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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about my friend?

8 replies

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/10/2017 11:47

My friend just announced her engagement. She told me last week and asked me to be her bridesmaid. Great! Except she has been seeing this guy for 3 weeks now. The week before they started going out, she was with someone else who she was happy to move across the country for. Before him, she was engaged to someone else.

I’m really worried that she is rushing into this. She told me they are setting a date for next Easter so it’s not even going to be a long engagement.

Before anyone says it, I know it’s none of my business but she is one of my best friends and I care about her. I don’t want her to get hurt.

OP posts:
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 15/10/2017 11:56

I don't know, because me and DH were engaged after three weeks too.

You know her best, so you'll know her history etc. Be there for her.

Sorry it's not more helpful. 🌺

RosiePosieRosie · 15/10/2017 11:56

Ultimately, people make their own decisions. There isn’t a lot you can do to change that. Just don’t get too invested in the wedding or spend a lot as I have a feeling it won’t happen.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/10/2017 11:57

Thanks AllRoads

I really hope it does all work out for her. I really do.

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/10/2017 12:00

RosiePosieRosie

I will be excited about being her bridesmaid when I am walking down the aisle in a dress, watching her say I do.

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/10/2017 12:11

Anyone else?

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thecatfromjapan · 15/10/2017 12:16

You say she's your best friend. You are suggesting she has a history of this sort of thing.

Come on, are you really on MN to ask us what we think about this proposed marriage?

The questions you really need to be asking are: does she have a history/pattern of impulsive behaviours in other areas of life? Is it damaging? If yes, why is she doing it? If yes, do friends enable it?

Along with more short-term and situation-specific questions such as: Is this fiance a good person? Is this good for my friend? And also, the big one: Is this a friendship a healthy one for me?

shakingmyhead1 · 15/10/2017 12:31

well this isnt the first time.... so she might find someone else and get engaged again in a few months... or this might be the real thing and be the kind of love they write movies about... either way it all works out

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/10/2017 12:56

She’s not particularly impulsive in other areas of her life.

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