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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think ex is acting Weird?

13 replies

inmyshoos · 12/12/2017 23:31

Until recently exh would text fairly often (we have dc) and offer cups of tea etc at drop off with dc. To the point he was a pain in the arse. I made it clear we were never getting back together (he'd said something to a mutual friend that suggested he thought we might) now in past month he is constantly letting the dc down, not responding to messages, pissing about with arrangements always saying he 'has plans and now he has deactivated his fb account despite previously being on it loads. Aibu to think he is playing some sort of game? Or just trying to be as awkward as possible!

OP posts:
NameChangedAndForgotOldName · 12/12/2017 23:33

I would assume he's met someone tbh

Original poster
inmyshoos · 12/12/2017 23:43

I would feel like id received a 'get out of Jail free card' if that were the case!!!! Fingers crossed!!!

OP posts:
Frederickvonhefferneffer · 12/12/2017 23:55

He’s met someone else

DeadMorose · 12/12/2017 23:59

He’s met someone else and possibly blocked you on fb. So you wouldn’t see the relationship status.

BlackeyedSusan · 13/12/2017 00:04

another vote for met someone.

Eatalot · 13/12/2017 00:13

Send him a message calling out his behavior as letting ds down is not on. You could say im hoping this is be because you have met someone as you want him to move on and be happy but our dc deserves to come first.

Its odd though if you have made it clear you dont want to be with him. Arw you sure after mutual friend conversation he realised you didnt want to get back together and is a bit heartbroken. So is now cutting you out of his life as much as he can.

Either way confront him dc comes first.

ReanimatedSGB · 13/12/2017 00:19

It depends how much of a dick he is/was. If he's basically OK but you were just not compatible then maybe he is a bit sad that you are definitely not getting back together (this does not mean you did anything wrong, just that he's sad and should get over it in time).
If he was always selfish then he possibly has met another woman.
If he was controlling/arrogant/ a fanny rat then he might be trying to make you think he has met another woman and make you jealous...

StarWarsFanatic · 13/12/2017 00:35

He's met someone else. Not an excuse for messing about when it comes to plans with the DCs though.

PutUpWithRain · 13/12/2017 00:37

He's met someone else. My ex did exactly the same. I was hugely relieved for me, but ex consistently let down the DC for months after he met his new OH. Gird your loins, OP, he's going to be a Shit Dad for a while, and your DC will be hurt and confused by it.

TBH, I think my ex was deliberately obvious about it to try and goad me into getting jealous - was never going to work. He's still with his new OH, so at least that worked out. It did make me readjust my expectations of him though - I knew the DC would never come first for him, so I had to pick up the slack, and point out to him times when he'd let them down. I no longer gave a fuck about maintaining a friendship with him once I knew he put his happiness over their security Smile

Original poster
inmyshoos · 13/12/2017 16:08

Definitely selfish. Type who is never single. Like he needs to be with someone. I think he would be reluctant to admit he was seeing someone as he likes playing the victim card. Very wow is me!

I don't give a flying fig if he is seeing someone but I don't want him messing dc around. Tbh they are not bothered. At the moment they moan when they do have to go see him because he doesn't do anything with them and they get bored. But given he is the adult and if it were me is be pulling out all the stops to keep the relationship with my kids strong. It's very disappointing but I already feel that if he starts seeing someone then that person will be come his priority.
So sad for the dc.

OP posts:
Original poster
inmyshoos · 13/12/2017 16:09

Woe is me not wow Grin although I reckon he thinks he's a bit wow too Wink

OP posts:
PutUpWithRain · 16/12/2017 00:09

It always rains harder on my ex than it does on anyone else shoes Wink

It was really hard seeing the DC crumble a bit when they knew their dad had the whole weekend free, but only gave them a few hours, because he prioritised his new GF over them, but lied to me about it, because he knew people would judge him for starting a new relationship so quickly. And yeah, he's not been single for longer than six weeks in over 20yrs, so... (we were together for over 16yrs).

It took him less than six months to move in with his new partner, so my DC now have a stepmother I've never met, and know nothing about (I'm not curious about her, but it is a bit weird that my DC spend some weekends with a stranger). It did mess my DC up for a bit, but they've just come to rely on me more. And my family no longer get the hassle from him they once did, so that's all to the good Smile

And my ex definitely thinks he's VERY wow Wink

Killdora · 16/12/2017 00:16

This may be a bit far out there but...I did have an ex that did this sort of thing once.

He wanted me to think he had another woman, because apparently that would be all it took for me to leap back into his loving —tosser— arms.

He also deleted Facebook etc. Really went all out trying to look like he was hiding something.

I was quite bemused when a mutual friend let me know that ex was mystified that his bullet proof plan wasn’t working 😂

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