To be livid about this friends help?

[LividTenantffs]

10 hours ahead of the UK, mind the time difference.

My estate agents (renting) are arseholes.
My friend has in depth professional knowledge about their antics and the shit they're trying to stick on me (claiming I've done damages in a way that is not plausible) and offered to come To me for the inspection so I wasn't intimidated (easily done when it's four people against 1.)
I had a 2 hour time slot for the inspection today between 2 and 4. At 2:10 friend hadn't turned up.

At 2:25 the 2 agents turned up, "contractor" and random person in tow (random person just hung around and took some photos of the "damage"). I was shouted at, intimidated and told that they'll come after me for "thousands" for the damage I have done to the property.
At 2:40 they left which is when I immediately called my friend, who revealed that he hadn't even left the bloody house (but was really just about to).

Helpful.
I'm so livid, not even an apology from this friend.
I'll be dealing with these agents by bringing in my own contractors and a legal advisor (to which I'm sure they'll quickly back down - as they have done over another issue) but for this inspection today I really needed someone there on my side, someone who knows the local regulations and laws better and who is pretty confident arguing with these types of people. I'm not and I've lived in this country less than one year.

Aibu to be fucking livid with my friend? No apology or reason even offered. Just a load of waffling about how it'll all be fine if I just do x and y (not the point is it!).

Friend sounds unreliable but being livid is a bit much. Sounds like you are dealing with the issues well without the need of your friend.

You could've called your friend while they were there. your friend could have argued the points over the phone on your behalf. It would have been a good tactical move too as the other 3 couldn't argue/hang up on the person on the phone so it levelled it back to 1:1z

I think you're being livid with the wrong person.

Well, you know what to do when he needs a favour. Twat (him).

I'm already livid over the agents, don't worry about that I have plenty to go around
What's angering me isn't just the fact he didn't turn up it's the lack of apology and sincerity in his response. Just waffling.

Perhaps I am being U because I'm already fucked off for everything else.
I'll take it on the chin.

It's understandable that you're annoyed but I think you might be misdirecting all your anger at the situation towards him. He shouldn't have offered to come if he couldn't be relied upon to be there, but he didn't actually have to offer at all. I hope the situation works out for you, sounds stressful!

Has he given you some good advice you can act on? I think if you need his help, you need to be grateful rather than livid. You'll need him in the future. Although it's obvious you are very stressed and it would have been good if he had recognised that.

I think that's a really, really shit thing to do. When you promise to be there for someone, and you aren't, it does harm.

I'm going to be in the minority on this because Mumsnet has some very, very strange attitudes towards friendship, to the point that I highly doubt many on here have actual friends in real life.

I'm with you Op... I'd also be massively cross with this friend who said they'd be there to support you at a stressful time, and in a situation where they had much more knowledge and information to add.

It was a bad time to show you that they're not reliable and don't even realise the importance of not turning up.

There's not a lot you can say to them really though, apart from letting them know you feel let down by them for both reasons. Maybe they can redeem themselves by helping you fight the case with thegreedy bastard estate agents. Good luck!

Agree with Whisky - it was a shitty thing to do. This isn't forgetting to turn up for a coffee date. He knew that you've been stressing and upset about this situation and said that he would be there to help you. If he wasn't prepared to be there then he shouldn't have offered.

Hope you manage to get it sorted.

Oh I'd be livid too. Having help promised and then not receiving it is much worse than having no expectation of help to begin with. As DH says, it's the hope that kills you.

I hope you get it sorted op.