To tell her she’ll have to pay if she wants her other son to come?

[MadameJosephine]

Took invitations for DD’s birthday party into school this morning and the very first RSVP text has asked if they can bring a sibling. The cost of the party is £13 a head so my feeling is that if he wants to come she’ll have to pay for him.

Can any of you clever mumsnetters help me word a reply please? Bear in mind this mum is a TA at DDs school so I certainly don’t want to piss her off

I wouldn't pay. O would politely say. Yeah that's no issue however I have already paid for the set amount on heads. If someone doesn't turn up he can fill the place. If not you'll need to cover his cost.

I only pay for those who turn up on the day so even if somebody dropped out I’d still be paying extra for him

Just said sorry no siblings. Usually people put that on the invite round here. Stops any awkwardness!

“You’ll need to pay £13 to (insert name of play center/activity) if you want other siblings to join in”

How about: "So glad X is able to come. I'm sorry to say I have already paid for the party based on the number of children invited - but if anyone cancels at the last minute, X's sibling would be very welcome to take their place." There will, of course, be no last-minute cancellations - and even if there were, you're under no actual obligation to tell her.

'Hiya, that's fine. I'll get your DS's ticket as part of the party booking, can you look after DS's?'

Is it a play centre? They can pay on the door rather than book on the party package. If so, just reply saying they can pay to play.

'If you're happy to pay for Sibling's entrance on the day then by all means bring him/her. I'm afraid party food will only be for the named guests but I'll make sure he/she gets a slice of cake!'

That middle bit is assuming all the paidfor guests get a 'meal'. Have seen siblings come to a party, with parent paying their fee, but then go and sit down and expect food leaving things one place short.

do people really do that,cheeky mare

Is the sibling a similar age?

I’d say “I’ve budgeted for the cost of invited guests but he is welcome to join the group if you cover his fee”

"Sure, there is a £13/head cost that you'll need to cover for as I've only budgeted for the invited children"

I'd send butterymuffin's response

Just text: "sorry but numbers are limited. The venue will charge for any extra people - the price is £13 if you're interested."

It depends on what kind of party it is.

If it's 10 year olds at climbing or bowling party or laser tag or an art workshop or something else done in a group with a group dynamic just reply "sorry, the activity isn't one I can add siblings to, but please feel free to drop [invited child] off and collect at the end"

If it's small children at soft play just say "No worries, of course it's no problem to pay for any siblings on the door, but obviously the party room is just for the party guests"

I'd do the last minute cancellation thing as suggested.

It's just so cheeky isn't it!?!
Why would it be ok for a sibling to come?
If they are not close in age it will cause issues with the dynamics, also numbers you have sorted for food. I'd be tempted to say no, as I would find it too cheeky.
Otherwise something along the lines of 'it's pay per head so you'll need to cover the fee, also just checking will you be stating to supervise extra sibling ?' - if there's an age difference,

I wouldn’t do last minute cancellation excuse as if she knows someone who’s kid cancels she’ll be right on the phone to you.

The answers which just say sorry no are fat better than lying.

DD and the invited child are in reception and the sibling is year 1 so not a massive age gap. It’s an organised party with party games, prizes, a bouncy castle, a meal and party bags included at the local health club. We’ve invited all the children in her class but if they all start bringing siblings it’ll get too big and there’ll be children there that she doesn’t even know!

Of course YANBU. Assuming you're not a millionaire you can't pay for Old Tom Cobley and the world.
I can't believe people even have the audacity to ask.
Mind you there again, in this world
I can well believe it

why lie-just say sorry i hav to pay on theday per head you#ll hav to cover the fee if u want to bring sibs

Is it something she can pay on the door for or not?

If she can pay on the door, I'd say "sorry, I have only booked enough places for the invitees in the party package, but you can pay on the door if you'd like to bring along your younger child."

if not "sorry, I can't accomodate siblings."

Madame then go with

"Unfortunately numbers are limited and the party isn't one I can add extra children to, but if child care is a problem then don't worry about staying, we'll keep an eye on little Fred for you"

oh, not a pay on the door type - so just say "sorry, I can't accomodate siblings, would you like me to see if someone can give [invited child] a lift there and back?"

For things like this I have seen invitations worded something like; 'Siblings welcome via separate arrangement with the venue'. I always thought that was a good way to do it.

good luck.