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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for more money?

46 replies

Jellyheadbang · 12/10/2017 11:50

I have been offered a job which currently isn't advertised. I have kind of been headhunted by someone I've worked alongside...they've managed without someone in place for the position but really need somebody now. anyway, the hourly rate is ok but not enough for me as a single mum with a mortgage , not as much as my current role (which I am not enjoying anymore but pays really well for my level of skills and qualifications)
The hours and location of new job are better, it could be fun, they have offered it to me there and then at the interview and told me to go away and think about it.
I don't know how to assertively tell them I need more having not discussed it in the meeting..can I even ask at this stage or would it seem rude?
if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them!

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 11:51

Tell them what your current salary is and say you would need slightly more than that to move. I've done it in the past when I've been head hunted and they stuck another £4K on.

kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 11:52

Have they offered the job in writing? If so just respond to the email.

OuchBollocks · 12/10/2017 11:53

Of course you can and should ask. This sort of reticence is one of the reasons why men out earn women. We are socialised to be nice and grateful for what we're given, men are taught to 'go get 'em son'. They want you. Get them to make it worth your while.

Motoko · 12/10/2017 11:54

Well, you could say you can't accept the role unless they match your current hourly pay. You could even ask for a little more, if you think they should.

kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 11:54

^ this. Always tell yourself, they're not offering you a job out of charity. YOU have a service that they need.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/10/2017 11:54

Worth asking. Send an email saying thanks for the offer and you're thinking about it but need to clarify the package before making a decision and you need £xx to be able to accept. Don't over explain or mention your circumstances. Keep it factual and put the ball in their court.

Are you prepared to walk away if they say no?

Original poster
Jellyheadbang · 12/10/2017 11:55

Ah thanks for your quick replies. The offer is verbal so cannot respond via email, that would be the easiest thing to do!
I guess the most assertive thing would be to phone up...but....
I have never done this before, I have always gone for local authority jobs with very clear payscale but this is a private co.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellyheadbang · 12/10/2017 11:56

Hi annelovesgilbert I would have to walk away I think I'd really struggle if I took it at the current rate Confused

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 11:59

Do you have an email contact? You could still send an email saying something like..

Good Afternoon ....

Thank you for meeting with me on .... I've thought about your offer and am very interested in coming to work for you. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to accept any less than £.... for this role.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Best regards ....

shouldaknownbetter · 12/10/2017 12:01

You are in the perfect position to negotiate, seeing as they want you but do not (yet) have you.

Just be confident and tell them that your salary requirements.

Why would it be rude to say this if they've not even discussed it with you yet? If they'd discussed a salary with you in the interview and you then went back for me, that would be rude.. but I think they will be impressed with your confidence and ability to negotiate/know your worth if you go back to them now, so go for it and don't be shy!

ReanimatedSGB · 12/10/2017 12:09

No point taking a job which will leave you in financial difficulties. Phone them and say that, as salary was not discussed, you would be looking for something in the range of [your current salary - 2/3K more than your current salary]. Then if they go 'Oh no, eek, we are only paying [£2/3 k LESS than your current salary]' you can say, sorry but that's not going to work for me.

Original poster
Jellyheadbang · 12/10/2017 12:09

In the interview they (directors) just told me the hourly rate. I didn't feel comfortable negotiating at that point.
When I was asked to apply by my contact (a manager) he'd mentioned a slightly higher rate but as a possible not a definite. I would have wanted the higher rate he mentioned but when they showed me their salary offer the higher rate wasn't even on the piece of paper.
So I could have discussed it at the interview but didn't as would have felt awkward 'well mr xyz said this figure' ?
Do people think email is acceptable as opposed to phone?

OP posts:
iseenodust · 12/10/2017 12:10

I would be clear about your current salary level so they know what the market is paying. This is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you are asking for more.

iseenodust · 12/10/2017 12:11

Email is fine as it easily allows them to go away and have a think too.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/10/2017 12:13

I think you've got to bite the bullet, call them or arrange a visit in person and say you love the sound of the role and really want to accept, but having looked at your finances, you just can't accept it with that salary. Name a slightly higher price than you want (or need) and give them room to negotiate it down. And do it quickly. They obviously want you as they offered it to you on the spot.

Agree, it's never fun but you will have to do this. Also shows them you have the confidence to negotiate and how much you value yourself. Good luck!

kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 12:15

but having looked at your finances, you just can't accept it with that salary.

Don't say this, your finances are none of their business and it's really unprofessional to mention them.

An email is perfectly fine, you could mention your current salary but you don't have to. Just mention the figure you want. Be polite but not apologetic.

MrsHathaway · 12/10/2017 12:17

I did this. Agreed in principle at interview, then when it got to the nitty gritty with HR it became clear the financials weren't going to work without some adjustment. In the end they paid the maximum they could within the band but I didn't work the full hours for that money IYSWIM. I can't remember exactly.

But yes the financial side is a completely separate discussion from the hours/location/skills etc. Be assertive. You can't even consider it below £x and it would be a real stretch below £y. You'll know what those numbers are don't forget to round x up a bit.

Thinkingaboutarevolution · 12/10/2017 12:18

You have nothing to lose really. You sound like you cannot take the job at the current offered rate so are going to turn it down. If you ask, then the worst that can happen is that they say they are unable to offer more and you turn it down. You have to ask, good luck!!

Fattychan123 · 12/10/2017 12:23

I have applied for jobs before , they have offered me the role at a rate I said no they always offer lower than they account for.

Say you want x p/h if not ,its not beneficial for you to leave.

bumblingbovine49 · 12/10/2017 12:27

For goodness sake!! It is money. This is for a job and unless I am mistaken, you agenrally sell your services for pay in a job. If you can;t discuss money in that scenario when can you? The Bitish attitude to discussing money is really weird!

Call them up and say the job sounds really interesting but you salary is a problem. Ask if there is any wriggle room/leeway (whatever phrase you feel works best). If they say no, there is your answer. Never mind better luck next time, look for something else.

If they say there could be, say you would need to be paid in the region of £xx (make this higher than the minimum you will accept) and negotiate from there. Have a bottom line and don't go beneath it. They are in business they won't dislike you for it and if they do then best to know now as I wouldn't want to work for them. Bepolite, fiendly but direct and not at all embarrased. It will be fine

If they say they told you the salary at the interview, say you had wanted to go home and think about it and see if the amoutn would work for you but having thoguht about it, it doesn't

Job done - Call them. DO NOT EMAIL. You will have much more leverage face to face . Once the agreement is made, then get it in writing before resigning from your current job.

RideOn · 12/10/2017 12:31

Email them/ring them asap and say although you really want the postition the hourly rate is too much of a pay cut.
Say you would like them to consider the slightly higher rate - just state the rate not that someone else mentioned it.
Also would mention your current salary.

You are under selling yourself. You make it sound like you are overpaid currently and I bet you are not, the payscale is the pay that you should be getting. You have been headhunted, then offered the job, this is not because you are not worth the money you are paid!

Ttbb · 12/10/2017 12:39

Most employers expect you to. The reason why a gender pay gap still exists is because women aren't assertive enough

NorthStarGrassman · 12/10/2017 12:44

I recruit. It is extremely common for people to request more money after the offer has been made. You don't need an excuse, just say unfortunately you would not be able to accept the position at any less than x amount. Unless they are a very small new company I can guarantee you will not be the first person who has done this!

AlternativeTentacle · 12/10/2017 12:55

My go to response is 'I would need X in order to accept'.

And X is usually significantly higher as I lose benefits of the time I am with the current company.

Original poster
Jellyheadbang · 12/10/2017 12:56

NorthStarGrassman that's uber reassuring thank you.
I've just contacted my contact (!) to request the director's direct contact deets, let's see how it goes Shock

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