AIBU about this argument with my dad?

[Mountie5]

My dad didn't visit after I had my baby but when he was about 4 months I took him to see my dad and my dads partner and I had to stay overnight as they don't live locally. I didn't have dh with me as dh and my dad don't get on so well. Plus he had to work and I was on maternity leave.

My dad was fine but his partner was awful. She kept slamming doors and giving me dirty looks and comparing DS to her grandchildren who are two months older (twins.)

It was so uncomfortable and oppressive I ended up going home early and I felt bad as my dad was disappointed. But now things are even frostier between the four of us. Was I really being so unreasonable?

No, they were being arseholes. Sorry.

We wish for loving parents and sometimes we don't get what we need at all.

Enjoy your beautiful baby!

Did you dad make any mention of his prtner’s childish, unpleasant behaviour? That would be the first thing to sort out. Ask him about it & tell him how uncomfortable it made you feel.

Your dad doesn’t really have much hold on being disappointed if he & his partner are not being welcoming.

He apologised to me for it but only to me - didn't call her on it. I think he's terrified of offending her.

There are ways and ways of challenging behaviour like your SMs. Challenge is dreadfully confrontational word but you get my drift. I like a bit of passive aggressive:

Dirty looks:
"Your eyes look tired, have you tried a new optican?"

Door Slamming:
"Nasty draught you have there Dad, you should call out the double glazing people,they need to find why your doors keep slamming"

Twin Comments
"Thats nice but I'm not into competitive parenting by proxy " >head tilt

Can you arrange to see your dad without her? She sounds awful and I wouldn't be making any effort to be around her, I certainly wouldn't want her around my baby.

I'm sorry she made you feel so bad xx