident on the stairs I've always been a bit shaken for a minute. (Then you get up & wonder why you're being such a wuss & swear to take more care on the stairs from now on)

DressAndGo · 20/01/2018 10:21

If he was already in tv so early in the day, he was probably already zoned out. Tv kills empathy and interaction anyway.

Balaboosteh · 20/01/2018 10:23

Talk to him about it. It’s a great opportunity for a discussion around compassion etc.

Casmama · 20/01/2018 10:24

I think it is totally normal to expect a family member to care if you have fallen down the stairs- I know my 3 year old ds would.
I think it is part of the job as a parent to teach empathy and caring for others - surelyan “are you ok mum?” Isn’t too much to ask?

AmaraSas · 20/01/2018 10:25

I have to talk to ds about compassion and understanding all the time, he is getting more aware now. Some ppl just dont notice, i wouldnt worry just ise it as aparenting opportunity

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 20/01/2018 10:27

My DD would have been the same. I have another DD who is very empathetic though and she'd have shown concern much younger.

Some kids just don't get it.

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