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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Does anyone else find the Harvey Weinstein thing too 'triggering'?

18 replies

BulletFox · 15/10/2017 19:33

Obviously he's an abusive pig but just reading about it recently has started to resurface all starts of memories (never encountered him, men in general).

It's really unsettling

OP posts:

dressinblack · 15/10/2017 19:47

Yes the second I see anything on TV I turn it over and if friends/family have mentioned anything I shut down the conversation as quickly and discreetly as possible.

It's just awful.

UterusUterusGhali · 15/10/2017 19:51

Agreed.
It's the coercion. And feeling of helplessness.

Felixandtheflippers · 15/10/2017 20:50

Yip for me too- hadn’t thought about it in a long time. Feel v sad about the whole thing now and don’t understand why I didn’t do more at the time- but I know why I didn’t- no one would’ve believed me.

Tara336 · 15/10/2017 20:54

It's upset me, bringing back memories of an assault at work. I wish I had the courage to do something at the time.

WhooooAmI24601 · 15/10/2017 20:55

Absolutely. DH came to bed last night and put his arms around me as I drifted off. I rolled away and went to sleep far, far away (disclaimer- DH isn't a dick at all and is the least likely candidate to commit sexual assault so it wasn't about him so much as just how I was feeling - having been violently assaulted as a child and a young woman - and the memories it released). Listening to yesterdays news just before I went up to bed made me realise just how widespread, how destructive and how vicious this all is. And how vulnerable women and girls really are even in our 'civilised' society.

hahahaIdontgetit · 15/10/2017 20:55

Yes,it was when someone on here asked who had never been a victim of sexual harassment, and initially I thought not, then I thought about all the times in my teens and twenties that men thought they could put there hands on me and say awful things because they held some kind of power.

LondonNicki · 15/10/2017 20:55

Yes it's brought back horrible memories. I'm really angry that the majority of my friends have also suffered sexual violence and I despair of the world this week. We need to do something to change this.

BestIsWest · 15/10/2017 20:58

It has brought back memories for me too. Made me so angry.

CodeineAndCornflakes · 15/10/2017 21:44

It's made me remember my old landlord, and it was years ago but has made me so angry when I'd not thought about it for a long time.
After XH left me with baby DS and no money, I was basically told by LL he felt sorry for a struggling Mum like me being left in the lurch (i was 20) and as a favour he would waive my rent "so I could have more money to treat my son" if I did him a favour or two back. He was around 60 years old, and he fucking knew he was preying on a young and depressed single mum who'd been left in the lurch with no money.
As it was, he was unaware I luckily have a close family who were able to support me while I got myself back on my feet. Once I told them what had happened, they got me out of that house and into another, as I didn't want him near or "just popping by" as I lived on my own.

But if I didn't have family or a support network back then, I really might have had to.
So yes it's triggering but for some unknown reason I can't help trying to find everything out about it, rather than ignoring it.

Arealhumanbeing · 16/10/2017 12:49

Yes last week was tough for me. Not nearly as tough as it was for Rose McGowan and her many colleagues.

It seems that although there have been a few brainless remarks in the media and a couple of weak attempts at victim blaming; there seems to be much less of it this time. Do others feel that’s the case?

Hopefully this will be the beginning of a true understanding of patriarchy and rape culture. Especially rape at work and adult on adult sexual abuse, the true nature of sexual coercion and how common it is..

Arealhumanbeing · 16/10/2017 13:14

Asia Argento’s story was a little triggering for me but I’m mainly in awe of her for being so honest.

To admit that she had a “consensual” relationship with HW after being raped by him will put her right in the firing line as most people will just refuse to attempt to wrap their minds around such a thing.

Again it’s incredibly common and I often think that the reason women are missing from male dominated industries or opting out of their careers is because most are dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic incident.

CoolCarrie · 16/10/2017 13:27

It has make him angry more than anything. I've been touched up, friend's husband tried it on, had a guy in a pub where I worked say something disgusting to me, so emptied the brimming ashtray over his head, but I've been lucky, a word I shouldn't have to use , to have never been seriously assaulted.
I live in a country where rape and sexual assault is 'common place' but my hear sinks every time I hear of the latest assault on young women, old women, babies, children, the most vulnerable in the world, and I just keep hoping it will change. We have a president who was cleared of a rape charge, when he undoubtedly did it, so what example does that show to men here?

upperlimit · 16/10/2017 13:31

Yes. I told DH about being assaulted as a girl for the first time yesterday. We been married for 15 years. I was abused by an older boy who was probably abused too. So, I don't know what to do with that really. I feel shit that it happened and guilt I didn't speak up. I had it neatly tucked away in a box in my head, filed in a do not open, but this last week has just picked away at it like a scab. Fuck.

mrsharrison · 16/10/2017 13:40

Yes it's triggered painful memories, of me taking it to court, being called a liar in a courtroom of strangers, and watching my attacker walk free is the killer.
Yes, let's encourage women to put themselves through that crap when there are so many rape apologists out there.
I'd still go through it again, just to let the monster know I will never back down.

Primamadonna · 16/10/2017 13:59

I was thinking the same OP, it's brought up memories of general maltreatment that I had to put up with.
I feel so sad for HW victims and for all of us. I have also realised no matter how rich or famous you are, you are still vulnerable. I didn't realize that terrible casting couch shite went on since the 70's. It also has ruined careers. I expect he's one of many and it's depressing that bastards like that are able to exist

isambardo · 16/10/2017 14:04

Yes, I woke up in the early hours last night and remembered an incident I'd forgotten. I thought I'd only had a few incidents of harassment but so many more are resurfacing. As a teenager, at work, on nights out.

parmavioletmartini · 16/10/2017 14:22

Yes. Mostly after an acquaintance made a remark that those “women” allowed other women to get hurt by being selfish and not speaking out. I didn’t report my rape mostly because of self preservation and it has brought up huge feelings of guilt.

Motoko · 16/10/2017 20:14

Yes, especially after seeing some posters on another thread saying that they'd never experienced it, thereby implying that it's not as big of a problem as it is, and also that women who have experienced it are mixing with the wrong people, because all the men they know are decent.

I worked out that just between the ages of 10-18, I'd suffered 6 sexual assaults and harassment (that I can remember).

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