Expected to do everything

[summer25]

OK ... so I’m really just on here to have a moan.

I work 4 days a week and am generally home around 4pm. My DC have busy lives so it’s often a rush for tea, homework and then out to whatever club is on that day. It’s often 10pm before I sit down after I’ve finished chores, ironing etc My DH works full time and is generally home around 7pm.

I don’t go out much but last night had arranged to meet my DF for pizza and the cinema. I made sure tea was ready for everyone and cooking utensils washed and put away. When I got home at around 11pm last night, dishes from tea/supper had still not been washed up and the table hadn’t properly been cleared. My DH was watching the TV.

So this morning, I got up very early to take my DD to a book signing 50 miles away and left DH and DS. They were due to leave 3 hours later to watch a sports game. Anyway, just returned home with an hour before the next activity to find the dishes still there and even the bed hasn’t been made properly.

I am bloody sick of being treated like a general dogsbody and think my DH has been really selfish leaving all this mess? I think he thinks because I work “PT” that it’s my job to do everything. We have had several discussions in the past and he has promised to change but we’re still in the same position.

Would you be annoyed if this was you and what are your DH’s expectations?

Oh and if I do say anything I’m accused of nagging!

Yes I lived through this myself, and was very annoyed!
Time to get tough.
Assuming DH was home to look after the DC, you didn't need to prepare tea for them. Next time you go out, don't sort stuff out for them, let him do it. I don't know how old your DC are ( primary age)? but presumably they are capable of clearing the the table and stacking the dishwasher?
It's very hard, but you have to be tough, like Pengggwn says.
Just refuse to do anything until they have all cleared up. And keep doing it. No need to have a scene, just say " I can't cook the dinner/give you a lift/facilitate whatever it is you need/ until the kitchen is clean." Might be an idea to take yourself off out at that point for an hour or so, or lock yourself in the bathroom.

On a separate point, why are you ironing?? Children don't need ironed clothes, the uniforms all have polyester content so you don't have to iron them. DH can do his own. That leaves yours, and there can't be much of that.