DH hanging up on me

[Mosquitoburrito]

I rang him when he was on the train to work because I was upset and very pissed off and the phone kept cutting out but I feel like he was just hanging up on me. When I texted to ask if he was he didn’t reply which leads me to conclude he was. I’m really fed up- AIBU?

I think that he is being genuine. I have had issues on the train before where my signal will suddenly drop...maybe he was going through a tunnel? He won't be able to receive your text message if he has no signal on his phone. If he does not call you back or text you back AFTER he has got off the train then I would be annoyed (unless he has to rush to a meeting).

To be honest, it's pretty difficult to have a conversation with someone who is pissed off with you when you are sitting on a busy train. I would suggest the tunnel cut him off but then he didn't bother to phone you back, and having just got off a train where I was shoulder to shoulder with five other people, I kind of don't blame him.

Train signal is awful for me, texts take forever to go through. Sometimes I Can call and sometimes it won't even connect.

He’s moving at high speed, the signal will drop.
Perhaps he also doesn’t want a carriage full of people eavesdropping

I think you are leaping to conclusions.
He genuinely could have a signal frequently cutting out in a train, or it could be busy and he feels uncomfortable having an overheard conversation with his upset wife. Give him time to get off the train and settled and then he can call you back.

Often on a train the signal will just go, happens often when I get a train from here.

Also let’s face it who wants to talk to some that is pissed off before you get to work, nobody needs to be stressed out by someone before they’ve even got to work.

Why not calm down today and speak to each other like adults tonight?

Were you pissed off with him?

If you were, and it was a standard domestic squabble, I would and have put the phone down meself. Ain't nobody got time for that on the rush hour train.

Yes I was pissed off...I’m heavily pregnant and was feeling let down by him forgetting to do the bare minimum to help me. I think you’re right that the signal dropped but I don’t feel that rational at the moment.

Theres probably not much he can do to help the situation on his way to work is there? Why don't you wait to discuss properly it when he gets home? Maybe you have a valid argument but he's a bit helpless on a busy train to work isn't he, what do you expect him to do?

Yeah, I’d hang up on that conversation too TBH. No-one needs to be having that on their way into work on a public train. That’s a conversation for this evening, face to face, when you’re less pissed off and not trying to tear him a new arsehole.

You were trying to talk with him, or have a fight?

What is ringing him on the way to work and bitching at him going to achieve? If I was in public and someone kept trying to ring me and start a row, I certainly wouldn't answer the phone to them and encourage it!

But, he's on a train. His signal won't be great and it will probably keep dropping out. Whenever I've been on a train, it will tell me I have signal, so I text or try and call, and it's dropped out or won't send, even if my phone is saying 5 bars.

Sort it out with him when he's at home, don't cause him hassle on his way to work when there's nothing he can do to solve the problem.

Phone conversations on trains are:
a, generally cut off due to lost signals
b, extremely annoying for everyone else on the train because the person often has to speak louder so the one on the other end can hear them
c, extremely annoying for the person conducting the call on the train because they're broadcasting their personal life
YABU for all of the above reasons. Have a conversation face to face when you may feel more rational anyway.

Just leave it until he comes back.

Someone trying to have a row with you on the phone while on a train is a nightmare and won't achieve anything for either of you.

What exactly is it you want him to do to help you?

Chill.

Just leave it til he gets home, ranting at him while he's on his way to work on public transport accomplishes absolutely nothing

I have never spoken to anyone on a train for more than 5 minutes without the signal cutting off. Never. And it's often no more than 2 minutes before it cuts off. I doubt he was cutting you off on purpose OP.

Tbh I wouldn't want a conversation with you on a packed train when you are spoiling for a fight.

The signal will be dropping in and out for starters.

Trains go through quite a few tunnels on most journeys, and the phone will almost always cut off when it's in a tunnel.

I think the real issue is him doing the bare minimum.

That's better discussed in person with no distractions.

Has he left everything to you?

Phone calls on trains are very tricky, they always cut out. The only calls possible are ‘I’m on the train!’ type calls.

They are also very annoying to other passengers. People should stick to texts when possible IMO.

Wait until he’s at home, then your rant might well be in order.