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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to see a clairvoyant??

27 replies

shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 19:10

Hi...won't go into details as just too much but for the past 5 years I feel like I have had no control over where my life is going. I take 2 steps forward...and 10 back. I've had counselling and it honestly did help but I really need something more...I just wanted to know if anyone has seen a clairvoyant and what their experience was like...I live in leamington so if anyone knows of someone in reasonable proximity please share!

OP posts:
KimmySchmidt1 · 20/12/2017 19:13

Unless you think that flushing your cash down the swanny on a fraudster will bring you a moment of clarity that enables you to sort yourself out then no.

Stick with therapy, not contacting the dead.

PaperBagPrincesa · 20/12/2017 19:14

I wouldn't unless you want to do it purely for fun.

It sounds like you need to google self-efficacy. Finding out about self-efficacy helped me understand a few years ago why my self-esteem was great in theory but why life was still 'happening' to me and why people were eroding my boundaries. I do feel more in control now. It was a vital piece of a jigsaw and I didn't know it was missing until I read up on it.

PurpleDaisies · 20/12/2017 19:15

You’re better seeing a trained counsellor.

Clairvoyants are charlatans.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 20/12/2017 19:18

YWBU to give money to these nasty charlatans. At best they're delusional, at worst (most of them) they prey on the vulnerable and weak.

What do you feel you have no control over?

Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 19:21

Daily - I feel I just don't know what I'm doing wrong...things haven't worked out at work. I've been divorced for about 6 years and had about 6 failed relationships since. I'm just unhappy really

OP posts:
Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 19:23

Paper - thanks for that I will read up about self efficacy it seems interesting

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PaperBagPrincesa · 20/12/2017 19:23

You have more control than you think.

You can choose not to date for a year. Give yourself a year off this shit!

KarmaStar · 20/12/2017 19:24

Your best place to start is your local spiritual church.easy to search for.every spiritual church has a minimum of one ,usually two,evenings per week where you can go for free and listen.it often is a prayer,a hymn,a talk and then messages are given.if you want a private message speak to the people who run the church who will be able to put you in contact with a few spiritual mediums.
Then you can make up your own mind Flowers

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 20/12/2017 19:25

shouldiwouldi You have a lot of control over those things, though it might feel like you don't. Do you know what job you'd like and how to get there? Paper is right that a break from dating might do you a world of good.

Ginmakesitallok · 20/12/2017 19:26

Yes, YABU.

CurryWorst · 20/12/2017 19:28

you feel like you've had no control, so you want a possibly unbalanced fraud to tell you what to do and what is happening?

Does that really sound like taking control of anything?

Laiste · 20/12/2017 19:28

shouldi ask yourself exactly what you would want to hear from the clairvoyant. Do you want them to tell you you're a troubled soul but that things are going to improve?

You can tell yourself that and save a lot of money. Honestly.

IMO 99.9% of so called clairvoyants - even if they believe in themselves - are just picking up on clues in your behavior and chat as you arrive and will just fish about mentioning things which make you believe they are able to 'see you', and tell your future .... think about it .... they'll say what you want to hear which will be something you could have told yourself, or they'll tell you something you don't want to hear and you'll feel worse!

Your own self belief is waaay stronger than any babble over a set of cards.

Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 19:30

Daily- I work in social care and I don't really enjoy it. I have switched teams but it's still the same politics and nonsense! Paper yes I think a break from dating is what I need. I'm 42 and I enjoy my own company but sometimes I just feel as if I'll be on my own forever
I think I'm just feeling really desperate and searching for something / answers

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Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 19:32

Yes Laiste my own self belief should be way stronger!! I think the last 6 years or so have just worn me down

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EastMidsMummy · 20/12/2017 19:36

Yes. It's bullshit.

Laiste · 20/12/2017 20:02

When you're feeling desperate is the worst time to go. You'll hang on their words and remember every phrase and analyse it to death afterwards while you're meant to be getting some kip.

twiney · 20/12/2017 20:03

Go and see a priest instead.

You'll get the same level of comfort but its free.

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 20/12/2017 20:21

If a counsellor didn't work, try another one or cbt. A clairvoyant won't help. Stop waiting for someone to tell you the answers, decide them yourself.

Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 20:30

Thank you to everyone...you've made me think about things x

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missiondecision · 20/12/2017 20:35

Don’t waste your money.
They are just good at reading the people in front of them. It’s all woooo.

PaperBagPrincesa · 20/12/2017 20:49

I could have gone round the world on a beautiful holiday with the money I spent on babysitters going out to meet men who were not worthy of me and yet dumped me. I haven't dated all year and in that year I think I finally heard direction from inside, that probably sounds like hokey. I read a few really good books and took bits from here and there. Dipped in to philosophy and psychology on coursera.net, took up a dress design course, started sculpting figures out of clay, did two writing classes, joined a book club. Have had a much better year than the two before it I can tell ya. If I venture back out there now in 2018 my bar will just be higher. I won't be trying to LIFT the bar higher self-consciously, it just will be. At the beginning of this year I read something about doing the things you enjoyed doing most between the ages of 8 and 14 and it's done me the world of good. I need to get my daughter's skates out and see if I can do a backwards figure of eight still! Wine

Men shmen, I'd like a good one, but I don't want to waste my whole life looking.

Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 20:54

Paper- thats really helpful advice...thank you. You are so right...I have actually forgotten about the things I like! I use to love reading and I haven't done that in such a long time. I spend so much time trying to "figure" things out that I am forgetting to live. Thanks you Paper...thank you everyoneThanks

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Gacapa · 20/12/2017 21:02

OP, I'm your age and in a similar position. I get lonely and have bouts of debilitating depression. Relationships never seem to work out etc.

I don't have any magic answers but just want to say you're not alone in going through these feelings. And I honestly don't think you'll find any 'answers' from turning to supposedly paranormal support.

Take care. Flowers

BuzzKillington · 20/12/2017 21:05

Don't waste your money.

They are charlatans.

Original poster
shouldiwouldi · 20/12/2017 21:44

Gacapa- thank you for your words. I really hear you Thanks

OP posts:
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