My DF's phone obsession - AIBU

[AbuHamsta]

I already realise this is a bit petty, but I'm feeling grrrrrrrrr. My parents came round for lunch yesterday. We get on well and it's always nice to see them, but - aside from when we were sitting at the table eating, my DF spent the entire time on his phone, looking at the internet. WITH KEYBOARD CLICKS ON!
My DM and I both commented mildly that it was a bit antisocial, and he got huffy and carried on with his important mission to find a new camera battery. I'd say that of the 4 hours my parents were at ours, DF spent 3 hours on his phone, ignoring us. And this isn't the first time. AIBU to think this is just fucking rude and someone needs to Say Something?

I'd have treated him like a teenager who tried to do that during a meal.

Take the phone, put it on the kitchen side and say you can have it back after we have finished eating!

Any complaints - My House, My Rules!

To be fair, he didn't use the phone while we were eating. But as soon as the meal was over, out came the phone again and on went the blinkers. As you say, it's very teenage behaviour!

Oops. Total name-change fail.

People who have key tones on should be taken out the back and severely punished. It's HIDEOUS.

(Unless they've got a signed note from a medical professional to say it's a reasonable adjustment. I'm an intolerant monster but I'm not unreasonable.)

Absolutely rude.

I have a basket - it sits on a small table beside our dining table. My DCs (and DH) all know that phones get dropped in the basket before we eat - every meal we have together. At weekends we try to eat together as many meals as possible, during the week, our evening meal is almost always eaten together.

I actually have had cause to laugh, because the DCs (21, 19, and 12) are so accustomed to using the basket that they will drop a phone or 3ds in it when they sit down to eat breakfast or lunch alone.

Guests are offered the basket when they join us for a meal. We don't demand that they put their phone in... but the fact that the rest of the family does it does put the pressure on without saying a word.

WITH KEYBOARD CLICKS ON!
This is SO RUDE! Although, being an older person in possession of modern technology, perhaps he needs you to explain the relevant etiquette. Or at least how to turn keyboard clicks off.

Guests are offered the basket when they join us for a meal. We don't demand that they put their phone in... but the fact that the rest of the family does it does put the pressure on without saying a word.

Please tell me you're talking about teenage guests and not adult guests?!

You and your mum should both get your phones out and focus on them whilst ignoring him

I can handle people using their phones. It's rude but as long as you're not sitting in awkward silence with no one to speak to it's not the worst thing in the world. Ignorant but won't kill you.

Keyboard clicks however? NO NO NO NO FUCKING NO! Phones shouldn't even have them as an option!

My family and I went out for something to eat a few months back and a lady on a table nearby had keyboard BEEPS on. Remember the super loud Nokia ones? (that yes, you could still turn off!!!) and she was writing a full bloody dissertation by the sound of it. For over half an hour we had nothing but beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. How it didn't irritate the fuck out her too I'll never know. DH had to stop me from going up to her and dropping her phone in her coffee!

No, I mean every guest. If you don't respect my family enough to set down your phone and share a meal, I don't have issues with you feeling uncomfortable about your choice.

Or at least how to turn keyboard clicks off.

I have offered. Many times. But DF thinks that if anyone changes anything on his phone or computer, it's broken. Except, of
course, for his friend J, who Knows About Technology. Hmm - maybe I should get in touch with J.

I'd have told him he was being very rude, and if he had only come over for a free meal, he could bugger off back home again. On his own, of course, your mum being the polite one could stay.

If you invite your parents again, tell him that he's only invited on the understanding that he gives your mum the phone when he arrives, as you want his company. If he can't do that, his invite is withdrawn.

tell him that he's only invited on the understanding that he gives your mum the phone when he arrives, as you want his company

That's a great idea. I'm sure my mother would be fully on board!