To buy myself a present for her birthday instead?

[ShiftyLookingBadger]

In brief, my sister borrowed a beloved film of mine YEARS ago. If I ever mention the prospect of her returning it she basically implies that I'm being petty and dramatic. She then proceeds to forget to bring it back. She then "returned it" but it was a different film with a similar name, I think bought second hand off ebay or something!

I'm thinking it's lost forever, however her birthday is coming up at the end of November. Considering I am in my 40's, would I be childish to buy myself the film again instead of buying her a birthday present? I wouldn't be so harsh if perhaps her attitude was remorseful about it but the fact that she has dragged this out for years and then made a crap attempt at replacing it has just pissed me right off! Not to mention making me feel pathetic for even asking for it back. Our relationship is good but fairly distant mostly. AIBU??

P.S. Well aware that this is a 1st world problem

YANBU

How much does it cost?
What film is it?

Yes, you would be incredibly childish. Buy yourself the film and her a birthday present and get over it.

It’s a film. Sounds rather childish to me!

YABU

You'd certainly make your point but I'm not sure I'd risk ruining someone's birthday over a DVD. Maybe ruining is a bit strong but to have a go on her birthday seems pretty mean-spirited.

A simple I'll never lend you anything again if the subject arises should suffice.

This is a bit pathetic its a film!

Buy her a copy of the film on DVD.

YABU

You sound very petty, OP

Just buy yourself the film and get her a present as normal.

But if she wants to borrow anything else in future, say no!

I'd just buy it again, aren't most old DVDs about £5? And we need to know the film, obviously

Have you never heard of Amazon video or iTunes ?

I knew I could rely on MN for brutal honesty. Point taken!

Don't want to state the film in case of outing and it's not at all intended for kids/teenagers rather than 40 year olds but you can buy it on blu ray (which is what I had) for £10 cheapest on Amazon.

I will do that and suck it up... sigh

You can get DVD’s for a couple of quid on eBay. Time to let it go I think.

Most films can be bought for a couple of quid second hand off Amazon these days, so you’re both being a bit unreasonable in my mind, not worth putting a black cloud over her birthday for, but she could buy her own copy and give yours back.

I think shes either lost it or lent it to someone else ages ago and its vanished forever. She probably feels bad so doen't want to tell you what happened to it. This happens when you lend stuff to people. Just buy yourself another copy and forget about it. I think it is silly to not get her a birthday present though because of this. These things happen. Its only a dvd.

I think YWBU not to buy her a birthday present, but I know where you are coming from. Many years ago, DB bought me a boxed set of videos (I am ancient!) for Christmas. XH then lent them to his DS - before I had even taken the cellophane off the box! - and I never saw them again. Obviously, he didn't ask me before doing this. I was, and still am, furious. I could have replaced them, but I never did. The son had form for doing stuff like this, but XH could never see it.

I'd buy two copies - one for you, and one for her - "Because you like it so much, dear sister!"

How much do you usually spend on a birthday?

^^ definitely this buy two and give one to her. It's frozen isn't it? Let it go ...

I think more than anything it's her 'don't give a shit attitude' and lack of respect for other peoples belongings that bothers me, if she had put her hands up long ago saying she'd lost it and she was sorry (and preferably offered to replace it herself) that seems to be the normal thing to do right??

Littlecandle my sister also has form for this, she is notoriously selfish. The whole family knows this I'm sad to say but didn't think a DVD lending would be a problem honestly.

The DVD is also part of a boxset! Quite irritating to have 1 missing. But I will get over it

I’d have bought myself a new copy of the film a long long time ago and forgotten about it to be honest.

Nanna50 Not far off

Give her back the DVD she ‘returned’ to you as a present 😉

The DVD is also part of a boxset!

That would enrage me! A box-set with a missing DVD - I wouldn't be able to rest for knowing it was incomplete - even if I put it in a box, and weighted it with lead and dropped it in the Mariana Trench - I would still know and would never regain my peace of mind.

You could always buy it for your sister and say"Now you have your own copy, can I have mine back please?" (But I suspect that it got lost or damaged)

I am also desparate to know what film it is. Please, PLEASE pm me if you don't want to announce it publicly.

I swear I will not tell A SINGLE SOUL!