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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fucking rugby - how much longer

39 replies

restofthetimes · 29/10/2017 14:17

are schools and clubs going to continue initiating little 8 year olds, or anyone, into full contact rugby.

I'm currently sitting here waiting for DH to call me from Kings Hospital where DS, 8, has been ambulanced to following a 'knock' at a festival I wasn't at.

They've just started this term with contact, and almost all the boys were scared witless. Being told, come on you have to tackle. My son was a 'confident' one (probably because DH told him he was rather than it coming from him).

We're in the private school system, and while the headmaster has given the option this year to remain with touch rugby, he's warned that many of the public schools the boys will go on to don't have facilities for touch matches etc.

AIBU to think its barbaric and outdated and wish it was fucking banned to knock anyone from off their feet to the ground and whatever else they're encouraged to do as part of a game????

OP posts:
JennyBlueWren · 29/10/2017 14:27

I do wonder what will happen with rugby especially when you look at the long term impact.
DB was very strongly encouraged to go for it in state school rugby when he was 13 and ended up with a titanium plate in his jaw. It did mean the PE teachers stopped being so pushy for a bit though.

goose1964 · 29/10/2017 14:27

My kids didn't play full contact until they were in the under 12s. They started with touch at under7s and contact was gradually introduced each year with the emphasis on safety. It is horrible if they get injured though

MissConductUS · 29/10/2017 14:27

YANBU. Here in the states, American style football, which is the closest thing we have to Rugby, is being phased out at some school since this research came out:

Brain Damage in Pro Football Players

In schools that still offer American football as an option, changes are being made to the rules to make it safer. I think most of those teams will have to disband as parents simply withhold permission for their sons to participate. Teenagers are literally dying playing this stupid sport:

High School Football Deaths

Again, this is American football, not soccer.

My son rows crew, thank God. The biggest risk is that his iPhone goes in the river.

YARBU.

Dashper · 29/10/2017 14:29

YANBU. DS has just started his first sports club. We've told him he can try anything except rugby.
Someone at DM's school in the 60's broke their neck in a scrum. I'm sure safety standards have improved since then, but still...

CardsforKittens · 29/10/2017 14:29

I hope your son is going to be ok. Flowers

My daughters played rugby and loved it, but it was their choice. Forced contact sport at school is another matter. If your son is happier continuing with touch, that seems like a reasonable compromise.

mermaidbutmytailfelloff · 29/10/2017 14:31

my DC's loved it, couldn't wait to start contact after tag and went on till they were the age for the colts.

Yes its dangerous, so are bikes, and crossing the road and skateboards and martial arts .... They should be properly trained, then the risks are at least managed. My kids got a lot from it - team work, responsibility, control of emotions, fitness - they were incredibly fit.

I HATED watching though for the reasons you say. I wouldn't have stopped them though.

Floralnomad · 29/10/2017 14:34

I dont think you can blame the sport , provided they are being taught properly . Most sports worth playing have an element of risk whatever the age . I hope your ds is ok , but it does seem from your OP that you need to have a word with your dh about perhaps being a bit too pushy with your son . If he wants to play that's fine , but it should be because he wants to , not because his dad wants him to .

AlkaSeltzing · 29/10/2017 14:38

Hope your son is ok OP.
Problem is imo, if they don’t start to do full contact til later, I believe they’ll hurt themselves more.
Rugby is a great game, has the hell of a lot more going for it than a lot of sports in my view.
But, I do get the concern when playing as kids.

happymumof4crazykids · 29/10/2017 14:38

Yanbu! My 13 year old is currently sat opposite me with his arm broken in 2 places thanks to Rugby! He doesn't even play for a team or anything he did it in a school PE lesson Angry

Ofthread · 29/10/2017 14:41

Look at Mike Tindall's nose.

user1483644229 · 29/10/2017 14:42

Kiwi here from a rugby loving background...not letting my son near it. Too dangerous.

mrscampbellblackreturns · 29/10/2017 14:47

YANBU

I hope your son is ok.

I have 2 sons and both loathe rugby. Luckily because neither have much aptitude for it they are in the c/d teams and don't really do any contact.

However it is compulsory to do it in games until year 11.

MissMoneyPennies · 29/10/2017 14:47

Oh no, hope your son is ok. My son is 11and plays contact rugby at the local rugby club. I hate it. He loves it, my husband loves it. I worry about when he goes to high school
Next year. Right now they are trained how to tackle properly. It scares me thinking of big kids with no idea booling about at school.

Original poster
restofthetimes · 29/10/2017 14:52

Thanks all. My son is being trained properly I think. All coaches have done the courses on safety and the new ways to tackle to protect your heads. DH is a coach so I know there's been a lot. The club think they are safer than school - that remains to be seen since they only start next term.

I'm not sure what happened - whether he was tackler or tacklee.

Anyway, CT and other scan of some sort all clear, so they are going to give him some food and see how he is. I'm not sure whether to get the train to Denmark Hill. Takes about 1hr 20.....

OP posts:
WiseDad · 29/10/2017 14:53

Hope your son is ok. We have had injuries with my eldest who played for the A and first teams but has recently stopped as the kids are getting bigger and bigger. He is 15 and has always said thr danger is with aggressive or badly trained players. Watching play I think he is right. Aggressive children, and their coaches, are too hard into rucks and push in scrums in uncontrolled ways. High tackles are bad as well, possibly the worst.

If your school can't show it requires good sporting play then it is best they don't play. If they play aggressive thugs, or play kids trained by aggressive thugs more like, then you shouldn't let them play. Most coaches and teams are safe and capable but a few ruin it for everyone else. The "winning is everything, at any cost" mentality is what causes this I feel.

Fingers crossed for you all.

edwinbear · 29/10/2017 15:01

YABU. DS is also in private school, plays in their A team and also at his local club. He is properly trained, which means they are not playing full contact where they get knocked off their feet. If your DS is playing U9's (as DS is) they should be aiming to grab their hips at this point, having only just moved on from touch. Your club should not be playing full contact just yet and the festivals DS has played at so far this season would have taken a dim view to anyone being knocked off their feet.

Dahlietta · 29/10/2017 15:09

I've been teaching for nearly 15 years in schools that play rugby and YANBU. A&E on a Saturday afternoon is like a little schools gathering.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 29/10/2017 15:22

Please challenge the school with the Rfu guidance on age appropriate game play: www.englandrugby.com/my-rugby/players/age-grade-rugby/faq/

For under 9s, it's a progression from tag but is absolutely not supposed to be full contact.

sirfredfredgeorge · 29/10/2017 15:28

Your son is in year 3 or 4, England Rugby have moving from tag to tackling in year 7, you chose for him to attend a school which introduced it earlier, you chose again to not take up the option.

The school is not alone with blame, and if more parents simply took up the option of opting out, they wouldn't even be able to get a team together.

vlooby · 29/10/2017 15:32

Yanbu. I've taught in a couple of rugby loving schools and the number of students who'd come in on a Monday in a cast was shocking! Got to the point where I'd just say 'rugby'? And they'd nod.never understood why it was allowed! My brother boxed for most of his teens and that seemed so much safer and more regulated!

Barbie222 · 29/10/2017 15:37

Contact at 8? Everywhere here is only touch until at least 11 with gradual introduction to full contact at 13/14. Gives you a chance to decide on the way whether you like it. I would not be happy with contact at 8 and would have withdrawn my son from the sport.

Crumbs1 · 29/10/2017 15:44

Rugby was the making of our eldest son - he plays still for the army U23s. Do I worry about injury? Of course I do but I also know that channeling the aggression in young men, teaching self discipline and giving them the opportunity to take risks serves them well. He didn’t do contact until 11 and wasn’t lifting until much later still.
He was concussed last season and missed a few games but was desperate to get back on the pitch. I’d rather he got his adrenaline rush from rugby than motorbikes, drugs, knife gangs, drunken fighting or teenage showing off. Rugby has taught him teamwork, consideration for others, good sportsmanship, good manners and given him the realistic goal of playing at Twickenham.

RB68 · 29/10/2017 15:44

yeah stick with touch - he is just too young - but also he is likely up against people developing at different rates so bigger players will use their weight to knock him I am afraid and they are encouraged to do so rather than to play more fairly.

As to going down to the hospital - if scans etc all clear let them make their way home and have everything sorted at home for a quiet day or so

Witsender · 29/10/2017 15:53

Yanbu. Saw too many snapped collar bones and the like at school to be a fan. The school over the road had a lad die on the pitch from a broken neck in secondary, funnily enough they never played again.

KathyBeale · 29/10/2017 16:11

Yanbu. Two of my friends have kids who play (they are both 8) and have just started contact. They both said they can’t watch - and one of them is a huge rugby fan generally.

We have just done my son’s secondary application. I felt much more comfortable with schools that don’t focus on rugby. He has the opportunity to try for a private school and the only thing that puts me off is their huge obsession with rugby.