Spending too much on kids?

[Fianceechickie]

Am so shocked. A 12 yr old student told me today that for Christmas, he's getting a Nintendo Switch, an Xbox one x and an LG TV. 'Plus loads of other stuff obviously'. It's not uncommon to hear that sort of thing from the students I teach but that really shocked me today (it's a regular comp school). Even if I could afford to buy my kids so much I wouldn't. These aren't the children of the mega rich so far as I can tell, just normal families. Makes me feel so cross! It's often the kids who have the worst attitude to school work too (as was the case with today's student). AIBU to think that's ridiculous?

Yes YABU. As long as it’s not affecting you, what’s the issue? Do children who do better at school deserve more?

Yes, it's ridiculous. I can't bear how competitively materialistic Christmas makes some people. I see people moaning on here about "buying presents for adults for the sake of it" and think the same about buying mindless crap for kids for the sake of it! Way to teach future generations nothing about the value of money...

Could he have parents who are separated and therefore gets 'big' presents from both sides?
It could just all be talk as well

YANBU. I know it really has nothing to do with me, but I worked with families that were on the breadline (so to speak) and so many of the kids had a great deal of money spent on them that I knew the parents could ill afford. It was heartbreaking. I doesn’t teach them the value of things, it puts parents in a difficult position with creditors and it starts a vicious circle of waste. Obviously we can all say well it’s none of your business. How does it effect you. But it does. It is very destructive socially both within families, communities and especially in micro communities like schools.

It's unlikely this is the first Christmas he's expecting so much, his parents must have indulged him over the years.
I'm assuming you're a teacher. Maybe a class discussion after Christmas about children who have very little for many reasons? Maybe it would be a nice thing to donate some of their unwanted possessions to the appropriate agencies, to give to these children (obviously with parents' knowledge)

12 year olds don't always tell the truth ...

My son's getting and x box 1 a phone and a second hand psp and something for his tv its his birthday on boxing day so these are birthday and Xmas presents hes also doing crap at school(mild learning disabilities ) I hate this attitude on here and all the judging about what people do or do not buy for their kids .

And this is why our planet doesn't stand a chance.

My ds is getting a couple of big ticket items from us this year as well as other bits. It’s no one else business what we buy him/how much we spend on him. He wants them and we can afford them.

I’d be pretty pissed off if a teacher started telling my children to donate their presents like black suggests. My children know there are others who will have less and those who have more and we give things to people less fortunate anyway without a teacher adding pressure to do so on a child.

Because 12 year olds never exaggerate anything...

I don't get the angst over what people spend their salaries on. Some buy lots of alcohol, others smoke, others buy Christmas presents.

I did not think he was lying/exaggerating. It was only said to me, no peers around to impress. I see such a sense of entitlement among so many of the kids I teach. It's depressing. Its nothing to do with how well they're doing academically. I don't think kids doing better deserve more. It just grates on me that so many kids who don't work hard, have a lazy attitude, don't do homework, don't worry about results, then receive the so much stuff! Totally not my business about individual children but I do wonder how this is helping them grow up into hard working grown ups who know the value of things.

I'm fairly gobsmacked at the reactions to this. This is why the planet won't survive? Wtf?

Why on earth do you care? It has zero to do with you and none of your business. Would you be this wound up at the presents rich families give? Or is this related to their working class status and therefore if they're not slumming it with a £10 bike off eBay they must be a) bad parents b) in loads of debt and c) irresponsible. Bet you don't worry about Araminta getting a pony she can only see once before her ski holiday in les gats.

YABU

Presents at Christmas should not be dependent upon attitude to homework

On here I find its those that seem able to afford it the most that judge the most and insist they are only spending £50 etc they forget all the stuff they buy during the year and all the extra clubs etc they pay for but sneer at other people who can't afford extras pushing the boat out a bit a Xmas.

I never said the family was rich or poor. I don't know. They seem normal to me! I doubt they're working class is all I will say but there's no judgement here about what different classes of people should spend. I just think, whoever you are £700 ish on main presents alone is too much and sends the wrong message to the kids.

You made a point of saying they're not mega rich - in which case presumably £700 would be ok. There is absolutely an underlying judgement about them knowing their place. It has nothing to do with you at all

@x2boys spot on!
It's like a mumsnet middle class competition to see who can spend the less at Christmas. You wouldn't think twice if the same family were spending that per person on an all inclusive holiday in August, so why is it such a big deal in December? At least the Xbox, PS4 And tv last longer then a week and maybe that's how they view it?
Stop being so judgemental

Quite hash .

Agree x2boys

Stop judging OP.

YANBU it's vulgar but not really your business. Maybe focus on actually teaching your students?

And this is why our planet doesn't stand a chance.

Forget Donny, Kim, climate change, etc. The real threat to the planet are 12 year olds getting game consoles for Christmas.

YABU, OP. What parents choose to spend on their children at Christmas is none of your business.

I think it’s insane personally, but generally don’t care how other people spend their money.

It just grates on me that so many kids who don't work hard, have a lazy attitude, don't do homework, don't worry about results, then receive the so much stuff!

That's life though sadly. Adults that don't work get everything handed to them, make expensive choices etc. It seems part of culture now.

MN can be weird when it comes to Christmas, frugality seems to be high on the agenda. Real life tends not to imitate that.