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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Angry man on bus

74 replies

sayyouwill · 19/10/2017 08:00

More of a WWYD.

I get the same bus into work each morning. There is someone new getting on said bus and he's starting to worry me.
He gradually gets more and more angry every time the bus hits a red light, stops, clips a curb or basically does anything to interrupt his journey. By the time he comes to disembark, he storms down the aisle and knocks into people, pushes them aside and if he clips you'd bag he swears at you and shoves the bag. This morning he punched the seat in front as the bus had to stop to let another bus pass along a narrow corner. It wasn't a full 'everything-you've-got' punch but clearly done out of frustration.
I thought about getting an earlier bus but I already get up at half 5 most mornings and only just get everything sorted and out the house in time for this bus. The earlier bus is half an hour earlier and will have me in work 45 mins before I'm due to start.
Just wondering what you would do in this situation?

OP posts:
sparklefarts · 19/10/2017 08:04

I would think he's an arsehole and just make sure I didn't sit near him (as much as possible) No way would I get up 45 mins earlier to avoid.
Where are you? If you're that worried about him you could email the bus company? Can't think of much else you could do

WhatwouldAryado · 19/10/2017 08:04

I would probably get the earlier bus. But it sounds like he should!

sparklefarts · 19/10/2017 08:05

I also would not engage. I would ignore his stupid seat punching etc UNLESS he started shouting/being physical actually at someone, at which point I would phone the police

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/10/2017 08:07

Can you complain to the bus company? Surely they can ban him if he is being aggressive and physical?

CandleLit · 19/10/2017 08:08

Is it possible to move seats if he sits near you in future? Would be easier than getting up earlier.

Lockheart · 19/10/2017 08:08

You’re not in Southampton are you? Only I used to get on a bus and often a man was on there who would get very annoyed every time the bus stopped at a bus stop. Muttering and rolling his eyes, throwing his hands up in frustration and getting more and more annoyed.

VanGoghsLeftEar · 19/10/2017 08:09

I work on the Tube. This behaviour possibly comes under "behaviour causing alarm or distress". You can contact the British Transport Police on 61016 or send in an email via tbeir website to tell them about this man and seek advice.

Ginorchoc · 19/10/2017 08:10

I'd speak with the bus company or email what you have said here and ask for a response to your concerns.

greendale17 · 19/10/2017 08:14

I wouldn’t want to be on a bus with an angry man who punches seats. I would report to police on 101- sounds like the guy is a ticking clock waiting to go off!

CamperVamp · 19/10/2017 08:28

I would sit near the driver and not engage.

He may be just angry, he may have other factors with delay, social contact etc.

VelvetSpoon · 19/10/2017 08:36

Christ what an over reaction. So this guy is impatient amd angry if the bus is delayed or peoples bags are left in his way. He's probably got a very tight time to get to work and gets crap if he's late - like people on my workplace who are recorded on the 'late book' if they are so much as a minute late.

Are people not allowed to be cross or annoyed ever then? So I get the OP feels scared by this guy (although having commuted a lot through London over 20+ years I've seen much worse - people with serious MH issues having full on screaming arguments with an imaginary person, or their reflection. Or just constantly talking aloud about hating everyone etc...) and punching the seat is pretty poor behaviour. But do people really expect him to be banned from public transport for that? If so where do you draw the line? - the OP and others clearly think this guy shouldn't be tutting, or express annoyance if anyone gets in his way! But it's normal to feel annoyed by stuff like that, and just because you are for some reason scared by that normal reaction doesn't give you the right to say they can't express any emotion. I agree punching a seat is the wrong way to deal with it, but I get the feeling most on this thread would only be happy if the guy sat mute and expressionless...

I'm guessing this is not in London.

TheMaddHugger · 19/10/2017 08:39

Hmmmm Sounds like someone that lost their drivers licence and is now forced to be on the bus

I'd Sit near the driver

tiggytape · 19/10/2017 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brahumbug · 19/10/2017 08:44

Has it not occurred to anyone that he may have mental health issues?

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 19/10/2017 08:47

For god's sake VelvetSpoon ! If you think it is normal and acceptable for someone to be shoving other passengers, swearing at them, and punching the furniture, I have to wonder what your life is like! To clarify, it is NOT normal, it is NOT acceptable, we ALL have to get to work, and YES I live in London, and NO people do not routinely behave like that.

I wouldn't change my bus, but I would assume this guy has massive anger issues and I would sit as far away as possible.

tiggytape · 19/10/2017 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wanderings · 19/10/2017 08:51

For now, keep eyes open and mouth shut. Yes, his behaviour is worrying, and could be the thin end of the wedge. I get frustrated by small delays; I've been known to mutter audibly. He hasn't done anything illegal - yet. I think being ready to report could be a good idea; maybe take notes of dates and times. But as soon as he actually displays aggression towards someone else, then report, report, report. (I'd be very tempted to try and film him, but it could have serious consequences if he spotted it, so I don't recommend it!)

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 08:53

I would report him if he is capable of swearing at people and shoving their bag then he is capable of one day being violent.

HotelEuphoria · 19/10/2017 08:54

I also assumed MH issues or real uncontrollable anger issues and no, I would absolutely not enjoy being in a confined space with him each morning. If he is this close to the edge when faced with normal commuting situations such as stopping at a red light imagine what he would be like in a traffic jam or when stopped for a disabled person to embark.

Happyemoji · 19/10/2017 08:58

VelvetSpoon I've spent so long out of London I forgot what it was like. To get on a bus with a pram you'd be lucky.

pictish · 19/10/2017 08:58

Brahumbug - yes it did. MH issues or something else going on causing an inability to cope. Of course he might just be an arsehole but it seems less likely with it being a regular thing. Personally I'd just stay out of his way....sit away from him and keep distance.

ArcheryAnnie · 19/10/2017 08:59

Has it not occurred to anyone that he may have mental health issues?

Brahumbug this doesn't mean other passengers should be expected to put up with aggressive behaviour from him, should they? What about other passengers who also have MH issues, including PTSD from domestic violence, or whatever?

Nandoshoes · 19/10/2017 09:03

It's INFURIATING that people are trying to say for you to go out of your way and get an earlier bus.

I would literally try my best to ignore it and if anything else happens e.g. Punching the seat I would contact the transport police. I think there's a text number on the bus.

Maybe watch videos or a podcast or something on the bus to distract you from it if it worries you.

Would hate to work with this guy or even worse be married to him !

smallmercys · 19/10/2017 09:11

He has no excuse - the man is verbally and physically violent and a threat to those around him. It may escalate and he may harm someone. Therefore to protect the public his behaviour means he should not be allowed to travel on your bus, either by the bus operator or the police authority. You could put that process in motion if you made a formal complaint and let them handle it from here on.

GrumpyOldBag · 19/10/2017 09:14

He may have mental health issues.

I would suggest you bring it up with the bus company - they may have CCTV on the bus - so they can follow the appropriate procedures.

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