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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Facebook related to warn you all! Would you be offended?

223 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/01/2018 21:50

So I'm a member of several local groups - Because of where I live it's all villages and I'm part of each of their Facebook groups.

Tonight in one of them a post appears. Basically a young lad (about 20-23) had taken a picture of a girl he didn't know and the back of her in a shop. She was wearing an equestrian centre hoody. His caption to the post was "Feel sorry for the horse she rides" or something similar to that. The girl had seen the post and she had screenshot and posted to the local group saying how hurt she was.

I'm in two minds about it - I certainly think it's fat-shaming and not to be condoned at all. But people jumped on it saying they were going to tell his employers, and get him fired. He wasn't even a member of the group to go and apologise and instead had friends defending him the whole time. I'm sure he thought he was just being clever and doing it for likes and banter but he doesn't realise the impact he could've had on the girls life either.

Do you guys think everyone overreacted or he deserves whatever comes his way?

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 13/01/2018 22:16

And dicks Hmm

BewareOfDragons · 13/01/2018 22:17

Banter?

I'm fed up with people excusing crappy, piss poor behaviour as 'banter'. It's not. It's vile. And you deserve to be pulled up on it.

You post it, you take your chances.

Snowdrop18 · 13/01/2018 22:18

No sympathy
If he gets fired it will partly be for having no idea how to behave a public forum.

A nasty misogynist and a fool. Yes, I'd fire him.

CantChoose · 13/01/2018 22:20

If he worked for a firm in an industry I was recruiting I would definitely avoid if it came up when searching for the firm.
It's a clear statement that he has poor moral judgement so not someone I would want to associate with in a professional (or personal) capacity.

BarbarianMum · 13/01/2018 22:21

I dont really like the idea of using the internet to shame people but this guy clearly has no problem with it. So I don't see why he shouldn't be on the receiving end of something he clearly espouses.

Theimpossiblegirl · 13/01/2018 22:22

No point feeling sorry for him because he has a fiance and newborn- he needs to grow up and fast. A public apology would be a good first step, not hiding behind his mates.

Gah81 · 13/01/2018 22:22

He should have thought about his fiancé, newborn and the need to keep a roof over their heads before he did something so stupid and, frankly, quite nasty.

RB68 · 13/01/2018 22:23

Thing is - who has taught him this is acceptable, why does he think this is OK, just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they deserve this sort of shit being thrown at them. Same as he doesn't deserve to loose a job over it - however he does deserve the shitstorm taste of his own bloody medicine nasty piece of work

user1471459936 · 13/01/2018 22:23

"Talent Acquisition" Hmm

Gah81 · 13/01/2018 22:23

*fiancée

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 13/01/2018 22:25

You don't get to act the bully to make yourself look funny and then get away with it because you've got a fiancé and a newborn. The idea is that you are a fiancé and father in the first instance and behave like a responsible and decent human being so that it doesn't all go to shit.

I hope he loses his job. Serves him right. He might think twice before bullying someone and he might pass the message on to his child that bullying is not ok. Raising his child not to bully should be because he knows it's wrong, but clearly he doesn't. Having some consequences that affect his own life should teach him though, it's better than nothing I suppose. Consequences might break the cycle if the child has the mindset of his father.

Why can't people just be decent human beings?

MsHarry · 13/01/2018 22:25

No sympathy, I don't know any men that would post something like that. They might say it to a mate but publicly shaming her is out if order.

Fitbitironic · 13/01/2018 22:26

Deserves everything he gets. It's one thing having a bit of discreet banter with mates (although that's still an unpleasant trait), but a completely different thing to post publicly on social media. Little twat.

Ginkypig · 13/01/2018 22:26

Well maybe he will learn there are consequences to his behaviour then.

Nothing will change until as a society we don't tolerate the so common shitty behaviour of so many people.

This wasn't banter this was bullying.

CisCucumber · 13/01/2018 22:27

I'd love to see him lose his job
Hope he loses his fiance too
No sympathy for anyone who does this

MsHarry · 13/01/2018 22:27

It's actually really good karma that his weapon of choice(social media) is firing back at him now! Grin

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 13/01/2018 22:27

Yeah and 'banter' is just another word for bullying - only it has connotations that you can't take a joke if you don't go along with it. Nice manipulation of language there, call it something else and it becomes acceptable.

GreenTulips · 13/01/2018 22:28

Don't act like a bullying little cunt on social media

Thank god some people will stand up to these rotten bullyies! That girl is someone's wife/daughter/cousin - how would he like it?

Chance of losing is job? Depends what he does for a living! Some employers would fire him.

My kids are well aware of things they post could elaffect their careers and any reputable employer would search social media for a profile

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/01/2018 22:31

Apparently he's deleted the original post and also apologised to the girl via a Facebook message, So nobody saw the apology and she took the post down. Which was tbh attracting a shitstorm of his friends telling everyone how lovely he is vs everyone else saying it's a disgusting thing to do

OP posts:
saladdays66 · 13/01/2018 22:32

Actions have consequences. Time more people realised that.

Nasty bully. Should have thought about his job/family/kidbefore posting a bullying message.

2belles · 13/01/2018 22:33

I wouldn't be too sure he wouldn't looses his job especially if his company name is visiable. Sorry no sympathy for him.

Aspergallus · 13/01/2018 22:41

Real life consequences are the most effective means of modifying bad behaviour. Don't we know that as parents?

Hopefully he'll learn from this mistake and not behave like such a prize shit in future. The "bullying" response from the outraged of fb seems the most appropriate consequence for his own bullying and vile behaviour.

Coward, bet he wouldn't have risked it had it been a large man.

scrabbler3 · 13/01/2018 22:41

He's not a "young lad" though. He's a grown man, not a misguided schoolboy.

I hope that he's learned something from this experience and that he will bring up his kid with decent values.

It's not relevant that he's "no oil painting". Hot guys are also not allowed to fat shame women imo. No one is.

expatinscotland · 13/01/2018 22:53

He's an adult and a twunt. No sympathy for douchebags like this.

MidniteScribbler · 13/01/2018 22:56

I hope he loses his job. Shame he can't also be charged for harassment.

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