DH’s Noisy Bloody Breathing

[KitNCaboodle]

OMG. Has he always breathed like this and I’ve never noticed? It’s driving me absolutely insane. The worst of it is that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Says I’m hearing things. Yes dear... All I’m fucking hearing is your fucking breathing!
How have his colleagues not throttled him? Is there a cure? Please don’t say I’ll be listening to this for all eternity.

A cushion placed over his head at bedtime.

We will all give you an alibi op.

Thanks Tinsel. Alibi + diminished responsibility will see me a free woman.
The only problem is, who’ll keep my feet warm in bed or do midnight runs to get chocolate.

Oh dear. Always the beginning of the end for me, that.

Are you hormonal or due on or even just run down and tired?I find I am more sensitive to noises at these times.

Does he have any health issues! My DH has sinuse problems and his breathing more noticeable when he has a cold coming or is ill

Get him to see his GP, it could be due to asthma or an allergy. Or invest or ask for a large heavy implement for Christmas. If you are driven to use it, make sure of an alibi.

Seriously though, my DH has asthma and I am very aware of his breathing at times and normally means he's having a bit of a tough time with it. Losing some weight has helped though.

My DH always turns to me and breathes right in my face.
Do you need a cell mate OP?

Regular conversation in my house goes like this:

'You're doing it again. Stop it.'
'Stop what?'
'BREATHING.'

This being Mumsnet, there might be someone along shortly to say how much they miss their aunt's cousin's dog's noisy breathing and we should all be grateful.

I'd like to preempt that by going NO.

I hear you (not breathing!)

We had an almighty row last night because DP snores like a bastard 747 on takeoff. I wake him up because he's woken me up, and then he goes mad. So my choices are, lie awake, have him mad at me and storm off to the sofa, or try to sleep on the sofa at 22 weeks pregnant (it's a very soft sofa so really uncomfortable for a heavy bump on one side).

Ear plugs don't drown it out but even if they did I'd be worried about not hearing DD on the monitor or my alarm at 6.30am.

We are moving to a bigger house soon but I don't WANT separate bedrooms; that doesn't feel like a relationship. But what else do you do?? :(((