To ask for bedroom secrets?

[brightandsunnyday]

Flagrant attempt to catch traffic, so here goes...

DH and I are not good sleepers, and currently can't even share a room as the lack of sleep impacts so much. Sadly we don't have a spare bedroom to make this work long-term, so we're looking into how to set up our bedroom to improve our chances of good sleep.

We were considering pushing 2 beds together to make more sleeping space and hopefully overcome the problem of a single mattress (king size) sagging into the middle and us ending up squashed together with no mattress support and too hot. We've currently got a decent king size part sprung, part memory foam mattress on a wooden slatted bed frame.

What works for you in bed? Is it the bed frame causing the sagging? If you push 2 singles together, what do you do for bed linen? Is there linen that would work for pushing 2 larger beds together? I don't really want separate duvets as I'd like to be able to reach him in bed (and don't want a "gap" between duvets that would be cold!)

Really interested to hear what works for others in bed! Thanks!

There are beds that link together
johnryanbydesign.co.uk/understanding-beds/all-about-zip-and-links-2-2/

If your mattress is sagging in the middle you need a new bed! DH and I had this issue when we first moved into our house and it was awful - we normally have no problems sleeping but neither of us slept until we'd sorted it. It was horrendous!

Sorry, sent too soon. I suspect a new decent bed frame would sort you out.

It sounds like you need a new mattress and bed frame. We have a Superking divan base, two single mattresses with a superking sized topper and sheet to join them together. No sagging and partner tossing and turning doesn't disturb you because of separate mattresses. Also you can roll far enough away that it feels like you are in bed alone and starfish to your hearts content.

A superking is what you need with either zip and link mattress or a high count pocket sprung. I've had a superking for years and sleep terrible if we ever have to share a double. In a super king which I have 3 pillows across we have the neutral middle zone were we meet for a cuddle and then our sides to turn over on to should we get to hot or require space. When moving I discounted houses that couldn't fit a superking and would never go back to a smaller bed.

I've just got rid of a king size and got two small doubles instead (they only just fit the gap but in all it's now 8ft of bed!)

We have separate duvets of course, and a bit of a gap, but because they're both bigger than a single, we can get together in one of them for cuddles and then hop into our own one for sleeping. It's bliss. doesn't help with the snoring though

It depends on the reasons you don't sleep well.

If you disturb each other, moving snoring, getting hot, then you really don't want to be in the same bed or even with joined together mattresses. A pair of single beds with a small gap would be better, you can still reach over and could push them closer or further apart depending on what you wanted to do.

Individual bedding would also be better for sleep purposes, there would be no movement if one of you moved and took the duvet with them.

I can't sleep with someone else in the bed, and over the years have (in hotels) slept in singles which can be joined together, with individual covers and that has worked best. I have also slept on a mattress on the floor in desperation, next to the kingsize bed that we were given in error. I find that the slightest movement wakes me, or fart, cough, sneeze, twitch...

Oh yes, we have struggled through this. Much better now.
: two singles pushed together with own choice of mattress/topper on each.
: separate duvets
: really thick curtains for dark and quiet
: earplugs for him
: in-pillow radio for me
: regular bedtimes
: no screens upstairs
: no late dinners

I sleep much better with separate duvets as I don't feel him moving about - we have new king size matress

2 single mattresses on a super king bed frame. One super King sheet, 2 separate single duvets. Stops the entire bed shaking when one of you rolls over, stops duvet stealing, but the sheet stops the mattresses moving apart. I have never tried a zip & link one but I am very curious!

Sounds like you defo need a new mattress first of all. But do reconsider separate duvets, it has been a revelation for us. No more draughts when husband turns over, no duvet stealing and inadvertently laying on it so I can't pull it back. There's no gap because two singles measure more than a kingsize. In previous winters when using a king size duvet I have had a blanket on my side of the bed too in winter as Mr Cake likes a summer duvet all year round but I like to be cosier. This year I have my own winter duvet and it is heaven, my back ache has gone and I realised I was getting chilled in the night and not even aware of it. Better sleep all round. When we figure out the snoring from each of us, I'll let you know.

I have had a zipped mattress (king or super, can't remember now) and the problem with being zipped is that you feel movement, really needs to be un-zipped and not touching.

This is eye opening! Thank you so much everyone for your advice!

My concern with 2 duvets is surely when you want to cuddle you end up in the draughty middle zone with no covers?!

Does a super king fitted sheet for over 2 singles? Presumably there's no fitted sheet that would cover 2 doubles together? If separate sheets then surely cuddles would = falling into a crevice?!

You just pick a side for cuddles and then move back to your own half for actual peaceful restful sleeping! I'm not much of a hugger in bed, can't be doing with spooning etc so it doesn't bother me, but I guess if you're used to rolling over and hugging in the night you might fall down the gap! For me, all the snuggling is done in the evening on the sofa and then very purposefully in bed. Sleepy time is a serious business not to be interfered with!