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AIBU?

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Original poster

To panic about my belly

18 replies

Mulberrytree7 · 17/12/2017 12:29

I’m due to go on my first date in two years. It seems promising - he first contacted me on a dating site, we’ve spoken on the phone a few times and I’ve googled him - he seems really lovely. All my pictures are recent including full length ones so he knows I’m a size 14-16, however what he obviously can’t see is what my abdomen looks like since having a baby a year ago - loose and pouchy and flabby Sad. I wear clothes that flatter my figure and am in proportion so I actually (IMO) look pretty good in clothes! But out of them is a different story... by boobs are saggier too. If things get to the point of us being undressed (not that that would happen for a while) I’m worried that he’ll be repulsed. Has anyone else been through this? Did you have a bad reaction from anyone? it’s really stressing me out!

OP posts:
Idreamofalandrover · 17/12/2017 12:31

If your a size 16 and had a baby I think he'll know what is underneath, don't worry I'm sure it's fine Smile

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 17/12/2017 12:31

You need a big dose of "If you don't like it, there's the door" OP.

If he's someone who judges you on your body, then he's not someone you want.

End of.

RemainOptimistic · 17/12/2017 12:33

What Cheap said!

Original poster
Mulberrytree7 · 17/12/2017 12:36

I know you’re right, I know... but it doesn’t make it less scary!

OP posts:
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 17/12/2017 12:38

There's nothing to be scared of OP. You either click with him or you don't.

Don't settle for someone who isn't lovely. If he's a bit off or a bit SOMETHING, you move on.

No fear. You're just window shopping that's all.

ForagingForFaerieGold · 17/12/2017 12:39

In my experience, he's not going to care at all. I seriously doubt he's physically perfect anyway. He'll have his own hang ups. We all do.
Get to know each other for a bit before revealing all anyway, and by the time you do, you probably won't be as worried.
Have a lovely date .

Blackteadrinker77 · 17/12/2017 12:40

Do you think he looks like a Chippendale under his clothes?

No one is perfect, enjoy your date :)

Koala2018 · 17/12/2017 12:40

Ooh good luck with your date, it can seem so daunting if it's the first one in a while, let alone since having a baby!

Confidence is sexy, be proud of your body and keep the lights off until you feel comfortable/confident around him. He's going to be so happy that he's allowed the privileged of being in a no-clothed situation with you, he really won't be critiquing your body. Just enjoying it!

You're over thinking it, have a lovely first date!

Tinselistacky · 17/12/2017 12:44

Blacktea maybe he is thinking chipolata and worrying himself!!

sailorcherries · 17/12/2017 12:45

I felt the same way when I met my now OH. Although, at the time, I was a size 10 (how I wish that was the case now) my stretch marks went from my pubic bone up to the bottom of my rib cage all the way across my abdomen. My boobs were saggier and had marks, so did the backs of my arms and my knee caps. I was spectacularly huge with DS1 5 years prior.

I was 21 and he was 23. His only other girlfriend and sexual partner had no children and I assumed a better body than I did under our clothes.

I worried, I fretted, I felt nervous and sick over him seeing me naked. When he did he didn't bat an eyelid and I realised that if he truly likes you then it doesn't matter.

Original poster
Mulberrytree7 · 17/12/2017 12:55

Thank you everyone, I’m feeling a bit better about it!

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 17/12/2017 12:59

Trust me, he will be thinking the same, or even more so.
Especially as he could have 'size' worries :)

GladAllOver · 17/12/2017 13:00

As others said, it's a good test of whether he's worth bothering with. If he loves you he will love your body.

Frederickvonhefferneffer · 17/12/2017 13:03

If he is the one then he will love you as you are.
Also, you haven’t seen his imperfections yet! We all have them, he won’t be any different.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/12/2017 13:03

I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better.

It’s true that the vast majority of men are just happy to be having sex with you & aren’t actually as shallow as puddles. Any that are, well, it’s good to find out early. If he’s put off by a squishy tummy, I’d not trust him to be there for me if anything serious happened, so best binned early anyway. Try not to build it up in your mind. I find a —vat— glass of wine helps when it gets that far too!

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 17/12/2017 13:10

Baby steps Op, get the first few dates out of the way, see if you click first. He may never see you naked as he could be a prize winning dick or he may be the one, either way, he’s not seeing you naked on your first day (I hope he’s not anyway) and you say yourself, you dress to flatter your shape and size.

Top tip, when a woman sees herself naked she sees.
Fat
Cellulite
Stretch marks
Varicose veins
Flab
Bingo wings
The bits that need shaving.

When a man sees a woman naked he sees
Naked woman
Boobs
Pussy
Boobs
Bum
Naked woman
Boobs

MirriVan · 17/12/2017 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mulberrytree7 · 17/12/2017 13:53

Mirrivan that’s a really good point

OP posts:
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