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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To DD (aged 7) having short, curly hair

39 replies

PinPon · 07/12/2017 10:12

My DD (aged 7) has curly hair, similar to the photos (not actually my DD). She dislikes having it brushed, braided or fussed over, so it is frequently messy. She’s expressed an interest in having it short.

AIBU to take her to a hairdresser and let them cut it all off? Will she / I suffer from terrible regret or will it be the best thing ever? (We have tried the curly girl method, but it still gets knotty if not braided.)

And if I’m not being unreasonable - do you have any tips to get a suitable cut for her at the hairdressers? Thanks!

OP posts:

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 07/12/2017 10:14

Do it, short hair is cute and it will grow again anyway

MikeUniformMike · 07/12/2017 10:16

Cut it short, if that's what she wants.

Gladstone123 · 07/12/2017 10:17

I had similar hair at that age and it was a nightmare - I hated having it brushed as it was painful. I had it all cut off and was able to get on with having a fun childhood that did not revolve around my hair! If she really wants to do it, let her. It's ONLY HAIR, it will grow back, and she will be beautiful whatever style she has I am sure.

rcit · 07/12/2017 10:18

Your dd is 7yo which is far far too young to have to have any discomfort arising from hair. In fact I would say any age shouldn't have discomfort from hair. I would without a doubt get it cut. She will feel liberated and her head will feel so relaxed.

stickygotstuck · 07/12/2017 10:18

Hair is hair. She can grow it back if she doesn't like it.

rcit · 07/12/2017 10:19

I'd get it cut such that it needs no hairbands or clips and can just hang loose and comfortably.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 07/12/2017 10:19

Do you have curly hair yourself OP. I read somewhere that curly hair needs to be treated differently to straight/wavy hair (although I can’t remember where I read this).
I would cut it if that’s what she wants. It’ll grow back so no real harm if it turns out to be the wrong decision

Glumglowworm · 07/12/2017 10:21

Let her get it cut, she’s old enough to understand that it will take time to grow again if she changes her mind and she’s old enough to decide how she wants her own hair.

No advice on style though as I have no experience of curly hair

UserX · 07/12/2017 10:40

Cut it. My 9yo has had her unruly thick wavy hair chopped into a long pixie and it’s gorgeous, really suits her. And so easy, she can wash & brush it herself now that there’s so much less of it!

The trick is to find a hairdresser that will give her a proper cut. We looked on Pinterest & saved some styles & the hairdresser was able to suggest what would suit dd best.

roconnell · 07/12/2017 10:40

What beautiful hair! But I might be a bit biased
Let DD have her hair however is comfortable and feels best to her. Curly hair tends to get curlier the shorter it is though - when it's longer the weight pulls the curl out and when it's shorter it lacks weight and can spring up more tightly. My very very curly hair is much easier longer than when it's short. Also consider getting it cut when it's dry, if it's cut when it's wet it's hard to guage length as this type of hair behaves so differently when wet, otherwise DD might loose more than she bargained for!

Kokeshi123 · 07/12/2017 10:58

Nothing wrong with short curly hair, but you either want a shortish bob (so, not too short, like jawline length) or SHORT short (and kept that way, which means frequent cuts). Anything in between turns into a dodgy "mummy perm" look.

Kokeshi123 · 07/12/2017 10:58

She's terribly cute, by the way!

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 07/12/2017 13:28

The OP said that wasn’t her daughter

Stickerrocks · 07/12/2017 13:32

DD15 has had a jaw length ringlet bob forever. There are probably less than a dozen girls with short hair in her year group, but she loves it and it suits her. I've never had anything other than a short crop myself. Long hair is SOOOOO dull! If your DD wants it, you won't regret it.

BenLui · 07/12/2017 13:32

How could you possibly be unreasonable?

It’s just hair, if she changes her mind she can grow it again.

PilarTernera · 07/12/2017 13:34

YANBU to let her do what she wants with her hair. If it turns out she has regrets, just let it grow again. As pp say, it's only hair.

Unnoticed · 07/12/2017 13:36

Just don't go too short - it will spring up. I speak from experience...

diddl · 07/12/2017 13:39

Ooh that hair is gorgeous!

No tips, sorry!

NoelNiki · 07/12/2017 13:45

I have curly hair just like that.

Under no circumstances cut it short. It doesn't have the weight to hold it down and will stand on end. Curly hair also grows in a spiral and so will not just grow back quickly if she doesn't like it. It will take a very long time.

My mother also hadnt a clue how to deal with my hair. She caused me immense distress every morning tearing my hair out with combs and brushes. Until I got older and learnt to deal with it myself properly.

You cannot brush curly hair. I havent owned a hair brush since my late teens.

The only way to deal with curly hair like that is to wash it and leave it. Wash it and comb through with a wide tooth or afro comb gently to remove the knots. Then apply leave in conditioner to the ends and dry naturally. That is the only way to manage it.

Ditch the hair brushes or any kind of dry brushing or combing. Wet combing is the only way.

NoelNiki · 07/12/2017 13:46

Hair like that is not hard to manage if you know how and should not cause pain if deal with properly.

GiBlues · 07/12/2017 14:44

Can I just ask my DD is the same age and she hates having her hair brushed but she needs her hair tied up for school every day so does anyone have any suggestions what to with it? Even when she has her hair down at the weekends by the evening it’s knotted especially underneath I’m at a loss of what to do!

rcit · 07/12/2017 15:18

Cut it into a bob

Original poster

PinPon · 11/12/2017 10:15

Thanks all for the comments. I’ve asked a curly haired friend for a hairdresser recommendation. We’ll go to the hairdressers together and talk to her about options before getting it cut.

DD’s hair takes ages to grow, so feel the need to carefully consider it. On the other hand, her brother has a short, low maintenance haircut and I can definitely see the attraction!

OP posts:

agentdaisy · 11/12/2017 18:14

You definitely need recommendations from friends with similar hair to your dd. As pp have said cutting curly hair is very different to cutting straight hair. Curly hair like that in the photo can end up 4 or 5 inches shorter when it dries if you have the usual wet cut as I found out to my horror as a teen, it took forever to grow to a nice length. It can also end up looking like a triangle if not cut properly.

My hair was a pita when I was younger as my mum didn't know how to handle it. Now I brush it before washing it and use loads of conditioner when I wash it. I finger comb it and scrunch it when I get out of the shower and then don't touch it when dry or it goes frizzy. The next day I spray with some water and scrunch it but never brush or comb it unless I'm about to wash it.

JustDanceAddict · 11/12/2017 18:19

My dd (15) has really curly long hair. I kept it shoulder length when she was younger using products for Afro hair, which you can buy in Boots or online.
I also used to spray detangler and plait it wet or twist sections of it into ringlets. Important to find a decent hairdresser too.

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