Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Facebook related to warn you all! Would you be offended?

223 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/01/2018 21:50

So I'm a member of several local groups - Because of where I live it's all villages and I'm part of each of their Facebook groups.

Tonight in one of them a post appears. Basically a young lad (about 20-23) had taken a picture of a girl he didn't know and the back of her in a shop. She was wearing an equestrian centre hoody. His caption to the post was "Feel sorry for the horse she rides" or something similar to that. The girl had seen the post and she had screenshot and posted to the local group saying how hurt she was.

I'm in two minds about it - I certainly think it's fat-shaming and not to be condoned at all. But people jumped on it saying they were going to tell his employers, and get him fired. He wasn't even a member of the group to go and apologise and instead had friends defending him the whole time. I'm sure he thought he was just being clever and doing it for likes and banter but he doesn't realise the impact he could've had on the girls life either.

Do you guys think everyone overreacted or he deserves whatever comes his way?

OP posts:
EveningShadows · 13/01/2018 21:53

I highly doubt he’d be fired over it but what a nasty bastard. Hope he gets some karma. What goes through their tiny minds when they do things like that. Vile.

Oldraver · 13/01/2018 21:53

Looks like he is getting a taste of his own, very deservedly, medicine.

Maybe he will think think about this kind of thing

earlofhell · 13/01/2018 21:53

no sympathy really.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/01/2018 21:56

No I didn't have any either. His Facebook was perfectly visible so everyone could see his current and previous employers as well as the name and birth date of his child.

Friends were posting messages such as "he was only doing it for banter if it was me I wouldve laughed" And "He's worried sick he's going to lose his job"

Yet the whole time he made no attempt to join the group and let his fiance and friends defend his honour.

OP posts:
teaandtoast · 13/01/2018 21:57

'A young lad (about 20-23)' - no, that's an adult man.

treeofhearts · 13/01/2018 21:57

He would deserve whatever comes his way. Want to keep your job? Don't act like a bullying little cunt on social media. Job done.

Mxyzptlk · 13/01/2018 22:00

I don't expect he'll get fired but he deserves to be worried.

If what he posted was an okay thing to do, he'd have no need to be worried, would he?

BornInSydneyy · 13/01/2018 22:03

Warn us all? Warn us about what exactly?

Snowysky20009 · 13/01/2018 22:04

It's out of work, and I highly doubt his employers will fire him, depending on his job he may get a talking too and sent on an equality and diversity course.

Anyway back to the photo- it was a shit thing to do! I feel for the girl, she must be so humiliated.

TheStoic · 13/01/2018 22:05

He’s not going to lose his job. Unfortunately.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/01/2018 22:06

I think the miserable prick deserves any misery coming his way.

Bambamber · 13/01/2018 22:06

He deserves it, what a vile person.

Banter is humour between you and your mates which doesn't hurt each other's feelings.

Boredbeforeievenbegan · 13/01/2018 22:06

Actually some people don’t want to employ men like that.

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2018 22:06

I can't see him losing his job but I'm sure his employers will give him a stern talking to about privacy, WRT publicising his place of work.

It wouldn't surprise me if he ends up getting a slap though, when he's out and about.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/01/2018 22:07

BornInSydney The fact it's a Facebook thread, which to be fair are usually pretty dramatic and silly.

I was thinking about the job side of it - and I work in Talent Acquisition. If I was searching for a candidate on Facebook prior to hire and saw their name mentioned in association to this I would think twice about if they were right for the business. Also if he's named his employer and everyone on that post knows that he works there there's an element of bringing the company into disrepute.

OP posts:
TathitiPete · 13/01/2018 22:09

He probably won't lose his job.
I imagine the vast majority of people who find out about this will judge him harshly and think of him as a twat. That often happens when you act like a twat.

HolyShet · 13/01/2018 22:10

Deserves everything he gets, horribly misjudged his right to ridicule someone for the sake of "banter".

I imagine he'd only lose his job if he was working in said shop and taking pics of customers. He should apologise unreservedly on his own social media and share.

MrsPworkingmummy · 13/01/2018 22:10

I must live close to you OP as I've just been discussing that exact post with my DH - very local to me. I think he deserves all of the grief he has been given - what on earth gives him the right to photograph a complete stranger, post it on social media and then fat-shame her without any consequence? He is a grown man and a father, and has behaved like a school playground bully. I was disgusted by his fiancé's defence of him. Particularly given he was no oil painting himself.

Too be honest, I am completely disgusted that we, as a society, appear to have a growing acceptance of the normality of photographing strangers, then plastering those pictures all over the web. It's a horrid aspect of our culture!

Ragusa · 13/01/2018 22:11

Yuck. Little toad. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him ?!?!

It would be tempting to reply something about feeling sorry for any lady who had to make do with his chipolata but that would be extremely juvenile.

DriggleDraggle · 13/01/2018 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohyesiam · 13/01/2018 22:12

Well if he learns to stfu unless he has has something worth saying, it's all for the good.

Gah81 · 13/01/2018 22:13

I have very little sympathy for this man.

I have to recruit as part of my job (just hiring members of my team) and we always do a quick Google/LinkedIn search beforehand.

I would be reluctant to hire someone who had shown such appalling judgement. At 20-23, most decent humans know enough not to fat shame someone.

TammySwansonTwo · 13/01/2018 22:14

FFS. "Banter" is just a euphemism for being a (usually misogynistic) fuckwit. I hope he's sweating bullets, maybe he'll think about the consequences in future.

Rule 1 of social media: never post anything you wouldn't be happy saying to your boss or your grandmother

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/01/2018 22:15

MrsPworkingmummy It was interesting because when I saw the initial post about telling his employers I was all for it. He deserves it at the end of the day. Then for some reason I started to feel guilty when the whole "He has a fiance and newborn and trying to keep a roof over their head" lines came out.

I don't in the slightest feel sorry for him, like others said he had no idea who that girl was or her feelings. He needed to make his profile private if he's going to post such shite.

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 13/01/2018 22:15

It's like that model who twittered taking the piss out of some poor, unsuspecting, naked, older woman at the gym.

She lost her career, good.

I hope he gets hauled over the coals, and if he loses his job? Tough shit.

It's good to see decent people coming out, and saying... This sucks, you're an arse hole.

His friends and fiancé are also ducks.