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Original poster

Not throwing a 1st birthday party

41 replies

dray9925 · 05/12/2017 19:42

So ds birthday is the 28th December it's his first birthday, me and my oh did talk about doing a party at a soft play or something but a few days ago we got given a council place which means now we are really tight on money and I'm not sure I can afford to hire somewhere. We have sorted his birthday and Christmas presents so that's not a worry it's just the party, I was thinking of just having immediate family over for a little while to celebrate.
I feel guilty because oh cousin had a baby a few weeks after us and has planned this huge celebration should I be doing that for my little boy as well?

OP posts:
Unihorn · 05/12/2017 19:43

I had immediate family over for a couple of hours, and did party food and a cake. Didn't see the point of a huge fuss at 1!

elQuintoConyo · 05/12/2017 19:46

No! Family at home, some tea and cake. Ta-da!

Imvho the most important things at a 1st birthday party are photos of family with birthday child and eating cake. It can be super informal and last a couple of hours.

Or host an immediate-family-only lunch then have cake after.

You know the child isn't going to remember a damn thing about the day!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 05/12/2017 19:48

Our boy turns 1 next month. We're having immediate family over for a tea party and asking everyone to bring something for the table. Gonna buy a cake and candle, be done and dusted in 90 minutes. Soft plays are neither use nor ornament to a bunch of 1 year olds!

drinkyourmilk · 05/12/2017 19:51

We will have a family lunch - probably buffet style and produce a couple of balloons with cake at the end. Expect it will be the same for birthdays 2 + 3 too!

soundsystem · 05/12/2017 19:51

Birthday parties are really wasted on one year olds! Little party at home with some cake is plenty, really!

cariadlet · 05/12/2017 19:53

We had a birthday tea for us (me and DP), our dd and her grandparents. Absolutely pointless doing any more for a 1st birthday. One year olds don't even know what a birthday is.

Kpo58 · 05/12/2017 19:54

My DD just got some presents for her 1st birthday, no party or special tea.

Though that was due to her birthday being on a weekday and her at nursery. Also at that point in time, she wouldn't have been able to really eat cake or other party food, so a party would have been rather pointless for her, not that she would remember it.

I'll try to do something when she turns 2...

NerrSnerr · 05/12/2017 19:55

We didn’t do any kind of party until my daughter understood at age 3 and then we just had friends round our house where they all charged around for 2 hours. It’s not worth spending a fortune when so young as they won’t remember it.

BrawneLamia · 05/12/2017 19:56

If you really want a party, could you do a joint one with the cousin? Agree with everyone that it isn't necessary at 1 (or 2 or 3).

AvoidingDM · 05/12/2017 19:57

Grannies and Aunties around for cake and candles is a party in my book!

If you have some older children ( cousin's etc) I'd be tempted to do a couple of party games (musical status, pass the parcel) even if it means roping some adults in to make up numbers. But no I wouldn't be hiring a hall or soft play for a baby.

44PumpLane · 05/12/2017 19:57

My twins turned 1 last week, their Christening was the weekend after (the weekend just gone) to which we were having 130 people (ffs)!!!

For their birthday we put them in a fancy "my 1st birthday" top and the grandparents came round to see them and give them presents.

The babies were not at all bothered as they just enjoyed seeing grandparents and playing with wrapping paper and the fivers worth of helium balloons I'd bought.

To be fair we had gone all out by sending a pretty awesome home made card off to CBeebies which was read out so we still felt pretty damn smug with ourselves Grin

Katescurios · 05/12/2017 19:59

My LG is 3 and hasn't had any parties, we do a day out instead with grandparents. Nothing big, we went to a kids museum at 1, a zoo at 2 and a big softplay 360 playzone thing at 3.

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 05/12/2017 20:01

Oh god no we didn't! What's the point? It's for you, not them. They don't know or remember.

We had the family round for some tea and cake when they gave DD her presents. She played only with the paper and people, she couldn't have given a monkeys about anything else she was just excited to see her grandparents and uncles.

I'm not doing a proper party for her second birthday either! We'll be having family round again. Plenty of time for actual parties once they are school age and have friends they want to celebrate with.

EllieMentry · 05/12/2017 20:01

A first birthday celebration is for you, rather than your baby. Do what you want and what you can afford.

extinctspecies · 05/12/2017 20:04

There is absolutely no need for a birthday party for a 1 year old.

If people want to celebrate it however they like it's up to them.

Thishatisnotmine · 05/12/2017 20:06

Had family over for dds first birthday. Had food and cake and wore party hats. The idea of a big party sounds exhausting - and it is. You just get tired, grumpy children. Do larger parties when they are bigger and know what is going on. Open some presents, sing happy birthday, take photos, upstairs for a nap!

SammySays · 05/12/2017 20:09

Not at all unreasonable! We had family over one day and another day I hosted a little play date at our home for my DD’s little friends from our various playgroups/classes. No need to

kaytee87 · 05/12/2017 20:15

We just had immediate family over for cake and a cold lunch buffet thing. Tbh I know it's a bit judgemental but I always roll my eyes when people organise huge parties for babies.

RavenWings · 05/12/2017 20:16

God no, yanbu. What is a one year old really going to get out of it? Do what suits you.

IMightMentionGriddlebone · 05/12/2017 20:19

A child of that age has no idea what a birthday is, so what makes the perfect birthday for a one-year-old is exactly the same as what would have made an ordinary day perfect the week before! The birthday thing is only relevant to you. You won't be letting him down if you don't have a party. Rather the reverse- one-year-olds tend to find the length and intensity of a typical children's party overwhelming. It all ends in tears. And that's just the parents- when they realise how much they've spent for a baby who has ignored all the toys and spent half the event asleep!

Cake, a number of small balloons, close relatives coming round- perfect day for a 12 month old. Job's a good 'un.

Normandy144 · 05/12/2017 20:25

Not at all unreasonable. Always just did sandwiches, cake and tea for family at our house. The most effort I've been to is that I've always made their cakes from scratch. We also then do a 'day out' of their choice so something like a zoo or peppa pig world. That's been the routine for my eldest's first 3 birthdays and then when she was 4 we invited some pre school friends round for a glorified play date at home. Keep it cheap for as long as you can get away with I say! We've said she can have a proper party for her 5th birthday. A 1 year old won't care or remember so really you are only doing it for you, and if other things need to take priority financially at the moment then don't beat yourself up about it.

OhOurBilly · 05/12/2017 20:34

We did a bit of buffet and cake for aunties and grandma's. DS couldn't have given a shiny shite, his hands down best moment was my dad giving him his first (and last for a while!) Chocolate button! He ate it, looked absolutely delighted and then clapped and said hooray Grin definitely get a helium balloon though, we've had a solid week and a half worth of fun out of ours so far.

StripeyDeckchair · 05/12/2017 20:44

He's 1!
He has no idea it's his birthday
He won't remember what you do on his birthday
He's highly likely to be overwhelmed by anything too OTT, a small family party will probably suit him better than a huge party.

Moving into a secure permanent home is far more important for you DS long term future.

Enjoy a small party and enjoy your new home.

BlackberryandNettle · 05/12/2017 20:47

Save your money! We did grandparents round for cake and a bit if birthday tea for 1st birthdays, it was fine and also so much easier! X

Dahlietta · 05/12/2017 21:08

We thought it was important (for us, not him!) to mark DS's first birthday. We invited all his grandparents out for the day to a local garden. DS had a lovely hour or so toddling around looking at flowers and playing with his grandparents and we took some nice pictures. I don't think you need to do anything big or expensive, just something nice. Certainly don't bother with a big party - we got away with no party until he was 5 (4 was a bit of a stretch).

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