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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find friends comment a bit low

35 replies

ItsLeviosah · 28/10/2017 20:27

I was put last night at a party with the girls from work.
I’m on maternity leave.
I named my daughter something uncommon. I can’t say the exact name but let’s say she’s called “Bessie”.
The bitch from work said “oh how’s Bessie? Hmm Bessie, it’s such a marmite name you either love it or you hate it”. She definetly said it maliciously as she’s that kind of person.

24 hours on I’m more bothered by it and wish I’d said something.

Am I being silly for being annoyed?
If someone said that sentence about your kids name (if you picked a less used name) would you be bothered or brush it off?

Hmm...

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsLeviosah · 28/10/2017 20:28

My other child has a name in the top 10 names.
Not that this is relevant but incase anyone didn’t like my wording, ie using the word “uncommon”.

OP posts:
PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 28/10/2017 20:29

Aren’t all names like marmite? I don’t like the name Gary but people end up with the name so someone must love it

Santawontbelong · 28/10/2017 20:29

Maybe she is a bit envious she didn't choose a dc name outside the box?

Original poster
ItsLeviosah · 28/10/2017 20:29

Well true, but I’d never say to someone’s face that their choice of name for their child is horrible

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 28/10/2017 20:30

You know her better than anyone here so you'd be a better judge if the subtext was ...and I really fucking hate it.

But I suppose the same can be said of a lot of names. Grin

Caulk · 28/10/2017 20:31

I’d brush it off, as I think it’s her issue that she feels the need to say something like that. I might go as far as think it’s sad that that is the place she is in.

I’ve worked hard on becoming more resilient and identifying what’s worth feeling upset about though, a few years ago I would have felt upset about it.

DJBaggySmalls · 28/10/2017 20:31

She must have form for this kind of twattery for you to call her 'the bitch from work'.

DJBaggySmalls · 28/10/2017 20:32

I'd have laughed at her (in my head). Its a bit desperate for attention.

WhatwouldAryado · 28/10/2017 20:34

She has no life if that's her entertainment.

LondonGirl83 · 28/10/2017 20:35

It's incredibly rude but no reaction is better than letting her think she bothers you

Original poster
ItsLeviosah · 28/10/2017 20:38

I think she probably said it to piss me off and get some form of a reaction. I didn’t react at all.
But now I dwell on what she said and wished I had said something.

caulk hopefully I can be like you soon but I really do seem to get bothered about this type of thing. I must learn not to :)

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 28/10/2017 20:38

All three of my children have uncommon names (in the UK).

Everyone was particularly rude when they heard my eldest name. I learned to not give a shit.

She's done very well in work and one of the reasons that she was easily remembered was because of her name.

BenLui · 28/10/2017 20:39

It won’t be jealously, she just doesn’t like the name. That’s fair enough but it’s pretty rude to indicate it.

My D.C. both have uncommon names. Generally people are actively positive about them but I have occasionally had the odd rude comment about DS’s name.

These days such comments make me role my eyes and dismiss them as rude. When he was a baby I remember being much more offended.

Your lovely baby is still little and you are still in that slightly sensitive “What do you mean you think this is the most fantastic child ever!!” stage. It’ll wear off. Smile

She was rude. It reflects badly on her, not your name choice.

BenLui · 28/10/2017 20:40

^^ so many typos in that post. Forgive me.

carefreeeee · 28/10/2017 20:41

You did the right thing by not rising to it. She sounds rude and immature.

Birdsgottafly · 28/10/2017 20:41

"I think she probably said it to piss me off and get some form of a reaction. I didn’t react at all.
But now I dwell on what she said and wished I had said something."

But then you'd be giving her what she wanted and it would have put a downer on the night. Sad people need to dig at others.

notacooldad · 28/10/2017 20:47

So she doesn't like the name ( actually she may like it and just said it to piss you off) seriously don't give it any brain space.
She wanted a reaction from what you have said and she has one ( even though she can't see it)

Let it go as she is of no consequence to you.

KitKat1985 · 28/10/2017 20:58

Hmm, I can see why you might be a bit miffed, but I guess unusual names can provoke reactions. I think you did the right thing in just ignoring the comment.

MarklahMarklah · 28/10/2017 21:00

Not the same thing but years ago a guy in my office said to me, "I don't like that dress you're wearing."
My reply? "Oh good. I only wore it to annoy you."
Shut him up proper!

sourpatchkid · 28/10/2017 21:02

If you’ve picked an unusual name loads of people are going to hate it (I know from experience) you have to learn not to care.

You don’t like this woman anyway, why do you care what she likes and values?

ThatsWotSheSaid · 28/10/2017 21:05

I wouldn't give it much thought. Sound like the kind of rubbish people say all the time. Not malicious just thoughtless.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 28/10/2017 21:07

If you pick an usual name then surely you can't be surprised if people make comments on it.

Your child is going to have to live with it until they are at least 18 and is going to face many comments too.

KurriKurri · 28/10/2017 21:11

Seems like an unecessary remark to make from her - I always just say 'oh that's nice' about names, even if someone has called their child Dorito or something.

My DD has a less common name (or it used to be - becoming more common now) I love it - couldn't care less what anyone else thinks, I wouldn't waste any time thinking about what some woman has said - you chose the name because you love it - that's all that matters.

BenLui · 28/10/2017 21:14

Yellow unusual doesn’t have to mean horrible though. Both my children’s names are real names, properly spelt with nice meanings. They just don’t get used very often.

It’s fine for people to ask about them, it’s not really nice to be rude though.

My kids love their names and love being the only ones in their school.

My lovely friend has a lovely wee girl. I think her name is dreadful. I wouldn’t tell her that in a million years.

permatiredmum · 28/10/2017 21:21

A name is popular because it has widespread appeal- a lot of peop[e like it. If a name is uncommon then that is because it is not so widely liked.That is a truism! I don't know why this has come as a shock or surprise to you! She was quite rude to say it but was correct in what she said

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