I can't believe you're single

[commutergirl22]

In the context of online dating I've had messages from quite a few guys saying this (not a stealth boast btw). I assume it's meant as a compliment, but it's the implication that surely some man should have snapped me up by now that really grinds on me, as opposed to me actively choosing to be single/being a bit choosy about who I date. AIBU to find this highly irritating?

I normally reply that I've got high standards!

Tell them you're not single, just looking for a spare in case your boyf malfunctions.

it must be really hard to make a connection at the pre-date part of OLD, of course people are going to trot out cliches - I'd say you were in there :)

as opposed to me actively choosing to be single/being a bit choosy about who I date

You're on an online dating site. You're obviously not actively choosing to be single, and you're not that choosy, so yabvu.

Recently, I had ‘you’ve been unlucky in love’ from my builder. I told him it was a question of perspective.

These are just phrases to oil the budding relationship along.
There are all sorts of reasons why people are single but if you're going to get that annoyed over something so blasé then perhaps dating is indeed not for you at all

I used to get this all the time when I was online dating and I noticed it was mostly men who didn’t seem very confident/were boring af in their profiles so it’s an awkward ice breaker. It’s a weird thing but men think telling women that they’re attractive/shouldn’t be single will make them desperate to sleep with them. I deleted every message like that.

I can understand why it's annoying, so really YANBU.
However on OLD a lot of people are nervous and looking for something good to say, and can come out with some right corkers as a result! I'd imagine it was meant as a misguided compliment.

It's just an old chat up line. It just means they like you. Please don't over analyse everything.

Also yes, why would anyone assume you are actively choosing to be single when you are participating in online dating

Women say this to men too by the way.

They're just unimaginatively attempting to flatter you and yes it rather suggests all the rejects are single when obviously being single us hardly a one reason status!

as opposed to me actively choosing to be single/being a bit choosy about who I date

You're on an online dating site. You're obviously not actively choosing to be single, and you're not that choosy, so yabvu.

Lmaooooooooooooo

It can be seen as a backhanded compliment and i think this is the reason it bothers you. ‘You’re allright looking but wtf is your problem?’. Makes you feel shit about yourself and thus easier to manipulate.

Thanks for the replies. I guess it is just a nice ice breaker rather than anything more, but glad to hear I'm not the only one who finds it a bit annoying.
Ok, I get that 'actively choosing to be single' was clumsily put. I meant choosing to be single over dating every man that approaches me. But I'm not choosy if I'm on OLD??? How else do you meet people nowadays?

yeah, i don't know how anybody meets people these days except OLD! But also, cut people some slack, it's so hard to have those initial few chats, if they turn out to be an idiot on closer inspection then...

It's a chat up line/ compliment probably every girl on there gets. They are assuming you aren't happy to be single as you're on a dating site, therefore actively looking.

Nobody has ever said this to me