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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset at husband for taking naked pics whilst asleep

203 replies

scoobysu · 03/01/2018 19:45

Married for 10 years with two young daughters (under 4). DH is a fantastic Dad, caring husband and we are very happy. That was until Monday when I found naked pictures of myself that he had taken when I was asleep or not looking (without consent) and emailed them to himself from his phone. I am so upset and spent last night crying myself to sleep. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I will ever be able to trust him again but I also don’t want to break up my family as until now we have been very happy. What should I do? I confronted him and he has been very upset and apologied repeatedly and is begging for another chance. He said it was a huge mistake but I have found a photo dating back to 2015 so I think this has been going on for a while. I feel totally sick and betrayed but I don’t know if I am overreacting by being so upset. AIBU? What would you do?

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
GingerbreadMa · 03/01/2018 19:47

He's a sexual preditor. Im sorry this happened to you

AppleTrayBake · 03/01/2018 19:49

I'm not surprised you're upset!

I couldn't be with someone who did that, he's sounds like a creep. It's such strange behaviour, I'd worry about what else he was into that I didn't know about. How are you ever meant to relax?

Sorry this has happened to you OP.

MamaDoGood · 03/01/2018 19:49

I personally wouldn't have too much problem with this? I'd probably just ask why he never mentioned it to me but other than that... nope.

Although saying this, you are allowed to feel how you feel. Talk to your husband.

supersop60 · 03/01/2018 19:53

This is weird and creepy, and may even be a criminal offence.
Does anyone remember the woman a couple of years back whose husband drugged her to make her sleep and then sexually assaulted her and videoed it while she was asleep?

Twinkleheth · 03/01/2018 19:53

I couldn’t get past this, sorry. It’s about the years of dishonesty and disrespect - this man is not who you thought he was. I’m so sorry OP

Finnbuktu · 03/01/2018 19:55

Not on. This is a massive invasion of privacy and shows his utter disregard for you and your feelings.

He has treated you like an object for his own amusement without your knowledge or consent, and has no respect for you.

So sorry this has happened. I couldn’t accept this kind of behaviour and no way would I think that “I” was breaking up the family by leaving - I’d think I was keeping my self respect intact and showing the scumbag he is not worthy.

He is to blame, not you.

April229 · 03/01/2018 19:57

I would have a real problem with this OP.

Photos from 2015 and last Monday. I doubt there was none in between, I would go through his computer and ask to see everything on there.

I hate to ask, but are you sure he hasn’t shared them anywhere / with anyone? Has he explained why has he done this?

Hueandcry · 03/01/2018 19:58

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It happened to me too. The person who did it is now in jail for sharing the images online. It's not overreacting, you will never be able to trust him again. I'm sorry OP Flowers

Sparkletastic · 03/01/2018 19:58

We've had this exact thread before. Who are these awful men?! Dump his ass. No amount of sorries can make up for that.

MelonKnee · 03/01/2018 19:58

OP - I would be upset too because of the underhanded nature of it. Total betrayal of trust. Totally different to a couple having a mutually agreed photo session.

I'd also be concerned that because of the sneaky way he took the photos, that he might have shared them. Have you asked him about that?

icelollycraving · 03/01/2018 19:59

Bloody hell,how weird and creepy.
A huge invasion of your privacy.
If you get past it, I’d suggest always wearing pjs to sleep in. I’d want to make sure they haven’t been emailed anywhere else or uploaded to somewhere else. Fuck that shit. Shock

Hatsoffdear · 03/01/2018 20:00

This is strange op. Why wouldn’t he have asked you if it was ok? Do you think he has shared them? So sorry to bring this up but can you see his phone, tablet use. I think you need to really talk to him and get to the root of this. Flowers

LouHotel · 03/01/2018 20:00

What is he doing with the photos. I would take his laptop and search history etc of his emails to see if he's been swapping the photos with other people.

Figgygal · 03/01/2018 20:03

Very odd behaviour why did he say he'd done it
I'd find it hard to trust him

fallenblossom · 03/01/2018 20:04

I wouldn't tolerate this. I would leave a man that did this to me.

Creepy fucker.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/01/2018 20:04

Not acceptable, totally and utterly disrespectful. Is it a crime. He cod use those photos in a negative way against you, if you ever split up.

Viviennemary · 03/01/2018 20:05

I would leave immediately. Don't know if it's a criminal offence. If it is then I'd inform the police. How do you know he's not shared them. It's a horrible pervy thing to do. IMHO

Neverender · 03/01/2018 20:06

What a creep - this would freak me out no end.

Lovely333 · 03/01/2018 20:06

Totally creepy, I wonder what other secrets hes hiding..

AnyFucker · 03/01/2018 20:07

Are you prepared to take the correct advice ?

flutterby12 · 03/01/2018 20:10

Unforgivable. What else has he taken pics of? I'd be worried. So sorry OP Thanks

NinonDeLenclos · 03/01/2018 20:10

Really sorry OP.

You need to scour his phone, tablets and laptop to see what he's got and whether he's shared the pics online.

Hueandcry · 03/01/2018 20:11

It is a criminal offence

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