to feel a bit miffed?

[RockyisMYRhino]

It's my first birthday as a mum today and while I didn't expect a massive fuss, I did want a card from DS and a lie in if possible (DH told me last week he had booked today and tomorrow off work). I ended up cuddling DS back to sleep after a 4am wake up before he woke up for the day at 6.30. DH went and made his bottle then came back upstairs and gave it to me to give him while he laid in bed chatting. He then fell back asleep until 9.30 while I got up and took DS downstairs. He also went back to bed at about 3.30 for a nap as he 'is tired'. It's now nearly 5pm and I still haven't had a card from either of them. AIBU to feel a bit annoyed?

YANBU to be annoyed but YABU if you if you did raise this with him at the time.

You have the power to change your life.

I wouldn't be a 'bit annoyed', I'd be really angry. Why on Earth do people settle for and procreate with people who cannot be arsed? I'd take off and book a hotel for tonight since he has tomorrow off. Not even a card, much less a gift or a cake or a meal out. Wow! Your h is a dick.

I did say when he told me that he had booked the day off that it would be lovely to have a lie in on my birthday but he forgot about it this morning.
I have had a present from them, I just really wanted a card from my DS as it's my first birthday as a mum

He didn't forget.

Yanbu at all. Moreover, I admire the fact that you are "a bit miffed", and not "devestated", "fuming" or "heartbroken" as so many MNers are.

Happy birthday, hope he tries to make it up to you

open your mouth and articulate your feelings.

I never really know how this happens, surely when your baby needed to get up you should have shoved him and told him 'off you go'?

I get that it is frustrating he wasn't more eager/on the ball but that doesn't mean you need to be a doormat.

YANBU but what did he say when you asked him to stop chatting and take the baby downstairs, so you could enjoy your lie-in?

Did he refuse?

Also, what has he said about the lack of cards?

He fell asleep while I was feeding DS and he was completely dead to the world so there was no point in trying to wake him up as he'd only have been grumpy for the rest of the day (not what I wanted on my birthday).
With the cards, he apparently had been trying to get a nice photo of me and DS to put on a card but couldn't get one he liked enough. He has bought me a card from him (he sent me out of WHSmiths while we were in town earlier) but he still hasn't given it to me

Fuck that, I’d have woken him up, handed the baby to him and said “it’s my birthday and I want a lie in”. Only I wouldn’t have had to with DP because he’s not a dick.

I am assuming if the house was on fire you would have woken him up? Next time, act like the house is on fire. Nip this is the bid now or you will have birthday after birthday of disappointment.

His excuses are terrible. He didn't forget and it wasn't about finding the perfect photo, he just couldn't be bothered or didn't think it was important enough to put him out.

In a non-accusatory way, your excuses for him are also terrible. You deserve more than this!

Why couldn't he have fed the baby after sorting the bottle out? Should have passed the baby to him and said go and feed him downstairs so I can have my birthday lie in and I'll see you both a bit later or something along those lines, then he wouldn't of had the chance to doze back off and leave you holding the baby and therefore having to get up with the baby. Just be a bit more assertive if needs be or it sounds like you'll forever be getting disappointed!

I don't think a card "from the baby" is necessary. I think that's a bit silly. But you should have had a card from DH and a lie-in and he should have looked after the baby.

Happy birthday for yesterday.

Is DH up with the baby now or you?

It's now nearly 5pm and I still haven't had a card from either of them

This is really odd phrasing and you’ve repeated the sentiment that you really wanted your DS to give you something as it’s your first birthday as a mother - so your DS is under a year old. He’s not capable of doing that himself, obviously, so simply ask your DP and stop stewing about it.

What happened in the end? Did you get your card?

Yes I did eventually get cards from them both and we got a takeaway to celebrate. He did also apologise for falling asleep in the morning and let me have a lie in the next day. DS woke up at 5.45 and he got straight up and took him downstairs so I managed to sleep until 8.30!!!

My partner was crap at birthdays etc for the first couple of years. Sorry to say, you just have to train him up. Speak about it in the year beforehand. Let him see how you deal with other people's birthdays so he can see how it is. Not everyone does these things the same - you have to start your own traditions with him which he will enjoy too. These days, I get a Mothers Day card and present from the animals! Dp also gets excited at Christmas and wants US to put the tree up etc - he's completey involved and into it. Believe me, he wasn't always like this. People can change. :)