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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'Girls' parties

39 replies

NotForSale · 13/10/2017 13:05

Just spoke to a venue for my daughter's birthday party. He said they "do Frozen parties for girls". I replied that I find that sexist- why can't boys have a Frozen party? The poor work experience lad looked utterly bewildered... he said they have neon parties and football parties for boys.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/10/2017 13:06

How about just doing parties....

Everyone chooses what they like witg no assumptions as to who it's for.

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 13:07

No, definitely not, though it's not the fault or responsibility of the boy you spoke to. They should just provide those parties rather than needlessly ascribing them to one sex.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/10/2017 13:07

Oh yanbu of course

honeysucklejasmine · 13/10/2017 13:07

YANBU, but presumably they wouldn't prevent a girl from booking a football party, or a boy from booking Frozen?

InDubiousBattle · 13/10/2017 13:10

Did they refuse your dd a football party?

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 13:11

The point, I feel, is the parties shouldn't be presented as "girls' parties" or "boys' parties". It's needless and enforces gender.

Original poster

NotForSale · 13/10/2017 13:12

I enquired about a generic party, I hadn't given any thought to a theme, it's just a soft play centre

OP posts:

CoughLaughFart · 13/10/2017 13:13

For God's sake, no one has told you that you can't have a Frozen party for boys. But the reality is the majority of children who want one will be girls. You asked someone who you yourself describe as 'a poor bewildered work experience lad' a question around the gender targeting policy of the company. What were you expecting in response?

honeylulu · 13/10/2017 13:14

I expect they'd happily do a Frozen party for boys or a mixed group. It would just tend to be unusual. My daughter has been to lots of Frozen themed parties (for girls birthdays) and none for boys.

I've brought mine up as equals with all opportunities open (I'm an ardent feminist) but my daughter and her friends do like traditionally girly stuff and that can't be helped.
My son was a different kettle of fish and often had a pink birthday cake or dance themed parties (hates football) in his primary years. That was ok with us too.
I don't think the chap said anything "wrong" except perhaps over generalizing a bit.

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 13:15

For God's sake, no one has told you that you can't have a Frozen party for boys.

There's no need to present the parties as for boys or for girls. They're parties. They're pushing gender onto children. The response will hopefully be feedback to those who brand them as such to present them simply as themed parties.

MadMags · 13/10/2017 13:15

Well, did he say you couldn't have a frozen party for a boy??

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/10/2017 13:16

Yes but if they have already decided that the frozen party is for girls then all the merch they put out and in party bags will reflect that so instead fluffy pink pens and heart bubbles etc

Nothing wrong with those either obviously but if they he see the parties like that then everything will be crap like that rather than something open to everyone that just happens to be Disney

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 13:16

my daughter and her friends do like traditionally girly stuff and that can't be helped.

The recent programme "No More Boys and Girls" showed how this is actually quite enforced by society and that, whilst it will be for some, for many it's not really choosing.

NoLoveofMine · 13/10/2017 13:17

Well, did he say you couldn't have a frozen party for a boy??

Another one missing the point. The parties shouldn't be labelled as for girls or boys.

honeylulu · 13/10/2017 13:18

Giles some boys might like a party bag like that. My son would have loved a fluffy pink pen and heart bubbles!

CoughLaughFart · 13/10/2017 13:21

But you're all assuming the company has a policy of branding their themed parties by gender, rather than someone not even out of school telling you they offered a service that will, in all likelihood, appeal to girls.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/10/2017 13:21

Im sure many boys would but it only serves to highlight differences depending how it's done.

InDubiousBattle · 13/10/2017 13:21

I'm really not missing the point. I do get it I just think it was, in the op's own words an 'utterly bewildered work experience lads' turn of phrase. Of course it's s exist to say 'Frozen parties are for girls' but I'm guessing the venues experience has pretty much been that all if the Frozen parties have indeed, been for girls.

KERALA1 · 13/10/2017 13:22

Ridiculous. Just held a gladiator sports party at our local sports centre for dd and her mixed sex friends. Wtf with all this gendered nonsense was not like this for us growing up

Notreallyarsed · 13/10/2017 13:24

I’ve never really understood the parties for girls or boys thing. Surely there will be both boys and girls at the party? I know my kids have friends of both genders.

MadMags · 13/10/2017 13:37

I'm not missing the point.

If you want the company to stop gendering parties go right ahead and tell them that.

A schoolboy can't help you either way.

Jellyheadbang · 13/10/2017 13:39

I hate frozen themed parties. So do both my son and daughter. Unfortunately everyone around us seems to love them and those foul flammable blue dresses

Jellyheadbang · 13/10/2017 13:41

KERALA1 I miss my brown corduroy dungas. Corduroy is no longer my friend.
I also had faux denim dungarees with a coordinating lighter 'denim' front pocket. Happy days.

Original poster

NotForSale · 13/10/2017 14:43

So pleased most of you get my point!
It's not the fact that there are Frozen/ neon/ football parties available, it's the fact they were assigned a gender

OP posts:

CoughLaughFart · 13/10/2017 15:13

But by a teenager! NOT by the company.

He may well be a 'typical' football and video game loving lad. The idea a boy might like a Frozen party may seem alien to him. That doesn't mean it's company policy to say Frozen parties are girls only (or indeed that any of the parties he said were 'for boys' are unavailable for girls).

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